Open thread: dominance and women

HughRistik of Feminist Critics left these comments on Saturday:

“Auster also seems to have forgotten God’s curse on Eve: “your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” Far from enjoying a higher position in the world, women enjoy one of subordination to men. The very reason why game works on women is because God ordained that part of the curse on the entire gender through Eve would be domination by men.”

Interesting perspective, but does this quote bother anyone else?

I want to sleep with attractive women, connect with women, and have relationships with some of those women. Dominance in the bedroom is all well and good, but don’t want to rule women outside the bedroom. That sounds like far too much work, and I have better things to do with my time and energy.

Furthermore, for an actual relationship partner, I do NOT want someone to rule over. I’m very individualistic and I admire women who are, also. I want a woman who is her own person.

In terms of practicality, leading is virtually always required, and often some level of sexual dominance in the bedroom. Yet I don’t consider a relationship characterized as me “ruling over” a woman in general as either necessary or desirable. I do grant that due to the nature of some women’s desires, a relationship of equality might not be possible with them, but I don’t know how typical that tendency is.

When I was growing up, the message drummed into my head was that men and women should be “equal” in relationships. Of course, the feminist notion of equality (where women are liberated from their gender roles and leverage sexual power over men, but men are not and must repress their sexuality), turned out to be bunk. Yet I still like the idea of a relationship with a woman who is my equal (in a general sense of the distribution of power and respect).

Perhaps I’m just projecting from my personality, but I’m skeptical that men in general particularly want to dominate women, contrary to what feminists claim. Men want women who are hot and have pleasant personalities, but ruling women? I’m not convinced.

I’m suspicious of expectations that men “rule” over women, whether they come from religious sources, or from women themselves, and I wonder whether such expectations are really in men’s best interests.

Oh, and one more thing: One reason that I like what is called “game” here is not that it gives me dominance over women, but because it is the way (at least, the way I practice it) to get the best approximation of equality in sexual interactions between men and women.

This gets to something I’ve wanted to discuss: the role of dominance in game and relations with women. I’ve held that dominance is the natural outcome of good game, the result of taking its principles to heart. People frequently confuse being dominant with being controlling – the two are not the same in my opinion. Being controlling is an active process, and is the tool of a weak man. Dominant individuals don’t consciously act to control others – people are drawn to them by the force of their personalities.

I’m not the only one who holds that women want dominant men. Roissy took his pseudonym from the chateau in Story of O, which he explained as follows:

but roissy is not about torture or sadomasochism, except inasmuch as it serves the metaphorical purpose to illuminate how even outwardly successful, powerful, intelligent women yearn to be dominated by strong men. and that this dominance, personified by the classic jerk sir stephen, is the key to unlocking a woman’s uncompromised love.

a peek behind the crimson curtains at roissy is a peek inside a woman’s head and what truly turns her on.

Additionally, Aoefe argued at Girl Game that women are naturally submissive:

I believe the desire for a woman to be submissive to her man is innate, plus I believe women are wired to be submissive to proper authority in general.    Submissive, as I see it, is described as agreement, respect, duty, or deference.  I don’t personally view it as meek, passive or tameness.   I believe submissiveness is a feminine trait and I believe women have lost touch with this inborn need.

I’d like to get the commentariat’s view on this. Are men supposed to dominate women? Do women want to be dominated? What constitutes dominance in regards to game? The floor is yours once more.

PROGRAMMING NOTE: I have a report that will be published this afternoon at The Spearhead. Stay tuned.