When a woman wants to have sex with a man - is burning with desire and is very, very genuinely, heavily attracted to this man - just about the only thing that can stop her is that man.
It doesn’t matter if the man is a put-together millionaire finance bro or a thug sleeping on a mattress on the floor. She’s down for whatever bed they can find. If he’s rich, she’ll show up at his mansion in a pretty dress. If he’s having trouble making rent this month, she’ll show up at his door with a sack of groceries and no underwear on. It’s 2025. People have casual sex all the time without being married, or even dating. If she’s into the guy but he’s entirely not suitable for a relationship, that’s even better! Then she won’t catch feelings.
It doesn’t matter what her friends or family would think. Mostly because she doesn’t tell them. She only tells them about the guys she wants them to know about. It’s 2025. You can meet people off of the internet that aren’t connected to your social circles, which enables you to have hookups with people none of your friends or family know or will ever know. But most of the time, you can still hook up with someone you meet at your best friend’s brother’s office party, and that’s far-removed enough that it will never get back to your social circle.
It doesn’t matter if she’s religious. It’s not like she’s going to report on her sex life to her church friends, and God’s forgiveness is infinite. She’ll even convince herself with all kinds of rationalizations why this mistake was warranted and honestly fairly trivial.
It doesn’t matter if she’s cheating on someone to do it. If someone trusts you, it’s really, really easy to get away with cheating. And really, really easy to spin some kind of mental rationalization why it’s actually entirely the guy’s fault.
It doesn’t matter if she’s dumping a great guy to have sex with a bad one. In her mind, she has rewritten history slightly so that the great guy has always been the wrong guy from the start and she hasn’t been happy for months. Even though two days ago before she met the other guy, she would have told you she had the best boyfriend ever and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.
If a woman is genuinely into a guy and wants to have sex with him, she will make every rationalization, every excuse possible to do so, and will go to great lengths - even inconvenient ones sometimes - to get what she wants.
The converse is also true.
If a woman is not hugely attracted to a guy that logically, she ought to have sex with — for example, her husband, her boyfriend, a good guy who’s really nice to her and wants to date her but she’s not feeling it, whatever else we can think of — she will make every rationalization, every excuse possible, and will go to great lengths - even inconvenient ones sometimes - to avoid having sex with this guy.
It doesn’t matter if the man is a put-together millionaire finance bro. His paycheck isn’t making her tingle downstairs. He’s clearly boring, a workaholic, not doing enough housework, not making her feel special enough — whatever, it doesn’t matter, except that it’s his fault. It doesn’t matter if he’s a thug sleeping on a mattress on the floor. In fact, that’s even better because then she doesn’t even have to try to come up with an excuse to spurn him.
It doesn’t matter what her friends or family would think. Mostly because she doesn’t tell them who she’s not having sex with any more than she tells them who she’s hooking up with. And if anybody in her circle finds out that she’s having problems with her husband or boyfriend, that’s okay. It’s his fault. He’s boring, not enough housework, doesn’t make her feel special - maybe he’s even mean sometimes which is abusive. Maybe he works a lot and she feels neglected which is abusive. Maybe he gets angry about her spending all the money and going out with her friends all the time, which is controlling and abusive. Whatever excuse she needs, it’s his fault. Not that she necessarily really wants to be publicly badmouthing the guy - she just doesn’t want to have sex with him.
It doesn’t matter if she’s religious. Her man might have some dumb outdated religious idea like wives are supposed to have sex with their husbands on a regular, frequent, recurring basis because that is inherent in the role of husband and wife. Meanwhile, she counters with the much more more accepted and modern religious idea: sex is sinful, lusting after your wife is sinful and porn-brained, and the real purpose of marraige is for him to be a “servant-leader” - or whatever the current word is - who cherishes and takes care of her and the children because that is his role, his place, and his duty. And him wanting to have sex as something related to his role as husband is proof of his unworthiness and how he doesn’t really love her, only his own selfish wants. And how dare he try to use religion to oppress her!
It doesn’t matter what she’s done with who in the past. Or if she’s cheated or is cheating on him. Or if she’s duping him for another guy. She doesn’t want to have sex with him, and if she’s in a position with him where he’s in a role where sex would be expected, she’s got every excuse prepared for why she’s not going to and it’s his fault.
While I’ve used edgy language to invoke emotion and bias in you, the reader(s), the dozen-or-so paragraphs above aren’t really prescriptive. They’re not a call to action against women. I’m not planning some kind of revolution to force women to change and have sex they don’t want to have. The above paragraphs are descriptive. How things are.
If she wants to have sex with a guy, she will move heaven and earth to make that possible, hide what she needs to, show what she needs to, and will have every excuse under the sun for why it was right for her to do it, no matter who the guy was, what her friends or family may think, whether she’s religious, or who she’s cheating on or dumping to do it.
If she doesn’t want to have sex with a guy she’s arguably “supposed to”, she will move heaven and earth to make it impossible, hide what she needs to, show what she needs to, and will have every excuse under the sun for why it is right for her not to do it, no matter who the guy is, what her friends or family may think, whether she’s religious, or what she’s done in the past (or present) with who.
One thing these women are right about is that at least some of the time, it really is the man’s fault.
Over time, men in relationships and marriages tend to let their appearance go and get a little lazy about it. Plus, we just plain get older, which comes with less hair, grayer hair, less muscle mass, more fat, more wrinkles. Additionally, time and familiarity breed contempt. Even if you magically don’t change at all, each passing day she’s just the tiniest bit more bored with you. If she experiences some changes in her own life, like getting in better shape, a new job, a new opportunity with another guy, that accelerates how bored, trapped, and irritated she feels as her mind begins to rewrite history so that she’s been unhappy for months and you were always the wrong guy.
Internet men: If you choose to date a woman, or God forbid even get married, the onus is on you to stay fit, stay socially and professionally successful, stay active with useful skills and interesting hobbies, and keep things just the slightest bit selfish - the slightest bit uncomfortable for the woman - rather than being boring, pleasing, and unchallenging as you accommodate her whims as though you’re afraid to piss her off or lose her.
Some of the time, it’s not the man’s fault.
The man doesn’t always get uglier or more negligent toward her or start acting like a dufus. She just… is done. It ran its course. All relationships are temporary. If humans lived 1000 years, the divorce rate would be 100%. While you can sometimes slow the decline by staying hot, successful, and not being too much of a doormat, and if you really time things well, maybe you can even die of old age before you get dumped, nothing is eternal when it comes to women.
Internet men: If you choose to date a woman, or God forbid even get married, the onus is on you to remember that all relationships are temporary. It is always just your turn. Be prepared for the eventual end. You don’t have to actively act out like an idiot and make it happen, but don’t be caught in a situation where your life is suddenly destroyed because you got complacent and thought you had longer. Maybe even let yourself think you had forever. You might get to die first before you get dumped, if you’re one of the lucky ones, but don’t rush into that either.
The excuses women make to be with us, or to spurn us, are neither good nor evil. They just are. They are information. They tell us where we stand with that woman.
If the news is good, enjoy the sex! Just remember it’s only your turn, and you still have to stay hot, successful and interesting.
If the news is bad, Maybe it’s on us for being unattractive. Maybe it’s on her for getting bored while we’re still awesome. Maybe it’s a little of both.
Have fun out there, internet men!
