A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, on this absolute dumpster-fire of a social media platform called Reddit, I pissed some words out of my keyboard over my lunch break one day that some manosphere fellows are still quoting today.
Actually, more than one of my collections of keyboard strokes are still quoted today, but the one I wanted to type about right now went something like: “Assume she’s a slut, but don’t obsess.”
I should probably post a link, but I’m doing all of the leg work typing this, so you can meet me halfway and look it up on Reddit on your own if you really care.
There were a few ideas wrapped up in that rather lengthy essay, but the one that resonated most with guys was actually one of the less-interesting ideas for me: Women lie about their sexual histories, so don’t bother asking because it makes you look silly like you don’t know the game. Just assume she’s a slut, and don’t worry about it. If she’s a non-slut and wants you to know, it’s on her to prove it, not on you to assume it and catch her in a lie months later.
Ideas like this are fun because they make men feel things - anger, superiority, and validation among them. People like content that makes them feel emotion and validates them.
But it’s 2024 today, and even back in the early 2010s decade, the modern dating culture was in full swing. So when we “assume she’s a slut”, what is it exactly that we are assuming?
We’re assuming that every girl we’re on a date with, in a relationship with, or have married has most likely done one or more of:
had premarital sex (the horror!)
had sex while dating but not in an understood exclusive relationship
had sex with the specific understanding that it was causal sex and a future relationship was unlikely at best
But… it’s 2024. We’re reasonably smart guys who live in the real world, as part of a society and culture with various norms. And we know that. And being smart guys, we have some inkling of what the real world and the culture in which we live is like.
Sure, maybe some people don’t like the modern sociocultural norms. Maybe they’re extremely religious. Maybe they have some personal hang-ups about sex. Or maybe they’re just sexually inexperienced and have trouble finding willing partners, don’t like other people having sex when they aren’t or can’t, and want to think they’re somehow morally superior.
But here in the real world under our modern sociocultural norms, those assumptions we’re making about a girl and her sexual history are perfectly normal behaviors. Adults who go on adult dates with other adults often have adult sex after their adult dates, if they had a good time and like the other person. This is a perfectly normal, average, understood social convention that the majority of people do not see as deviant behavior.
So when we “assume she’s a slut”, as though she is some kind of deviant who is maliciously hiding her past from us lest we find out what a horrible person she is, that’s actually pretty off-base. The instruction is “assume she’s normal”.
If you think about it, that’s a fairly foundational idea when it comes to The Red Pill. Learn what normal is, then learn and understand and accept that women are normal. Not angels and princesses. Note vile slutty cheating divorce-raping deviant gold-digging whores. Normal. Don’t erect a pedestal and put them on it. Don’t dig a hole and put them there. (What a creepy metaphor. What’s wrong with me?) Just stand on the ground next to these fellow humans and… act normal and see what happens.
After all, some might say that The Red Pill is the radical idea that women are human.
One idea I find far more interesting than the idea that women, being humans and all, lie to make themselves look better, was the idea of the purity pedestal. Many men have this notion that sex ruins or changes women. That pre-sex, a woman might have been an excellent woman who would have made an excellent girlfriend and future wife, but after having sex, she was ruined and changed into a bad woman who now acts in her own self-interest instead of being a submissive, subservient partner to some average man that she’s grateful to have. But if only she’d never had that sex, she would have been such a grateful wife to an average dude, for sure!
For some reason, some men believe that pre-sex, a woman is no longer human, but is special, which runs contrary another fun radical Red Pill idea: Women are not special. In fact, they’re all pretty similar in many respects, replaceable in many respects, even interchangeable in some cases.
These men have their cause and effect mixed up. Sex does not turn a woman from an angelic princess atop a tall pedestal into a self-interested human. Sex is something a woman who is already a self-interested human and was never an angelic princess does because it is normal for human adults to have adult sex, and normal for self-interested humans to seek enjoyment and connection. And… all women are like that — all women are self-interested humans. There were never any angelic princesses out there.
You were, and continue to be, correct to assume she’s a slut (e.g., assume she’s normal) and not obsess about it.
We don’t have to like the society and culture we live in. Many don’t. But as smart guys who live in the real world and understand what the real world is like, we can act accordingly and set some of that sex-free-princess-on-a-pedestal ideology that never served us very well aside.
