I was judged.

I went to Marvin (2007 14th St NW), a U-street hipster joint, with VK, Roissy, and fan favorite Insomnia. It’s a tough decision of whether I rather be alone in a mega-club filled with future models that don’t speak my language or with friends in a bar where I can count the hot cute girls on one hand. It was most interesting that most of the male patrons there had style that was better than a stylish Argentine or Brazilian girl—but they weren’t gay (consciously, anyway).

Two young girls walked passed us and I said, “My friends like cats.” It worked of course because of my supreme alpha body language. Three of us rotate between the two girls, just feeling out the vibe. I had a short conversation with one of them, a 21-year-old American college student at George Washington University. She was attractive without major physical defects, but just four days out of Rio I wasn’t inspired.

It took about six minutes for her to ask me what I “do.” I told her I don’t do anything, just some things here and there. She asked me what I used to do and how I can survive without a job. “I have some money saved up,” was my response. Then she said, “You are so idealistic.”

A couple years ago I met a girl who was aggressive in exchanging numbers. We did a coffee shop first date and talked for an hour. It was obvious to me there was no match but I was still nice. At the end of the date, unprompted, she said to me, “I think I know what your problem is…” and then proceeded to tell me what she thought was wrong with me. She was American as well.

Does every girl think she is a psychologist because she took a couple Cosmo personality quizzes?

I didn’t call the 21-year-old out for being a baby who doesn’t know anything besides drinking, homework, and sucking the occasional dick. We already know what her response would have been: “But I’m so experienced for my age!” (Why is it the only people who tell me that are young, white, and privileged?) I politely let the conversation fade and went back to enjoying my Stella beer. I know my revenge will come one day, when about five years down the road she’s in a situation where she questions her path and will regret not asking a couple open-minded questions to a mature man who questioned his as well.

I downloaded some new porn when I got home—I’ve been watching the same shit for six months.