Jennifer had a mammogram a week ago. Having been through two false alarm / benign biopsy experiences, I really don’t react with back-flips of joy when she has to have a mammogram. Asked if she wanted me to come, said she’s be fine, nothing I would be able to really do/see anyway. It’s just a mammogram.
So I timed my gym for the day with her mammogram and just pedalled particularly fast. When I was done, she was done. The Tech said it all looked fine but would be seen by a Radiologist for follow up. Great, that’s over, and we went out for lunch.
Except the Radiologist didn’t like the look of something, and she went back today for another mammogram.
This time I went. There was nothing I really got to do or see other than sitting in the waiting room. I read a book for fifteen minutes and she was back out again. Once again the Tech said it all just looks like the same calcification’s they’ve seen before, nothing to worry about. Obviously all gets to be seen by a Radiologist and follow up blah blah blah.
Great, that’s over, and we went out for lunch.
Look I know… second worse case scenario if it’s really bad they will catch something early and I think Jennifer would just say, let’s just be done with it and go the double mastectomy and reconstruction route. Lots of pain and recovery, but 6-12 months later life would be back to normal with a justifiable boob job added to the mix.
Really worst case scenario there’s a horrible slow death from cancer. I’d stay with her to the end and get through it and be strong and all that. I know I would. Being an attention whore I’d write about it and eventually find someone new. I’d be okay.
I think it was ten years ago we had the first breast cancer stare… as in idiots mailed the mammogram report to our house that said MALIGNANT. Jennifer was a bawling wreck for nights on end and I was a mess too, I just was full on coping with her being a wreck that I couldn’t really do anything. I was simply terrified she was going to die and leave me all alone with two little girls.
Anyway, we’ve grown. If it’s malignant, we just move forward and face what comes. I think Jennifer almost thinks of that first wrong diagnosis as a semi-near death experience… after that, in terms of health she’ll cope with whatever. For myself, no matter the outcome I’ll be okay. Either she’ll be totally fine, I’ll end up with a wife with a justifiable boob job, or I’ll find someone new.
So I’ll be fine.
Fine.
Just fine.
Totally fine.
Fuck.
“Oh no, not again” reference… (Geeks only!)
EDIT: Same benign things they’re seen before. Repeat mammogram in six months.
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