Okay you gotta watch the video first.
For those that don’t follow The Big Bang Theory, Amy and Sheldon are girlfriend/boyfriend, with Amy vastly more interested in Sheldon than the other way around.
In this episode Sheldon has deigned to give Amy a little extra attention when she’s been sick, so her illness has taken rather longer than expected to improve…
My first thought is even though it’s a comedy, it’s been quite sometime since I can remember a male-spanks-female scene on TV. I remember some I Love Lucy episodes where that happened. Maybe some have happened since then, but it’s quite remarkable that one of the main networks aired it.
What you’re looking at is the Fifty Shades of Grey effect. Those books have sold so incredibly well, that male-dominates-female-and-its-hot is now getting targeted as a market that will turn a profit. Twilight kinda sorta influenced it, but Fifty Shades of Grey has pushed male sexual dominance into the mainstream. There will be a lot more of this coming in the near future I can assure you.
Feminists are going to cry, but the Amy’s of the world won’t listen. The happy moist vagina being preferable to a sad dry one.
Anyway…
Let’s talk about erotic spanking and discipline spanking.
Erotic spankings are done for the sexual/emotional turn on. It’s an intense experience and that intensity can easily transfer into erotic potential. It may make no logical sense to the woman why being spanked turns her on, but for many (not all), “I don’t know, it just does”.
As an aside, I can explain why it does work, but it’s a lot like finding out how hotdogs are made. Once you find out, you generally no longer want to eat a hotdog, and are a little mad at the person that explained it all to you. Ignorance is bliss, I mean you don’t really want to find out that spanking is so tasty because it’s packed with the sexual equivalent of pig snouts. Just eat your hotdog.
Discipline spankings are tied to negative behavior. The spankee does something wrong, bad, half-ass and the spanker dishes out a punishment to correct the behavior. Or put another way, it’s exactly the same logic as a parent would discipline a child by spanking.
My feeling is that women are only going to consent to any spanking, if they like/want it. Otherwise it’s just some guy hitting you, which they really don’t want. This means essentially all spankings default to being erotic spankings… even if they are done ostensibly as discipline spankings. As you can see in the case of Sheldon and Amy, any hope of Amy behaving better in the future is going to backfire. She likes the spanking. So she’ll keep being bad to get what she wants.
So my advice if you want to actually use discipline spanking, is to tie it to good behavior on the part of the spankee. It’s a reward, so they’ll work for it. If they fail to reach whatever the positive behavior goal is, they lose the special attention from their lover that they crave… a much worse negative than a sore bottom.
If you want to skip some of the mind games and just have an erotic spanking, cool. Just ask for it, or allow it to happen as basic kink / foreplay / lovemaking. It’s not wildly different to hairpulling or whatever. It’s simply an intense stimulation between consenting adults.
The way spanking really works to turn women on, is by tapping into the true physical power differential between a man and a woman. In a straight up physical fight between a man and a woman, the man will always have a major advantage. For example I’m a foot taller than Jennifer, out weigh her by about 80 pounds, have a longer reach and pound for pound am significantly stronger than her. I always have a constantly rolling dominance effect, simply by my size and strength. Quite obviously I don’t hit / shove / pinch / bite / punch / kick her in daily life, because she would call 911 on me and that would be that. But things like hairpulling, neck holding and spanking during sex tap into the erotic potential from my physical dominance.
It’s not something either of us expected we would ever do in bed when we married, but in moderate amounts it works for us. Erotic physical dominance is in essence, sexual playfighting.
And because people will ask… Jennifer and I don’t do discipline spankings. We had spanked the girls once in a while when they were little, but generally found rewarding good behavior and reducing attention to negative behavior got faster and better results.
All that being said, I do know people who practise discipline spanking for negative behavior and they say it works out really well for them. I do understand why and how it works, but there are some rather dark impulses at work here. There’s no assurance that once tried it’s going to be a good experience, or one that’s easily forgotten. I would urge extreme caution and communication before discipline spanking for negative behavior. Or at the very least, trying erotic spanking for a while and see how far that gets you first.
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