First we can start by eliminating what she should not be drinking: beer. This is the worst source of alcohol per volume as most beers average a mere 5%. It will also cause her to go to the bathroom more than anything else you could pour for her. The best drinks to give women are ones that you make from scratch. Making a drink for a girl accomplishes two things. First it helps highlight your attributes and skills and makes you seem more desirable. Second, it gives her the liquid courage to let you take advantage of her in ways her sober self might execute self-restraint. It’s a tried and proven method for me and if I can indulge your curiosity these are some of the best drinks I have found to help seal the deal.
1. Cosmo
Even the most amateur of drinkers knows women love this. Maybe it’s the red coloring, the fruity aftertaste or because it’s associated with the dumb show “Sex and the City”. Anyway it’s an easy drink to put together and women practically believe it’s their duty as females to enjoy it.
2. Malibu rum and pineapple juice
I do not know the name of this drink but even someone who hates the taste of alcohol would not detect the slightest tinge of booze in this cocktail. I have known several non-drinkers who let their guard down when drinking this only to find themselves three sheets to the wind in no time at all. Gentlemen this cocktail is in many ways the equivalent to spiking a girl’s drink with roofies but with none of the legal and moral complications. Basically, if the devil was serving a punch bowl to a bunch of church ladies this would be his recipe.
3. Blow Job
For shots make a blow job. The sexual innuendo is a plus but women genuinely love drinking this. It goes down smooth and its main ingredients are Bailey’s Irish cream and Kahlua which are a staple in every single girl’s liquor cabinet. Also any man who has seen the movie “American Pie” can without much imagination think of uses for final ingredient in the drink, whipped cream, once she is done taking the shot.
4. Cuba Libre
This drink is a rum and coke with a lime. I have found that a girl’s familiarity with coke helps this drink go down easier. It is easy as shit to make and throwing in a lime wedge makes it seem like some effort went in to making this for her. By the way limes can last for months in the fridge and are cheap as shit.
5. Sangria
Every girl wants to go to Spain. I think it’s implanted in their DNA at birth. They see it as a safe European country with lots of history and what not. Anyway, unless you’re a master chef and can cook up some paella this is the next best thing to bringing them a bit of Spanish culture. The sweetness of the drink offsets the potency of the wine and makes it go down easy. Plus unless she is a wine snob, you can use cheap wine as the fruit juices make it difficult to tell what kind of financial investment you put into the bottle(or box) of wine that went into the sangria.
6. Pisco Sour
This drink separates the men from the bartenders. Seriously, if you have never been to Peru how many people have had one? It is actually pretty easy to make and in most liquor stores you can find a bottle of Pisco. While the exotic factor alone really makes women fall in love with this drink, it is also surprisingly sweet, sour and of a high alcohol volume. Since she is a girl (i.e. gullible) you can tell her you brought the bottle of Pisco back from your recent trip to Peru or that you had your Peruvian friends bring a bottle back from their homeland just for you.
There is one other benefit to making drinks I have not mentioned: you can easily make yourself a non alcoholic beverage and pass it off as cocktail. After all it´s not you who needs the liquid lubricant for sex.
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“A little liquid courage can increase her sexual inhibition tenfold”
So the more alcohol you feed her, the less likely she is to have sex with you?
yea i caught that after i submitted it
no margaritas???
Here ya go: 2 parts silver tequila, 1 part Cointreau (or other orange liquor) and 5 parts “Simply Limeade”
This is an amazing drink, without that garbage margarita mix stuff. Throw a lime wedge in and you’re done. I have never ever mat a girl who didn’t love margaritas, and if you make one that kicks ass, as above, you’re in business.
If you can make them, Caipirinhas are awesome as well.
ONE: In this day in age, you’ve got to be real careful about getting a girl tipsy while at your place. Considering the onslaught of feminism and unjust/absurd laws, you can be falsely accused of rape.
TWO: If your game is subpar and is not where it needs to be, then practicing this advice in this column is for you; on the other hand, if yoir game is impeccable and tight, this column’s advice is useless. Personally, I prefer my girls absolutely sober. Am sure to get their panties off w/o a hitch.
