I am an introvert. Oh believe me, I may not seem that way to the casual acquaintance… I can fake normal to a T, sometimes I may even come across a little extroverted because I try too hard. But at the end of the day, after even only a few hours of the lightest, friendliest social interaction, I feel emotionally and sometimes physically exhausted. If the interaction is more serious, I’ll get home and want to fall into a deep sleep, but I’ll end up staying awake till midnight overanalyzing every detail of the social interaction, to determine just how much of an ass I made out of myself. I’ll replay embarrassing situations in my head for days. I will be worried, until the next time I see a person, if they now hate me for some small thing that I said, when in reality they probably didn’t even notice what I think happened, or they just don’t care.
My husband is an introvert turned extrovert. In high school, he was the quiet, shy kid that only had a select group of friends. Once he blossomed, he loved being the center of attention. He still does, to the point of embarrassment for me at times, especially if there’s alcohol involved.
Before we settled on our current Captain/First Officer dynamic, this difference in us caused some contention. I would always ask him to call others to schedule get-togethers, or ask him to plan events, and his response was usually “Why don’t YOU do it?” Talking on the phone to someone other than family (and sometimes even with family) is something I hate doing. If it comes between the choice of calling someone to set something up and doing nothing at all, I’ll choose the nothing at all. This would lead to arguments, because he thought I was being ridiculous, and he wanted me to take the lead in whatever was going on. I would get angry because he just couldn’t understand my social awkwardness, because I was so good at pretending to be a social person at times. I wanted him to take the lead in this area so bad, but didn’t really have a way to express it, because I’m a horrible communicator.
Now that he’s taken charge, he knows that if a social interaction is going to happen, he has to take the reigns and make it happen. This also leads to him being an AMOG of sorts, I think, and it’s a good boost for him. It also takes some pressure off of me, because I can sit back and watch him do his thing, and not feel pressured to take the lead of the conversation. I still feel exhausted after a party or a get-together, but overall, it’s helped my stress level a great deal.
