I remember seeing this back in my Blue Pill days. I wondered how a woman could subject herself to this kind of treatment day by day, and what kind of piggish man could expect this kind of treatment. And yet, there is some wisdom here for housewives and SAHMs.
I don’t believe it’s all applicable today, in a modern Red Pill relationship, but let’s break it down, shall we?
Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal — on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
Nothing wrong with this one. Agreed 100%. It’s not only for him, but out of love for your whole family. I even go so far as to plan an entire week ahead so I don’t have to really think about it, and try to do some of the prep ahead of time as well. When it comes to nutritious, healthy food, planning ahead is a necessity. It’s those moments when I try to think of something last minute that we end up with hotdogs and mac n cheese. (Not that there’s anything wrong with a junk meal every now and then on an especially rough day, but you can’t make that a daily occurrence.)
Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
This has been on my mind lately. A fellow First Officer on the MMSL forums mentioned speaking to an older lady, who suggested meeting your husband at the door in makeup and a dress. I’m not sure I would go so far as a dress, but something other than pajamas is generally a good idea. If I get dressed and made up to go to Walmart to pick up milk, why not look nice for the one I love when he comes home? This also helps to remind me that even though I’m around children all day, I still have time to be an adult, and a sexy adult at that. It’s not only for him, it’s for me as well.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables.
Generally a good idea, but if you’re already working all day to keep the house clean, not entirely necessary. Cleaning up toys at 5pm as opposed to 7pm isn’t logistically feasible in our house though, since everything will be taken out and thrown around again anyway. I would make this a children’s responsibility; having a set cleanup time everyday, no matter what, reinforces that clean is the norm.
During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
A bit outdated since we have central heating and cooling, but a fire in the fireplace on an especially cold winter day would be a great thing to come home to, no? And no “I’m too girly to get my hands dirty” here. Indeed, catering to his comfort does give me immense personal satisfaction. I wish we had a fireplace.
Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Meh. I love my husband, but no, sorry, I’m not adding that to my list of worries for the day. He may enjoy that I’ve out on makeup and perfume for him, but I don’t think he cares if the 2 year old is wearing pajamas with socks on her hands. I’m already doing laundry for 5 people and 2 little butts, I’m not adding another 3 wardrobe changes a day.
Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.
Hahaha, quiet. Yeah, ok, that was funny. Agreed with the 2nd part, be happy and greet him with a hug and kiss. It’s important for kids to see that their parents are happy and affectionate with each other. I didn’t get enough of that when I was a kid… Seeing my parents happy and even hugging was a rare occurrence.
Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.
Absofreakinlutely, and I’m terribly guilty of it. When the Captain gets home, I just want to lay all my problems at his feet, let go of the breath I feel like I’ve been holding all day, and just relax. That doesn’t help him to relax though… Guys have a tendency to want to fix problems, but most of the problems I lay at his feet aren’t really anything he can fix, so my need to vent just creates unnecessary stress. Instead of spewing it all out at once as I sometimes do, I can wait and talk about it later if I really need to. I should give him time to unwind, because he needs it just as much as I need it. I should assume that his problems are a big bigger than the babies not sleeping (though that certainly seems like a big problem to me in the moment). If he let me know by text that he’s going to be late, no reason to complain, but Captains should have the courtesy of informing their FO’s of any change of plans so dinner can be planned accordingly.
Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
I don’t know about taking off his shoes for him… He’s a grown man, I think he can manage. That’s going a tad far for me, though I wouldn’t be opposed to doing that every now and then as a treat. Also not sure about the drink; he usually has a beer with dinner, I’m not sure if he’d want one first thing in the door. I’ll have to ask him about that.
Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
I think that goes hand in hand with what I said above. However, that last part doesn’t really jive with modern Captain/First Officer philosophies. There should be mutual respect in a C/FO relationship. The FO can defer, but that doesn’t make his conversation more important, nor should she defer if there is actually something of great import she needs to bring up.
Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
I don’t think this really applies to me. I don’t expect him to take me out and entertain me during the week. That’s not the time for it. Perhaps that’s a problem for other people though, in which case I’d advise to rethink those expectations.
The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.
Making the home a safe haven for everyone should be the goal. I should strive to keep my disagreements with the Captain to a minimum during the kids’ awake hours, and we certainly don’t yell or use harsh words.
Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. A good wife always knows her place.
The Captain is responsible for steering the ship, but if the First Officer sees a cloaked Klingon vessel ahead, she should certainly question the Captain’s decision to lower the shields. ‘Nuff said.
