A somewhat recent phenomenon is trying to meet up with a girl via text messaging while you’re already out. Before everyone had a cell phone, it was dates or nothing. Whoever you went out with, that was your crew for the night. Arranging to meet someone at the club was dangerous (you may never find them), so you’d start at someone’s apartment or a nearby bar until the crew was assembled. Even when cell phones became popular, the unplanned meetup was uncommon. For example I don’t remember ever deciding at midnight to call a girl to find out where she was. Not only would it have been terribly needy, but it’s all too easy for girls to not answer their phone, and you already know what a pain it is to have a conversation when you’re in someplace loud.

But then text messaging become popular, and everything changed. You’ve probably used one of these messages to start the meetup process:

“Going out tonight?”
“What are you getting into tonight?”
“Where you headed tonight?”

She responds and then back and forth you go until your messages take a stronger tone of urgency upon realizing you’re in a bar with tons of cock and no hope for a same-night pull. Regardless, do not leave your spot to meet up with a girl. She must come to you. I don’t care how lame the bar you’re at is or how much you like the girl or how sincere she seems in wanting to see you, but you must never relinquish home field advantage by going where she is. It’s a guaranteed trap, even if you’ve already fucked her a couple times.

I’ve seen it too often where a guy chases a girl to the bar or club only to see that he wasn’t the only one texting her. He then has to compete for the girl with other guys like he would any other random girl he just approached. Two other common results include getting inadvertently cockblocked by the drunk birthday friend who needs babysitting or getting purposely cockblocked by the fat, disgusting friend.

Understand that texting at night allows girls to fulfill two of their major needs—drama and validation. There is nothing more a girl wants than testing how much a guy likes her by telling him to come to a place where she already has guys on her. It strokes her ego while making her feel desired, almost like a celebrity, and the drama that is sure to ensue is fodder she craves for conversation with her friends the next day— “Oh my god remember when Steve came as I was dancing with Tim? I forgot they knew each other from college hehe!!!”

The revolting part is that girls will go to quite an extreme to set a trap that snags even experienced players. One recent example involved my friend. A girl he met at a bar asked him to come with her and her girlfriend to a shitty bar in another part of town. My friend knew that she probably had some guy waiting for her there so he declined. The girl then started making out with him and stroking his cock through his jeans to show that she’s not playing games and really likes him. This sold my friend (sold me as well since I told him it was probably safe to go), and he hopped in a cab with the two girls. Needless to say but she did have another guy waiting for her, and used my friend to make that guy jealous. I felt just as burned as my buddy did, especially since I didn’t see it coming.

You must defend your home base like a lioness defends her cubs. You own it, and the minute you give it up for some girl who’s texting you, you’re going to regret it. If she’s serious about fucking you, she’ll drag her stupid friend to the bar you’re at for at least one drink. Otherwise she’s with a large group where other suitors or cockblockers will make it almost impossible to advance the seduction.

A good rule of thumb is this: if you don’t get the hookup with her that night, who is put in a more uncomfortable situation? If a girl comes to your bar, and gives you attitude, do you have to make any changes? Nope—you’re in your spot and can do what you normally do while telling her to fuck off. But if you go to a cheesy club to meet her, and she is dancing with some guy, who will be the one having regrets? Not her, that’s for sure.

Either set a proper one-on-one date or make her come to you. You will be severely punished when you run around for a chick, without fail.