I am sure by now you have all watched the movie “The Wolf of Wall Street.” If you haven’t seen it, it’s one of the funniest true stories ever told—an amazing and eye-opening testament to the accomplishments and failures of one man, Jordan Belfort. Most films can’t hold my attention on the first run through, and never merit another glance, but in this case, many more subtle aspects of the story struck me on a second viewing.
Most people would write off Mr. Belfort as a mindless, greedy, drug- and sex-addicted con artist with borderline personality disorder that deserved every day he spent in jail. However, taking the red pill opens the mind to multiple alternatives. In addition, having watched the most excellent Straight Line Persuasion seminars that Jordan has released subsequent to his jail term (they retail for $2000 but I am sure you can purloin a copy if you are smart), I see his adventures in a whole new light.
The Incredible Power Of Game
Jordan used game for selling purposes rather than sex, but the same rules apply. There is nothing new about game and most of the PUA techniques were developed by salesmen, businessmen, politicians, and diplomats centuries ago.
Anyone Can Develop Game
Jordan takes low life street kids and turns them into hotshot stock brokers earning $1M a year. With game in either a sexual or commercial context, you are appealing to both a person’s emotion and logic, thus aligning yourself with their belief system, so that they simply have to act on your suggestions. You have so thoroughly disarmed them that it would be unnatural for them to not follow your wishes.
It Is Quick And Easy To Learn
The Straight Line Persuasion techniques that Jordan gives over 10 x 40 minute seminars are an incredible tool. With a little practice in a matter of weeks, anyone can improve in leaps and bounds. I’d say it’s worth every penny, although I was lucky enough to watch a friend’s copy. Like anything though, it requires dedication and practice.
You Must Be Ethical
From listening to his personal explanations in the seminars and also watching the movie, I get the impression that much of what he did was not exactly intentional. Sure he was selling investment garbage, engaging in insider trading, and evading taxes, but much of this is good business sense, rather than a deliberate intention to actively con people out of their money.
There is however a fine line and if what you are selling is garbage, you may well find yourself in hot water down the track. In Jordan’s case he freely admits that he should have put more staff into real investment roles and less into sales and seems to show real remorse for the losses he caused people. He was young and stupid and discovered an incredible sales technique. Had he used those skills in a more honest way, in finance, technology, government, or industry, he could have been a tremendous force for good.
The same rules obviously apply to sexual interactions also. If you are that good at game, why bang married women, single mothers, and virgins (unless you intend to go LTR)? If you are not that good at game, then get good at it.
You Can Bounce Back
After two years in jail he lost all his money, had his hot model wife divorce him, and still carried an indictment to repay some $100M to “defrauded” investors, Jordan managed to bounce back. I’ve been through some rough patches myself and as the famous saying goes: “If you are going through hell, keep going.” I found myself the last few weeks doing things by remote control, quite depressed about the outcome of a recent business situation, and in a week, when all looked hopeless I’ve banked $10k and quite a part of that recovery is down to watching his seminars.
The Abundance Mentality
I’ve gone from rags to riches and back again. Slept in my car, run up crazy credit card debts, cleared them all and banked seven figures in a year – AND YET – I never managed to fully harness the abundance mentality. Jordan explains the 3 ways that people do things:
1. In ignorance of fear. This person is your typical minimum wage grunt. They are too scared to move beyond their comfort zone and thus they won’t even consider anything. They are unaware that they are afraid. Successful people that fail can often slip into this group later in life, as they just can’t face another failure.
2. In fear but do it anyway. This applies to a lot of rich people who wind up miserable. They know they are scared but they push against it, and thus they create dramatic situations, even though their material needs are met.
3. By consciously understanding that fear comes from childhood ideals. In school if we are “good enough” we make the football team or play the lead role in the school play and thus we are “popular.” If we are not good enough we don’t get those cherished roles and thus we are not as popular. However in the real world, which involves more than a few hundred class mates, popularity is not defined by material success. Even in school there is the distinction between the underachieving fat kid that everyone teases, the one that is the bully and the happy-go-lucky kid that everyone likes for some mysterious reason, even though he is useless. What is going on here?
