The Basics Of Asking Someone Out

Overheard in the lunch room at the office a few of the women voicing complaints about generally okay guys asking them out to lunch / coffee / whatever, but trying to be polite and not get involved and ending up in a creepy lunch experience. Considering that most women do in fact like to eat lunch, I’m pretty much assuming the creepiness factor is the issue. I don’t really focus on pick up skills, I’m pretty much assuming being married you can ask your wife out to lunch without being weird about it, but anyway for the guys looking for dates out there here’s some solutions to being blown out on asking for lunch dates.

False Time Constraint: “I can’t stay for long though, I have a meeting / report due / call / thing I have to do in 30 minutes”. That means you aren’t going to stay locked in laser beam focus on them for an unknown length of time.

Deny Interest In Them: “Now if we have lunch, you have to promise not to hit on me,  I’m Married / Engaged / in a LTR / am trying to cut down to just one special girl right now”.

Don’t Offer To Pay For Lunch: That kicks in the ASD (Anti Slut Defense) where she feels leverage being used against her to buy sexual favors. Even if she agrees to let you pay she’ll be scanning the menu for something that says “handjob” rather than something she actually wants to eat. You won’t get that handjob either. (Incidentally for the women reading, Chicken Caesar Salad is the default handjob menu choice, Lobster means you have to go all the way. Everyone knows by now that Sushi = Oral Sex and Baby Back Ribs means you are a nasty nasty girl and I’m embarassed to be so aroused by you.)

That’s the basics for getting your foot in the door. Don’t be needy or creepy.

Incidentally I did ask Jennifer out for coffee today. In one of our rare days of both of us being at the main office, it got to be around 2pm and I did the standard MGHOW (Man Going His Own Way) invitation. “I’m going for coffee, want to come?” Then either way she answers, I go get coffee. It’s not “Would you like to go get coffee?” because then she has to make a decision to leave or not, whereas the MGHOW invitation is making her make a decision on whether or not to be left behind. And if you start turning your body away and start moving to the door you’re taking away something and people tend to latch on to things being taken away from them.

So anyway, she came with me. Of course it’s no big deal if she didn’t come, it’s just coffee.