An excerpt from the new book, coming out Valentines Day!
The coffee was burnt. The soup was burnt. The only thing that wasn’t burnt was the bacon. It’s always undercooked. I ate a spoonful. It’s like bad karma. I had to know what the hell was going on.
“You really love the curry, don’t you?”
Candace stared at her bowl. She didn’t miss a beat.
“It’s better than cooking.”
“I’ll never get what’s with you chicks. Not a single girl on board knows how to cook.”
“What about O’Connor?” Candace gave a nod to the kitchen. O’Connor was standing there working the grill, burning something, I didn’t know what. I stared. Candace looked back. She nodded. Fair enough.
“So how was Webber’s wife?” I said. It startled her. She slammed her spoon into her soup and looks up.
“Is that what you brought me to soup for? For fuck sakes, Dude!”
She slapped me on the arm. I was laughing too hard to feel it.
“I’m just fucking with ya. I hear Sarah is kind of a looker though. Good for you!”
“Yeah, she’s all right. Kind of has that trailer park look to her, you know?”
“I’ve been there.”
“You too?”
“No. I mean I understand.”
“But Webber. Damn, Webber is such a dweeb. Don’t tell anyone this by the way.”
“Naw. The last thing I want to do is tell everyone about Matt’s dick.”
“Oh he didn’t get naked. I kicked him out of bed and told him to take pictures. Aaron and I wanted to fool around with Sarah, but I wasn’t letting him touch me.”
“Harsh, lady. Harsh.”
“Well, I’m not going to let that guy’s dick anywhere near me.”
“I get it, but damn.”
“Yeah, don’t tell him. They come over now and again and it makes Aaron happy. Why did you want to know anyways?”
“His bachelor party is tomorrow. Jason and I are hosting it. I have to figure out what to do.”
“Oh that’s easy. He can’t drink for shit. Just get him drunk then tell him the next day how much fun he had.”
“That’s what Jason said!” Candace took our bowls to the dishwasher, loaded them onto the rack, turned around and shook her head. She gave me the stare. I got it. Don’t tell anyone. Get him drunk. Become a hero.
