Whoah boy. Fun topics. Athol had a post earlier this week about pegging. He doesn’t say so in the post, but I’m pretty sure it was meant as a response to this question in his comments. The post is pretty good as far as an introduction to anal play (says the man who’s never actually done that, only read about it). Some of the anonymous comments in his post trend toward the truly homophobic, but I think there’s a serious point to be made here.
To the vast majority of women, allowing her to peg you is going to be seen as a major DLV. I strongly suspect that most of the women who are the loudest about asking for it are seriously shit testing the men they’re asking. To the woman in the comments who asked the original question I would respond that even though she thinks she wants it, she’d probably lose massive amounts of respect for her husband if she actually got to do it. Pegging is a seriously submissive action. Even among gay men there’s a socio-sexual hierarchy centered around being “tops” and “bottoms.” Most women who are seriously asking for this are not convinced enough of your social dominance. I think this might even be the female equivalent of men’s wife sharing fantasies.
I preface everything with words like “usually” and “most” because there probably are a handful of people out there (men and women both) for whom this is a serious turn on. People have crazy fetishes. But my advice to any man whose wife asks him for this is Proceed Carefully. For 90% of men, the best response is probably to answer that you have no interest in it and never have. Some guys out there (yes, even some straight guys) are probably seriously into this. And occasionally you might run into that rare woman who just has an extreme fetish for this. In the latter case, if you’re not ready to participate in her fetishes, you do have to be prepared for her to find somebody who is. I have no idea how you’d tell the difference between a woman who’s shit testing you and a woman with a weird fetish, though. You’re on your own for that one.
If you do decide to go down this road (whether for her pleasure or yours), proceed with caution. Anal play (fingers, toys) is probably OK, especially if she’s allowing you to reciprocate and especially if you take control of it and frame it in a dominant kind of way (her pleasing you). But you should probably only allow actual pegging if you’re truly that secure in your masculinity, by which I mean that you’ve securely and undeniably established your alpha credentials already. Any pegging event should be both preceded and followed by some extra alpha activity. And I’d suggest keeping it as a novelty act, something done only rarely. And if it ends up leading to her losing respect for you… well, don’t say you weren’t warned.
In my own case this isn’t much of an issue. My wife has expressed that she really doesn’t have much interest in it at all, which is fine by me. I know her pretty well and her body language backs up the words – as opposed to her disinterest in “normal” anal sex, where her words say “I’m grossed out by that” and her body language says “I’m kind of curious but afraid to admit that even to myself.” I’ve come to the opinion that if she were prepared right and introduced to it in exactly the right way that she’d probably not just tolerate or even like anal sex but would likely really get off it (on the other hand, anything less than perfect preparation and execution would probably turn her off of it forever). But I believe that she’s really not interested in pegging at all. Like most women, she’s much more sexually submissive with the right man. If your wife wants to dominate you like that, be cautious. It’s most likely that you’re not the right man in her eyes.
