You see a man with a striped shirt, dark pants, and leather shoes from Aldo. He’s not wearing that to feel comfortable, he’s wearing that to get laid. I used to wear this uniform but with diagonal striped shirts because they were in style back in the day. Some of you are too young to remember.
After getting some with i’m trying to get laid clothes, I didn’t like how the next morning’s subway ride home advertises my sexual business. It’s like I’m holding a big sign:
“HEY LOOK AT ME! I JUST GOT LAID LAST NIGHT!!! MY BREATH SMELLS REALLY BAD BECAUSE I DIDN’T TAKE A TOOTHBRUSH WITH ME WHEN I WENT OUT TO THE CLUB BECAUSE I DIDN’T THINK I WAS GOING TO GET LAID! BUT I DID GET LAID THOUGH!!!!”
The best thing about being a t-shirt guy and jeans guy is that your uniform is discrete and universal. From the club to brunch with the family, I can easily blend into any environment except a funeral. I can have conversations with strangers on the ride home after a night of sex and not a single soul suspects I just let a girl play with my anus balls.
