Christmas morning is the best. It’s something we all love growing up, the anticipation of presents unwrapped at the butt-crack of dawn while our parents secretly cuss us out in their heads for waking up at 5am on a holiday. The smell of cinnamon rolls while tossing aside the disappointing sweater and new socks Aunt Kathy gave us. Hitting siblings with empty boxes. Turning on the NES/Super Nintendo/Playstation 1,2,3 for the first time. All greatness.
But why not make a new tradition for Christmas night?
Make him some cookies and milk (with vodka and Bailey’s). Dress up in a little black dress (sans panties) and hooker heels, sit on his lap, and tell him you’ve been a naughty girl. Exchange gifts not meant to be seen with little eyes! Then try them out, of course. A few suggestions. Links may contain nudity, language, violence, and general not-safe-for-workedness.
-An under-the-bed Soft Restraint System. Or, if you want to do-it-yourself, just get some good rope. You can’t go wrong with rope. Charlie Bronson’s always got rope.
-Something I just learned about today… An exercise ball.
-Some slutty, sexy underwear. Y’all know Frederick’s is my favorite. Inexpensive and hot. Not as comfortable as higher quality stuff, but it’s all gonna end up on the floor in 10 minutes, so who cares?
-The WeVibe 3. Don’t have one myself, but I’ve heard great things!
Anyone have any other fun additions?
