Ladies, if you’re not signed up for emails from Fredericks of Hollywood, get thee to the website and sign up! Once a month, sometimes more, they have a “free panty” day, and all you have to do is show them that you received the free panty email.
For those not familiar with Frederick’s, don’t be scurred when you walk in. For lack of a better explanation, it tends to look like the place where strippers go to get their stage outfits. I can’t confirm that it is indeed the place where they go, but I wouldn’t be surprised. Slutty, sexy undies, stripper heels, gaudy jewelry, the works. When they have a clearance section, it’s usually one hell of a great clearance section. It’s a great place to stock the lingerie drawer.
Friday was a “free panty” day, so I texted Mr. RedPill to let him know, and when he got home I took off to the mall. I really should have gone earlier in the day, because once I got there, the free stock was down to a size that’s one size too small for me. Alas, but at least I have something to work toward. I did find a few nice things to purchase though, so I wouldn’t disappoint the Captain.
On my way out, I spotted a little Paciugo gelato stand, and eyed a delicious looking sugar-free chocolate hazelnut gelato. Score! So I grabbed a small cone, and walked through the mall.
We’re in The South, and if there are any set rules of The South, one of them is that you can’t go outside with ice cream. You just can’t. It almost instantaneously turns into a puddle, so I walked through Sears and eyed the kitchen equipment. Ooooh, there’s that KitchenAid Mixer I’ve had my eye on.
Over the next 10 minutes or so, I had three male Sears employees walk over and ask if I needed anything, with big grins. “No thanks!” I said. After the third, I stopped and realized what was going on…. A semi-decent looking woman, sitting in the kitchen utensil aisle (hey, she can probably cook), eating an ice cream cone (is it possible for a woman to eat an ice cream cone without a guy thinking dirty thoughts?), and holding a BRIGHT RED BAG FROM FREDERICKS, OBVIOUSLY FULL OF SLUTTY UNDERWEAR (helloooooo nurse!). I might as well have been wearing a big red sign that said “Hey guys, I’m a huge slut!”
Oopsie. Teehee.
I wandered home, laughed to Mr. RedPill about it, and proceeded to give him one hell of a Friday night. Giggity.
