Military Wife Selection Is Serious

Reader:  I sent this to Vox at Alpha game as well….Hi I’m needing some advice about what to do about my girlfriend and you seem to be the best option at the moment. I’m 19 she’s 20 and we’ve been dating on and off for 3 years now. Her grandmother( who she trusts the most)  has had at least 3 divorces and her mom is probably bipolar. I’ve been the one to call things off with her the times that we did split up. I called things off with her because she became increasingly disrespectful and mocking as the relationship progressed. I would get sick of it and break it off with her. My gf and I are once again in a simliar position and right now shes pushing me to marry her in spite of the fact that I cannot find work and am probably joining the Air Force for work. With all her family history and the state of the family court system im more than a little hesitant. We’re both virgins although shes had a lot of highschool boyfriends, some who have come back through the woodwork to cause issues.

Athol:  Short answer…. Oh hell no!

Longer answer…. Alarm surprise statement extreme negatory. Suggest alternate course action improved probability positive outcome. Recommend deploy escape route transversing asteroid field.

Vox said exactly the same thing I did, but with less of a cool geeky style. (You’re welcome ladies!)

Look… you have to have positive reasons to get married, not concerns about why you shouldn’t. I think the scorecard is about 0-8 on that count.

And not for nothing, you really want to be especially careful on the issue of wife choice should you ever intend to join a military service. The divorce, infidelity and non-paternity risks are higher with military marriages than civilian ones. Unless you start off with a great woman, you should simply expect serious difficulties down the line.

Even with a great woman you’re going to have some long periods of walking uphill. There’s the obvious strain of deployments, uprooting constantly, and essentially what amounts to a difficult day to day family life. There’s going to be things that you’re just going to miss out on when you’re away. Your kid walking for the first time and stuff like that. There’s no way to buy those moments back.

Unless she’s actively saying that she’s down to be a military wife, and she actually has a genuine concept of what that means, I’ll bet it all comes to tears for you in the end if you marry her. It’s a job for her as much as it is for you.

Jennifer:  Three years long distance before we married was enough for me. I couldn’t imagine Athol having to go away for a year at random being at all fun. I have a ton of respect and appreciation for those military spouses who do make it work and for those who serve in the military, but these two particular people really don’t seem to be good candidates for making it work together.

Athol:  So did you find yourself snorting at the line that they were both virgins?

Jennifer:  Yeah she’s not. Not even close.

Athol:  Something something something dark side….. you have been well trained my apprentice…

Jennifer:  Shoot me now.