This weekend I’ve been hit with some hard criticism (as happens when you’re blogging to a large audience, I suppose), I’ve dealt with fussy kids and parental burnout, I’ve fought with my husband, and struggled with my hamster. I wouldn’t give up my family for all the gold in the world, but sometimes I still have that thought in the back of my head that says “This sucks. Let’s run off to Mexico for a few weeks.”
Never a serious thought, but I can’t deny that sometimes I just want to throw my hands in the air in exasperation, that’s all. Having small children is just a relentless strain. Oh I love them, I love snuggling them and laughing with them and watching them play with each other, but they are so… relentless. It’s the only word I can think of right now. The twins are AWESOME babies, but there are still two of them. I am so thankful that they are easy individually, because if they were carbon copies of our daughter, I would have sent them back to the hospital and said “Nope, sorry, I changed my mind.” Ok maybe not. But I’d definitely be on some Xanax.
So yeah, we’ve had a fight or two this weekend. Really minor in the giant scheme of things, but still sucks when it happens. It sounds weird, but it’s reassuring to me to know that I can’t get away with the temper tantrums I used to pull, because I know he won’t let me. I also just don’t feel the need to do that anymore, because we understand each other so much better now, even when we’re caught in that moment.
Been talking to a family member about their marriage. I hate feeling helpless. I’m the type that always wants to help, and if I can’t, I feel like I’ve been tied up. Especially when it’s long distance, and I can’t even make them a cup of tea and hug them and be a comfort. I wish I could bottle all my crappy marriage experience and give it to them, so they can see the other side without having to go through it.
