Don’t trust any woman over 30

Yesterday, Mark Richardson posted on a Daily Mail article in which a 34-year old skank writes in to sex advice columnist (all of whom will be up against the wall when the revolution comes) Rowan Pelling asking how she should go about telling her beta lover that she’s had forty (!) pants pistons pumping in her lady-hole:

I’ve been with my boyfriend for six months, we’re both 34 and I am fairly sure he’s The One. The other night we ended up having a conversation about how many lovers we’d had. He told me he had slept with eight women and suddenly I felt nervous about confessing the truth  -  I had a lot of flings at university and in my first job at an ad agency, so my tally is closer to 40. But I found myself saying ten and even then he looked horrified. I hate being untruthful with him, but don’t want to be judged either. What should I do?

So, this slag thinks her boyfriend is “the One,” yet when it comes to a fundamental aspect of her being – the number of dudes she’s had sex with – she has no problem lying to his face? This could be the beginning of a horrible relationship! Given that sluttiness reduces a woman’s sexual market value, it doesn’t surprise me that this whore can’t bring herself to tell the truth, but what does our “sex advice columnist” tell her to do? You’ve got one hundred guesses, and the first ninety-nine don’t count:

I have to say that if this man is so censorious and delicate that he crumples when faced with a 34-year-old unmarried career woman who confesses to ten lovers, then he’d better take the Tardis back to 1900.

A man being upset that his prospective wife has ridden the merry-go-round of man-meat is, of course, mentally ill according to this psycho. Men have very good reasons for expecting the mothers of their children to be chaste. The more dicks a woman has been banged by, the less likely she’ll be satisfied by any particular one. As the number of he-rockets ravaging her she-pocket increases, her ability to bond with a man is accordingly decreased. That, and we have to take into consideration that this woman is 34. She’s passed her sell-by date, and the only reason she’s settling for this poor schmuck is because the alphas whom she truly lusts after have wisely tossed her aside in favor of PYTs. Who wants to bet that less than a month after this cockoholic says “I do,” she’ll be having her pleasure place savaged by some douchebag she met on Ashley Madison?

When even the leader of one of Britain’s major political parties, Nick ‘Clegg-over’, can coyly admit to ‘no more than 30 lovers’ in GQ magazine (and he has been with his wife, Miriam, some years now, so one presumes the majority of those conquests happened, like yours, at university), surely the rest of us can admit to some youthful indiscretions.

“SOME youthful indiscretions?” Having one or two one-night stands is “youthful indiscretions.” Having forty penises in your vagina is full-blown nymphomania.

To be honest, if your man really loves you he should be able to take the full tally with equanimity. But then that would presume that he’s secure in his own skin and, as we all know, a great many people aren’t. What you perceive as censure may well be old-fashioned male insecurity.

What the average sex columnist knows about sexuality, I could fit into a thimble with room to spare. Given the nature of reproduction, men are reliant on the good will of women in regards to discerning paternity. It’s only logical that a slut is more likely than a virgin to cheat and stick her oblivious hubby with some other dude’s kid. Since cuckoldry harms men, it follows that they would be averse to women who are likely to do it to them. People knew this for millennia. Why ancient truths have to be relearned by modern morons is beyond me.

Your boyfriend may feel daunted at the prospect of you being more sexually experienced than him and may also worry that you will compare him unfavourably with previous lovers.

Pelling, there’s a word for women like you, but it isn’t used in polite society, outside of pseudonymously written internet blogs – cunt. This concept of “sexual experience” is the biggest crock of bullshit that sluts and slut-sympathizers push, and I refuse to entertain it. There is no sexual move or technique that requires a woman to hop on top of more than three dozen dicks in order to master – NONE. There are techniques that women do need practice to perfect, such as the sacred art of giving head, but there’s nothing about blowjobs that requires a female to jump from dude to dude. Ladies, if you want to learn how to orally please men without tanking your sexual market value in the process, you can practice on dildos and phallic-shaped vegetables. Even better, if you have a man in your life, ask him how to go down and he will gladly help you. But don’t go around town sucking down cum like an alcoholic sucks down vodka and then try to justify your poor impulse control with the excuse of “sexual experience” – we guys see right through you.

There’s still a lingering machismo in society that dictates men should be more sexually sophisticated than women.

It has nothing to do with “machismo” (a concept you clearly don’t understand), but the simple desire that every man has to be confident that his kids are his.

And women are conspiratorial in this scenario, as few of us want to feel like über-madam Cynthia Payne breaking in a timid punter.

They’re “conspiratorial” because they know, deep in their black hearts, that men would not commit to them if they knew the truth.

It’s glorious to be seduced by a man confident enough to show a little mastery in the bedroom  -  however, there’s no prerequisite that the bloke in question should have had scores of lovers. Nevertheless, in order to generate this kind of sexual charisma, men often exaggerate the number of women they have slept with, while women are inclined to leave a few dismal lays off their list.

If women didn’t reward male promiscuity, men would not be promiscuous. It’s really that simple.

Meanwhile, a close female friend is given to describing herself to any new beau as a virgin (she’s 36). When the poor man looks at her in utter disbelief, she says: ‘I have no recollection of a love life before you. Time starts now.’

Whenever you encounter a woman who talks like that, you should write her off immediately. She’s playing you for a sucker. Nail, bail, and don’t forget to double-bag it.

If your chap is insecure about your tally, can’t you reassure him that those early flings were shallow, unsatisfactory and didn’t have the depth and erotic fulfilment of your own earth-shattering encounters?

All of the shaming tactics in the world are not going to make marriage-minded men any less slut-averse.

