The Copulatory Gaze

Reader:  1) How do I overcome my wife’s so-called cum aversion?

2) I find I’m much bolder over email when asking for exactly what I want than I am in person, any advice on that?

3) In the book you say to act indifferent when shot down for sex.  Isn’t that kind of playing the nice guy card consistently?  (speaking in prisoner’s dilemma terms)?

I got shot down this morning, I went in and told her I wanted to bend her over the sink as she was getting ready for work.  She said she didn’t want to be sticky with cum all day.  So then I find myself sitting here writing her an email that I want to cum on her tits tonight (didn’t send it thought it better to write this to you instead).  I have a lot of trouble with saying that to her face.  Obviously I am a natural beta (or at least society has beaten me into one).

Any advice would be appreciated.

Athol:  If you want morning sex, you have to get to it before she has a shower / starts getting ready for work. What she really means when she says she doesn’t want to be all sticky with cum all day is… “She really doesn’t want to be sticky with cum all day.”  The cum would slowly run back out of her through the morning and that would make her have to wear a pad or something. Basically it all amounts to “Do not want.” for the same reasons you wouldn’t want to blow a load into your underwear and then wear the underwear all day.  Jennifer: YES!  It’s really a practical thing…if he approaches me pre-shower, game on.  Post-shower it’s going to be a sticky day, which can be awkward at work…

Now if you can fuck her so well the night before that she still has some residual oozing out of her the next morning, that’s perfectly fine. That’s a turn on for her because it forces her to remember just how good you were.

I tend not to try morning sex on Jennifer during the week, but I do hit on her in the morning. If she’s bending over the sink putting on make up, she’s an easy target for feeling her up a little, or softly grinding on her ass, but not actually trying to convert to having sex right then. Also because I’m not trying to convert to sex right before she goes to work, she can relax and enjoy being felt up and played with. A Saturday or Sunday morning is a different story as there’s actual possibility to get it on. Usually it’s cuddling in spoons and lightly glazing her ass with pre-cum as my main tactic of stating intentions.

There’s also very typically a point where she turns and gives me a direct eye contact look waiting on my decision to actually tell her I want sex. She does this when she’s reached her most interested point in having sex herself. The look is a non-verbal, “So are you going to ask me for sex or not?”   The same thing can happen with other female questions, “So are you going to ask me out or not?” “So are you going to kiss me or not?”  She will stop what she is doing, look directly at you and  give you her full attention, say nothing, and wait for a few seconds while she holds eye contact. Watch for it and immediately make your move. That’s your window of opportunity.

In terms of acting indifferent to her refusals, no it’s not the Nice Guy card. The Nice Guy card tends to escalate the being nice trying even harder to convince her to give up the pussy to him. The Nice Guys become more needy and supplicating. Walking away and being cool about it is the opposite of that. If you act like she has a Kryptonite vagina, then she has power over you. If you act unaffected by the refusal, the vagina loses it’s power to control you.

After endless persistent refusals of course, you can start the consideration of getting your needs met by other vaginas. But if you’re averaging sex 2-4 times a week, her declining on Tuesday isn’t a big deal if you have a good likelihood of sex on Wednesday. Throwing a fit on Tuesday though, means Wednesday is less likely to happen.

There’s no good solution to the in-person shyness thing with her. Just keep asking for what you want. Texting is great for stating intentions too. Once you ask for something via text, never take it back if she doesn’t immediately respond to you. Just be patient. Never apologize for wanting to have sex with your wife.

So be playfully engaging constantly, but when she makes deep eye contact… make a move.