Here in Missouri, home of tech n9ne, we call malibu and pineapple juice a “caribou Lou”. We also add 151. It’s stout and women go nuts for it.
lmaoooo
The posts on this site have really gone down in quality lately.
Give her a banana, coconut, strawberry fruit smoothie! With a side of ginger zing! :) Instant energy and full of antioxidants! :)
Do you serve the drink before or after you get accused of raping an intoxicated woman?
That’s why I recommend the Fruit Smoothie! :) Laws in the good ol USA have it that even a TRACE of alcohol in her bloodstream means she’s too impaired to consent and you can end up in court fighting for your freedom. :P So if you serve drinks, have your camera rolling recording the CONSENT.
Uh…you should put a caveat on this article for Canadians saying NEVER DO THIS EVER IF YOU WANT TO STAY OUT OF PRISON. Section 273 of the Canadian criminal code states sex with an ‘intoxicated’ woman is rape…as in, you are actually guilty of it. This can be the case after as few as one single drink (and you don’t even have to know she drank it).
Know who decides if one drink was enough to ‘incapacitate’ her?
A fuckin JURY, that’s who.
This is a goddamned irresponsible article on almost every level, and you’re gonna land Canadian readers in jail with this shit.
I agree with the other posters…this site had promise…what the fuck happened?
If he is not Canadian, how is he supposed to know that?
It’s not his job to keep you out of jail. Christ.
As a bartender for the past 7 years, this was really hard to read.
a little known (in the states) drink that’s VERY popular in southern Spain- tinto de verano
wine glass, fillhalf with red wine, fill last 1/4 of gladd with 7-up or sprite. add 1-2 ice cubes.
very very very very few american women have ever had it, it’s original, and i’ve NEVER had a girl say she didn’t like it. a cosmo- couldn’t tell you what’s in one. lol.
My go-to cocktail is the Caprivodka, a modified Caipirinha which uses Vodka instead of the much harder to come by and more expensive Cachaca. Easy to make, uses few and easy to obtain ingredients, quick to drink, tasty and gets you hammered fast.
Take a half a lime, quarter it, drop it in a whisky tumbler style glass, muddle it to squeeze out all the lime juice possible, add a tablespoon worth of raw sugar, pour in a shot of vodka, give a quick stir and fill the glass with crushed ice. Have the Vodka chilled in the freezer and let it sit for a minute before serving for best effect. Dont use cheap Vodka, go at least for Smirnov, Absolut or 42 Below.
They call them Caiprioshkas not Caiprivodkas in Brazil. It was all I drank in Brazil because sometimes they use some horrid cachaca that gives you a headache before you go to sleep (not kidding).
I always liked to make green Screwdrivers. OJ, vodka and Blue Curacao chilled and served in an unusual glass and you have a drink shes never seen before.
pisco it is..anything that gets them hamered the quickest
so no real listing of ingredients?
also anything more than 2 ingredients is complicating things when she’s already in the room. focus on the chick, not making drinks.
here’s what i use:
vanilla flavoured vodka chilled. tastes amazing. if you want to get fancy it also goes well with coke (vanilla coke flavour) or milk (vanilla milk flavour).
When I take girls to my usual date bar I get a jug of Champagne Sangria (along with a Jolly Rancher), they love it’s taste. Malibu rum and pineapple juice sounds intriguing, I’ll have to try it out. It sounds like a less strong Long Island Iced Tea
Lame.
Pisco sour = liquid diabetes.
That last line is gross. If you’re a dude your tolerance is already likely much higher than the girl’s; if you need to get her shitfaced and keep yourself sober to get laid you’re doing it wrong and you’re kinda rapey. You can use arguments to justify it but you’re getting a girl too drunk to think while tricking her into thinking you’re also drunk when you aren’t, you’re only two degrees of separation from just holding her down and making her take it (but less straightforward than an actual rapist, ya big puss).
Naaa, way to much work, just give her cool white wine, that does the trick, keep filling her glass
Job done
BANG!