In this age, where sex often seems like just another consumer commodity, with numerous opportunities for instant gratification and seemingly infinite choices of partner, most of us need some reassurance that discretion has been at play when we are chosen by our partner. And if your man is a little prudish, surely it’s best to air this seismic difference in your sexual mores, lest it causes strife later?

Yes, I agree that it is “best to air this seismic difference,” so that this unsuspecting beta can dump your diseased tucus before the anti-male marriage system strips him of his human rights.

And if a man is unwise enough to ask a woman how many lovers she’s had, can I suggest the following response: ‘Let’s just say I won’t wear white at the wedding.’

The wedding’s off, bitch. The most commitment you’re going to wring out of me is a ten-minute romp in the pub men’s loo.

Oh, but the fun doesn’t stop there, no sirree! The comment section is full of deluded manginas and yentas clamoring in support of Pelling:

I’ll tell you I would NOT want a woman of 34 who hadn’t played and know what she wants! The idea of finding someone at that age who didn’t know that aspect of herself would be too strange.

So, yes I like women to be experienced. Experienced enough so that we can grow together that way as well as others. If she is honest about her past and me about mine, then if I please her I can believe her if she’s also told me about her good times in the past as well as not so good.

Here’s another comment from the same idiot, “happyhal” of Dallas, Texas:

I would never be with a woman who was not completely honest with me. BUT I understand that there is a bad double standard. And that women get unfairly judged. But that being said I still want Truthful honesty. When guys are young we are insecure and the comment Barry made is true. How good can I be a guy wonders.

However as we age, a womens GENUINE sexuality is very much of a turn on…it is very attractive to see a women who is honestly sexual and senual. AND a womans’ past sexual life can be a VERY big TURNON. I would NOT want to be with a woman who is inexperienced and did not have past partners….hopefully more than 2. I know it sounds odd perhaps but 40 men in her past is a turnon.

We are sexual beings and a truthful honest sharing is what builds an interesting and longterm relationship. I am in my late 40’s so maybe it’s an age thing. Anyway Gals keep being sexual (But SAFELY).

I pray that you catch syphilis from your “experienced woman” before you can bequeath your terminal stupidity to the next generation.

Well, let him then. If a relationship has to be considered defined by sleeping with your boyfriend, then that relationship is not worth it. Women should never be pressured to get into sex too soon – besides, men like it when a woman doesn’t drop her pants at the earliest opportunity!

Makes a man feel she is worth waiting for.

The amount of time a man is willing to wait for a woman is dependent on her age and beauty. A 34-year old who plays this game will be going home to an empty bed night after night.

Some men just get a lot of rejection in their twenties. No one should be surprised if when they get to their thirties they are ‘insecure’ or ‘immature’. If the woman chooses to have 40 lovers that is her choice. If the man decides he does not fell comfortable in a relationship with her then that is his choice.

Choices have consequences. Having had forty dudes tear up your loins will not endear you to marriage-minded men. Get used to feeding those cats.

This is all about Male insecurity from which all men suffer with at the start of a relationship. My wife had slept with 7 versus my 5 prior to meeting each other. Even though she was young and insecure in the bedroom, I still wanted to know who, where and how, then I tortured myself thinking they bigger/better than me.

We are now in our thirties and have come a long, long way since those days. I’m 100% secure and my wife has shed her inhibitions. Her number has grown to 12 (soon to be 13) as we experiment with an alternate lifestyle (which we both love) and our sex life is fantastic.

My point is, its all in a man’s head. We are programmed to want an unspoiled wife who is also a slut you cannot have both. Unspoiled = Uptight.

My advice is to this young lady is to conceal the real truth, protect his ego but let him enjoy the experience and confidence she has gained throughout the years ON A REGULAR BASIS. Do this and you will both be very happy together.

Funny how this empty-sacked tool mentioned his wife’s number but neglected to give his own. Paging Cuckoldry Fetishists Anonymous! As for the impossibility of having a slutty yet virginal wife, the Christian Nymphos would disagree with you.

I just wouldn’t ask. It’s none of my business, just as how many I slept with is none of her business. It’s the relationship we have now that counts. If we are both comfortable to sleep together, so be it. If I can keep her satisfied, and she can keep me happy, that’s good enough. If I’m failing, I’d hope she could suggest a few things she “read” about in a magazine (although she actually experienced it).
As long as we are both clean and healthy, it’s no-one else’s business.

(After my divorce, I learned that my wife was the local “bike” before I met her, but she remained faithful for 16 years before we divorced)

If you had bothered to ask before you got down on one knee, you would have saved yourself sixteen years of lies and torture, you FUCKING RETARD.

Thirtysomething single men, the next time you contemplate giving up your freedom to settle down with one of your same-aged lady compadres, remember this post. You may think you’re getting a deal, but you’re just setting yourself up to get screwed over. The vagina cartel is engaged in a massive shell game to get men to buy worthless merchandise – thirtysomething single women who masquerade as brand-new, but in fact have been worn out so much that they have cigarette burns on the leather seats. No matter how many layers of gold paint you put on a turd, it’s still a piece of shit. If you absolutely must get married, I suggest limiting yourself to under-25 women, who are both hotter and can still bond with you, as well as expatriating to Eastern Europe, Latin America or any other sector of the world where women are still women and not ball-busting, clit-dicked, mean-mouthed harridans.

And before the usual suspects start with the whiny refrain, “not ALL women are like that,” let me state that not all women have to be lying sluts for men to steer clear of them. Much like how introducing a critical mass of lead coins into circulation with gold coins will devalue currency, a critical mass of women who slut it up and lie about it to their men will encourage men to avoid them like dysentery. It only takes a few wormy apples for people to toss the basket aside.