People will like you for who you are, for your charisma and “game,” not for your material successes. In fact in the real world, success will tend bring attention from both haters and those that idolize you, neither of which creates the personal human interaction and validation we all need to some degree. Thus there is nothing to be afraid of. Hardly any ventures are life and death situations, and people will still like you personally, even if your projects fail.
No Means Yes
Jordan’s sales techniques involve looking for a soft “NO” as an opening of the game yet to come. You are expecting no. When you hear it, you smile and engage. This aligns very nicely with PUA. If she says no sex tonight, you know her panties are already moist. With this kind of mindset prepared, then you simply start what he calls “looping,” whereby you bring the interaction back to the straight line from A to B, on your journey to the close.
Looping essentially ignores the customer, date, or client who says no, by agreeing with them: “I hear what you are saying, now let me just add…”
Tonality
The tone of your voice is very important. We take for granted our tone of voice and yet we fail to learn simple techniques to keep an interaction upbeat and going along a straight line towards our goal.
Jordan explains this in clear simple terms. You can create scarcity (i.e. catch their attention) with a soft, deep whispered voice, this draws the person in—you have a secret they need to be in on. You can create sympathy and empathy by frowning and being downbeat. You can create confidence by being up beat and assertive, but without implying too much authority. In this age of social media and entitlement, no one wants to be bossed around, especially in a sales situation or on a date. Imposing authoritative tones of voice shows weakness and can scare the person off, as does bragging about yourself or trying to impress. You can disarm a person by being jovial and light hearted, sounding inquisitive and using a higher more frivolous tone of voice, like a child does, or a buddy at the bar does.
Each tone of voice used correctly, relaxes and brings the person into their own comfort zone and allows them to make decisions based on their own logic, emotion and belief system. You should greet everyone as if they are your long lost friend. Try it; it works incredibly because they sense that you are not only happy to see them, but relaxed and comfortable with yourself. Thus they relax.
People Are Scared
We are trained, almost brain washed, from a young age not to trust strangers, not to take quick decisions and so forth and yet in this day and age we are bombarded from all sides with offers and information. This makes people even more closed and guarded. It also means that when you have the skills to open them, the world is your oyster. When you open a person, they will relax and trust you and love that endorphin feeling they get from being at ease. You can then influence them to their benefit and also to your own.
You Must Close BUT Don’t Be A Con Man
I can see that once you practice and use these techniques they can be very powerful. Obviously there is far more to it than I can explain in a quick article, but you have the basics. This can be great in almost any setting. People are afraid to take risks, they don’t want the hassle, and they want to remain in their comfort zone. Through tonality, language, logic and empathy we can be a positive force and benefit to ourselves and those around us. The most rewarding thing is connecting with people.
“What’s the worst that can happen?” = your risks are covered.
“Give me a chance and your only regret will be we didn’t do this a year ago.” = I’m fantastic.
“Sounds fair enough?” = We’re both reasonable people.
“I pride myself in…” = You can trust me.
“Have you got a minute” = Listen to me (of course everyone has a minute, great opener for the phone).
Fun And Drugs In Moderation Are Okay
The prolific use of coke and pills seems to fuel the first half of the story, but later it winds into a degenerate mess. One thing you can say about his story is that he lived the life. That is what it is for, it should be enjoyable.
Quit While You’re Ahead
He had a good chance for an out, but didn’t take it, instead confronting the impending legalities head on.
Too Much Too Soon
As a final closing note, going back to the movie, I think if you watch carefully you can trace Jordan’s downfall to his second wife, a blonde Budweiser model, who was obviously in it for the riches. On the other hand his first wife (young love), seems to feed him ideas and direction, even though she’s only a 5-6.
What’s more, I’d say that the commotion of trying to setup a lavish family, hold down a wife and kids, with all the trappings of expensive weddings, a mansion, a yacht and so forth, most likely distracted Jordan from what otherwise might have been something akin to Goldman Sachs today. All he had to do was realize that his company needed to change up a gear by hiring real analysts, traders, money managers, etc. He was clearly not well educated or versed in anything other than the sales side of the financial industry and although he became wealthy through his excellent sales skills, he also became distracted by his blonde pussy, leaving his business to run full steam onto the rocks. This isn’t the only reason, but it’s definitely one of them.
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