My husband knows of this blog, and I’m hesitant to post this, but oh well. That’s what I get for telling him about it, I guess.
We’re going on 4 days (I think) with no sex… And I find myself highly perturbed, yet marveling at it. This time last year, I would have been absolutely relieved to have gotten no sexual advances from him. But today I feel… Sad? Irritated? Almost mad? Completely unsexy. He came in today and watched the kids for a little while when I ran to Sam’s Club to buy some things. When I got back, we sat around till the little ones were in bed, and I went to change to go for a run. He didn’t make a pass at me like he usually does when he gets me isolated in the bedroom… He said he wasn’t working out tonight, he was going to bed, and that it would be nice if I took the night watch with the babies tonight. He went to sleep with only a kiss last night as well.
Not only was I kinda pissed about the lack of sexiness, I was kinda miffed that he decided not to work out. He didn’t really work out in Wednesday either. Why does that bother me? I think I’m scared he’ll slip back into his pre-alpha ways. I find myself wanting him to lead more, and be more assertive, but it’s hard to just SAY that.
I know most guys would say “WHY DON’T YOU INITIATE FOR CRIPES SAKE???” and they’re probably right. But somehow I feel like I deserve this for all those times I turned him down. And I still kind of have a mental block about initiating, especially when I’m angry. Also, he is genuinely pretty tired. So I’ll probably just sulk.
It doesn’t help that I switched pills two days ago. They very well might be making me more moody. SIGH.
Man, I hate nights like this.
