This reader is single, but it’s a great question.

Reader:  I’ve had a hot streak lately and enjoyed the sexual acquaintance of a girl or two. Swell, but an issue I’m running into is a woman asking in flagrante, “what do you like?”

On occasion I’ll thunder “grab my ass” or simply move her into a new position. Sometimes I answer in baritone, “I like making you horny.”

But overall I don’t really have a good “oh GOD please do that” list in my head. I’m a meat and asparagus kind of guy, I like heavy P-in-V sex, the prone cowgirl position and making a woman orgasm. Much of my sexual diversity is in the foreplay/runup: massaging, hair pulling, licking/biting, tying her to the bed. I know plenty of things to do to her, but I’m a bit thin on what I can have done to me. I took pretty well to a dominant sexual oeuvre once I learned about it, so I’m wondering if I just need a shot of ideas – where can I find some?

On a related note, I came to realize a little while back that this sort of exchange is the exact same paradigm as the “what do you want for dinner” issue that drives women out of their minds. This is a woman asking me to be in charge, in fact submitting to me in wanting to please me. If I flake on the opportunity I’m depriving them of what they want to do, which is whatever I want to do (within reason, obviously).

Athol:  Hiya, you have the dynamic that’s happening completely right. They are asking for a way to please you and it probably doesn’t matter what you ask them to do for you, just as long as you ask them to do something. So you may as well ask them to do something you like.

There’s probably a ton of books out there about “How To Make Love To Your Man So His Toes Curl Up And He Ejaculates Three Yards.”  Maybe some of them have ideas for you.

Also if you’re normal P-in-V type, you might like being edged. Have her do stuff to you to get you very near orgasm several times during the session. The easy way to do that is to switch off between getting her off and edging you close, then rinse and repeat. Once you’ve had that happen a couple rounds, I can assure you the final time where you orgasm is intense. Plus you can go really over the top with the full Manbearpig-sexual-force-of-nature finishing move.

Seriously, go Manbearpig on her…

… if she’s into you, she wants you to turn into a hormone driven animal on top of her, just on the edge of out of control. You creature of the night you. She wants to be the moon and you to be the werewolf.

Or you can always go the easy route and have her call you “Sir.” Or whatever way you prefer her to verbalize that she is submitting to you. That way the vanilla P-in-V you like continues, you add the requirement/request she admit to liking being dominated sexually by you.

Jennifer:  I finished editing your post sir….  :-)

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