They say a girl becomes a woman when she finds out she’s pregnant. Until then, married or single, prude or whore, it’s all fun and games for her. Whether she admits it or not, nothing in her life is more intimate or more important than having a child. Even if she’s never thought about it (which is unlikely), her world now appears through a new lens tinted by the colors of maternity.
If we look in nature it’s well known that the pregnant female or mother guarding her young can be the most ferocious and dangerous animal to confront. The difference between a girl and a woman is not discussed too much in the manosphere, but it’s an important consideration to take into account, especially if you plan on going the distance with a girl. Once she has a baby, a large part of the lovely, lively, sexy, free-thinking female is gone. Enter the serious, agitated, single minded, defensive mother.
Add to that all manner of body issues that spring up after squeezing out an 8-pound spawn, combined with hormonal swings, weight gain, sleepless nights feeding the little one, a lower sex drive (making it harder for you to tame her with your magic wand), doctors and nurses spreading her cunt wide open, more invasions interaction from family who want to see their grandchild, plus a bunch of new feminist influences mommy friends outside her usual social circle.
The list of pitfalls is endless and assumes that you are top of your game, financially and mentally sound, have zero anger management issues, no health problems of your own, enjoy your profession, and have previously enjoyed a stable relationship with her before planning to have a child. I expect you are already laughing and I’d agree. Because no situation is ever this perfect, you need to go into it expecting to take a few punches. Muhammad Ali used to allow his opponent to knock him around at the beginning of the bout. Unless you are thinking with that attitude—good luck.
This is no easy endeavor. It’s also quite solitary. While she’s pregnant you share some great time together, she’s all mellow and glowing, and provided there are no medical issues, she’s usually pretty horny. Then the baby arrives and your pole position is lost. You’re bumped to #2 on her priority list forever, and if there is a mother in-law, sister, etc., you will soon find yourself further down the list. Feeling like the hired help in your own home is no fun. It all sounds like a nightmare, but there are however some excellent experiences to be had from all this. It’s all in the attitude. The wimps can huff and puff at my above list of pitfalls, but there are solutions.
1. Beat A Hasty Retreat
I love working from home. I’ll have breakfast at 11 and lunch at 4pm. Work until 3-4am. I don’t live a buttoned-down schedule which makes a standard family home a living hell for me. Even if you are a morning person, though, coming home to baby Armageddon can really take its toll. If your work is demanding, the weekend is an important time to recharge, so at the very least you’ll have to feign some nights away “on business.” Check into a hotel and get some extra sleep for starters. Go on a long weekend trip with a buddy. Sign up for a training course at nights or weekends. Better yet, keep your family budget tight, reign her in on expensive baby crap, and use the spare cash to rent a small place of your own on the other side of town.
Basically if you don’t cut out your own niche, she will lean on you, fail to provide you with much of a support system, and clip your wings as a real man. What’s more is that a breastfeeding mother with an infant to take care of is highly unlikely to cheat, so this is really the time when you can spread your wings with little risk. Once there is a wife and kids in the home it’s not really your pad, especially if it’s a relatively small apartment.
At the same time she’s going to need some help with the baby, and this is where you smile like a Clooney and open your door to her sister, mother, your mother, your sister or pretty much any other bitch you can rope into baby duties. Pay them if you have to. You value yourself as a man and you value your professional time (and the relaxation that allows you to function). Paying minimum wage for someone to clean up baby poop is absolutely vital.
2. Be A Hands-On Motherfucker
Now that you have your control center established, you have to start thinking like a guerrilla commando. Every trip to the baby momma’s place is a hit and run affair. Excuses to leave need to be well prepared and stated in advance, your demeanor must be excellent, and you have a clear agenda on arrival: present yourself as the perfect loving father and husband, show clearly and absolutely that it’s YOUR home and she is still there as your guest, throw a little spare cash around if you can afford it, and then leave. You might stay the night, but be warned especially in the first 6-12 months, babies (much like myself) are not fond of sleeping at night, and (unlike myself) cockblock better than 10 chubby lesbians at the gay mardi gras. If you have a demanding work schedule, get the fuck out of there.
The point here is to get the best of being an absentee father, whilst also being present. You are providing financial and emotional support and hopefully a good hard cock to unwind the stressed mommy, but not getting involved in baby logistics. There is nothing in this world that will ruin a relationship faster than a grumpy, bad mood at 4am when the baby has just barfed all over the bed and you have a 9am monthly sales meeting. You are not a male penguin and you do not have to freeze your bollocks off guarding a fucking egg.
In days gone by, men didn’t get involved with children until kids were old enough to wipe their own ass. You think gender equality is bad in the work place, just wait until you walk in the front door of your own home two months after she’s given birth. The only way around it is to establish impregnable, military-style boundaries. If you have the most comfortable, mellow job, two blocks from your own home, or like me you work half the night AT home, you will have to make shit up.
3. Plan Some Treats
It’s your kid and your baby momma. THEY CAN NEVER BE REPLACED and neither can those precious years when the kid is so cute and fun and she’s all in love with you. Soon her tits will be touching her knees and your lovely child will be calling you an old fart. The temptation is to hide out, especially with her constant needy, panicky phone calls and demanding, cross examining attitudes. You have to reassure her you are there for her while putting her in her place. It’s a lot easier said than done. Remember she is a mother now, this is not the innocent girl you used to know. For the first 10-12 years of your life you were programmed to obey the mother figure.
As you get used to the new dynamics you can increase your guerilla attacks. The hit-and-run can last the entire weekend when you are mentally prepared to survive a little baby and mommy stress. You have to discipline yourself to do this, or you let it drift away until you are separated. You can’t have it both ways. Time investment is needed and it can be very fulfilling, but only when correctly engineered.
The final hint to getting out of baby duties (which frankly is best for both you and her) is to be that inept buffoon that doesn’t know what he’s doing. Nothing brings the baby momma running faster than some clumsy oaf of a father. No shame in playing that role when it suits. She will soon give up even asking. “Men are useless”—use the enemy’s ideology to your advantage.
4. Give It Time
As she settles down and the children grow this is when you MUST be around more to bond with them. From about 18 months, they start to identify with their father. The next couple of years are vital. By the time they are 4-5, if you have done a good job, it will be impossible for her to leave you because they will make it clear to her on a daily basis that they absolutely adore you. They associate her with discipline, mini panics, hamster mind, and daily grind, whereas you are the cool mysterious dad, the door to the unknown world that lies beyond home. In time they will need you more than they need her, and thus your children are now your best tool in keeping her in line.
Read Next: 4 Reasons Having Kids Make Men More Masculine
