Read closely, because I’m about to offend some of you. We’re all men, right? We can handle some constructive criticism, right? We can handle hearing what actually is, instead of what we wish it was, right?

In every man’s quest for success, what is one factor that must happen before he makes it?

You have to get fed up with being average. Period. 

You must get sick and tired of being the status quo and an average man in order to reach your full potential in life. You must realize that if you want to be truly successful, you have to want it as much as you want to breathe. As much as you want that pretty girl that’s in your class. As much as you want the dream life and success, you must ask yourself, do you really want it? Are you willing to sacrifice in order to have it? Are you willing to make real sacrifices.

I’m talking about turning your phone off, selling your TV and Xbox, saying ‘no’ to attending the latest party, telling your girlfriend “No, I don’t have time to hang out, I’m busy with work”, and even steering clear of your family if they bring you down with negativity and hatefulness. That’s the kind of sacrifice I’m talking about.

Some of you, God bless you, have been spoiled your whole life. You may have grown up with a silver spoon in your mouth and you may have been bailed out of every bad situation by your family, but if you really want to become an independent man with your own success, it’s time to let go of the tit and blaze your own trail.

Some of you, God bless you, are spoiled brats. You don’t know what real pain is. This is the softest generation of all time. The absence of pain creates weak men obsessed with material goods, but lacking an inner fire.

You know where I get my motivation? Inside my soul.

I wasn’t raised with money, didn’t come from money, and sure as hell won’t be left any money when my family passes. I knew in order to be successful, I would have to wipe away my crocodile tears of dismay at not being born into privilege and put my nose to the grindstone. Coming from the place I have come from and experiencing real pain, I can tell you right now, that the pain will make you better. 

It will make you stronger.

It will make you more independent.

It will make you smarter.

It will make you into a man.

My path from pain hit it’s all time low when I was homeless

The pain of being alone and broke without a dollar and having no idea where my next meal would come from is incredible pain. The feeling that if I died in any of those moments and who would really care, will either break a man, or set him on a different path.

I knew that in those moments I wasn’t being all that Christian McQueen can be, but I didn’t know how to get out of the situation. I was lost, full of despair and started to lash out at those who were successful.

  • “Well that motherfucker got lucky!”
  • “He was born into it. How the hell is someone who’s poor with no connections supposed to get ahead in this life?”
  • “No one gives a flying fuck about me, my situation, or my goals and dreams. Fuck everyone, I don’t give a fuck anymore.” (My go-to saying.)

Let me tell you something and read this close, because it might just change your life: Your attitude of bitterness and hatefulness will destroy you. (It almost destroyed me.)

There’s no ifs, ands, or buts about it. It is a poison that will destroy your soul, breed in your mind with bitter thoughts and manifest itself in your actions. Get a hold of yourself and decide that the only one responsible for your failures and successes is yourself. This is key, because your claiming responsibility for everything good and bad that has happened to you will empower you.

You cannot start your quest for greatness, unless you realize that it’s in your power to make it happen.

No more depending on Dad.

No more depending on Mom.

No more asking your grandparents to bail you out.

No more relying on the government to pay for your food.

No more begging, no more pleading, no more asking for a handout.

You have to make it happen.

You have to take control of your life.

You have to make the right choices.

Only then can you get yourself out of the gutter and on the road for success.

I speak from experience of being down and out, broke and lonely. What flipped the switch for me was taking responsibility for my actions and realizing that my negative actions had created a prison of consequences. As I took responsibility for those actions, the prison walls of consequences that seemed insurmountable started to dissipate and I made another chance for myself.

Read that again: I made another chance for myself. I turned no opportunity into an opportunity. You have to get creative and take the initiative. What is that for you? I don’t know your situation, but you know it better than me.

You have to make yourself an opportunity.

You have to seize every moment of every day to be successful.

If you think that you can sleep in and spend more time on Facebook dreaming and success will eventually come, then you’re in for a helluva rude awakening.

Stir that hunger inside. Stoke the fire. Get rid of the bitterness. Get rid of the hateful attitude to those who are doing better.

I’m telling you with all of the sincerity in my body, that the pain you’re going through will be the fuel for your success, if you don’t allow it to define you, but instead allow it to refine you.

I wish the best for everyone who reads this article, and while I’m sure the naysayers will eagerly scroll down to the comments to leave scornful and spiteful comments, let it be known that even they can change and live a better life, if they only let go of the bitterness and take hold of their future.

If you choose to ignore sound wisdom based in real life experience, then realize this my friend: you are only hurting yourself. 

No one said it would be easy.

No said it would be a smooth road.

No one said that becoming truly successful isn’t one of the hardest, if not the hardest journey of your life.

But read closely: if it was easy, then everyone would be successful. Do you want to be everyone? Or do you want to rise above?

Determine today that you are fed up with being average and are committing to being the best that you can be.

Need practical life advice on becoming a better man? Elevate Your Life and check out my blog.

Read More: 4 Steps That Help Build Your Confidence