Charisma! That quality that some men seem to possess effortlessly, but you’ve always wanted to have it too. Without a doubt, charisma is a quality that you can develop and that will help you more in business and getting women than any other attribute. But how does one become charismatic? Do you have to be born that way, or are there fundamental tactics a man can develop to be charismatic?
When I was a young lad, around 12 years old, I was obsessed with studying great men’s biographies, and any film footage I could find of them. I spent years, including high school and college, continuing my study of great men to see what made them tick and how they did it.
The one common denominator that I found was that they were all predominately charismatic.
After extensive study and application of the techniques I observed, I achieved my goal of having real charisma. The #1 trait that people have pointed out after meeting me is that I’m very charismatic. While I’m pleased I achieved my goal and am always continually working on improving, it’s time for me to share some secrets that I’ve used for years now to help you. You ready? Let’s get you started.
3. Treat Every Person You Meet As Your Best Friend
People want to connect with other people. They may have their head buried in their smart phone, they might be shy, they might be nervous, but make no mistake, people are dying to make a connection with someone. It’s not natural for humans to be alone and who the hell likes to be lonely?
One technique that I’ve observed from not only studying great men, but having met some of the most famous men in the world, is how they instantly ‘connect’ with you. The most striking memory I have of this is when I met Ryan Gosling (the actor) at a President Obama fundraiser. While I wasn’t there to write a check for Barry, I was in attendance due to a friend who is a minor celebrity.
Ryan and I started chatting about something mundane; I believe it was the food or something retarded, and then I mentioned an obscure film he had done before he became a bonafide star. His eyes lit up and for the next 20 minutes this A-list star gave me his undivided attention. Now here’s the real kicker: it’s Hollywood right? The room is full of stars, his back is to the wall and his eyes never left mine the entire time. If I wasn’t aware of charisma, I would have thought I was his new best friend. He made me, a young buck brand new to Los Angeles, feel on top of the world. It gets even better…
President Obama, then a Senator, was approaching the stage to speak and Ryan’s manager came running up to alert him. Ryan without missing a beat, stuck his hand out at her in a stop motion and said, “Hold on. I’m talking with my friend Christian here, I’ll be there in a bit”. My head exploded. Here Ryan Gosling was putting his manager and in a way the future president on hold, to finish our conversation. It’s no doubt that he’s the major film star he is.
When you meet someone treat them like your best friend, not fake, but with warmth and giving them your undivided attention. Trust me when I say that they will be drawn to you like a moth to a flame and this is an essential aspect of charisma.
2. Act With Conviction
An essential aspect of charisma is acting with conviction, speaking with certainty and having confident body language. You must truly believe that what you’re saying is absolutely the best way to operate. Whether in a business meeting, or on a date with a sexy girl, the more matter of fact that you act in your speech and physical actions, the more likely others will ‘fold’ to you. Do not confuse this with being a loudmouth brute who cannot accept when he is wrong, but instead use prudence, but act with conviction.
When I walk through a club, a fundraiser, or a mall, or any public space, I walk as though I own the place. This is partly confidence and mostly that in my own mind I do ‘own’ the place. While my name isn’t on the deed, I own the space in the sense of my presence.
When I speak to a group whether in a business meeting, or 1-on-1 with a sexy girl on a date, I do so as though every single thing that comes out of my mouth is with conviction. Have you ever wondered why Caveman Game works? Because the drunk frat boy roaming the bar grabbing girls asses and spouting off retarded shit is doing so with conviction. People who act confidently and with conviction are respected and followed. While obviously his ideals were whack as fuck, Hitler was known for being charismatic as well. Never underestimate the power of speaking with conviction: most people are sheep and are looking to follow the most dominate voice in the room.
A perfect example of full blown charisma is Denzel Washington in almost every role he has done and even more importantly in real life. He walks, talks and behaves as though he is the motherfuckin’ man. Even in roles where he plays a ‘bad’ character, such as Training Day, he does it with such conviction that as the viewer you start to believe that maybe he is right when he crosses the line continually. He even operates with such conviction that Ethan Hawke’s character folds to the ‘pressure’ and behaves accordingly for a period of time. Charisma is very powerful when executed properly.
1. Do Not Seek The Approval Of Others
To put it in layman terms, the acronym IDGAF (I don’t give a fuck) attitude comes into play here. While you’re acting with conviction, treating everyone with warmth and giving them attention, you cannot give two fucks what they think of you. A leader can never truly be effective if he’s worried about pleasing everyone and getting everyone’s approval before acting. It’s impossible.
Give people real undivided attention, treat them as your best friend, act and speak with conviction and divorce yourself from the outcome and you will be on your way to developing charisma.
Go here, because who wants to fuck 5′s and live an average life?
Read More: 4 Steps That Help Build Your Confidence
