A few years ago, I went on a date with a Russian girl I met in London. She was a little older than me, probably an 8 in her day, but a bit over the hill pushing into late 30s. She was very well connected socially in the upper class London scene. We hit a couple of VIP clubs where the royals party and breezed past the doormen. It got to 3am and we went back to her place. She introduced me to some lame beta flatmate which kind of threw the vibe and we ended up in the garden smoking cigarettes. By then I was too tired and drunk to want to fuck her. She started getting a little antsy – expecting me to hit on her.
I decided it was time to call it a night and get a cab home. I just wasn’t that into her. I said, “Well… I’ll give you a ring.” She responded clear as day: “I don’t need another friend.”
She couldn’t have made it any clearer. She wanted to fuck and seemed to imply that the benefit of access to her social scene should be paid with sex. Although it was a bit unexpected and a real role reversal – fair enough really – you go girl. I bid her goodnight because she wasn’t my type, but respect for making the relationship boundaries clear. More men should think like this, even if all they have to offer is a hard penis. After that comment I couldn’t bang her without feeling like a man whore and she was right, I was more interested in access to her social circle than her pussy. It was going to be ‘game’ with me as the bitch – trying to avoid sex and gain benefits.
The modern age empowers women in many ways
From birth control to GPS navigation through to well stocked supermarkets, home delivery, instant communication, and so on. The entitled woman has been created in part by our ‘easy’ and technologically driven lifestyles. Women no longer need the support, care and protection of a man. We have a high level of equality in many respects, but the equation works both ways.
I no longer need a traditional ‘wife’ to cook, clean, fetch water from the well, prepare condiments to preserve fruit through winter and scrub my clothes on a washboard any more than she needs someone to help keep the aggressive natives at bay. Where in the past the partnership between men and women was fostered by a necessity of survival, the dynamics have now changed immeasurably. Women have little incentive to contribute to a partnership. Men simply need to wake up to the modern age as women have done.
If you overhear a gossipy coffee morning amongst girlfriends, you can often hear them giggling about how stupid men are. I have to agree with them. Men, for all their genius, engineering, logistics and inventions can be bumbling buffoons in relationships. Men no longer need a wife, girlfriend or live in lover.
What does a man really need from a woman?
SEX.
Why do men enjoy the company of a woman?
FOR SEX.
I just want a whore. Cocktails, diner, clubbing, all fine and good, but it’s basically a warm up for sex. I’m not even taking you to the cinema if it means forgoing a good fuck. Sorry girl. You wanted equality—well, you got it.
My Russian date was absolutely right, even though I had no intention of becoming her dildo – her attitude was correct. A relationship without the sex you want is not worth having. Most women can serve no other purpose in my life, for exactly the reasons that feminists championed the liberation of women. So let’s champion the liberation of men from the binding, limited ideals of marriage and male-female partnership, just as feminists have done for the fairer sex. Just as my Russian date did.
Fuck me or pay me for my skill set
Real men like to pass time with a woman only so that they can have sex. Sure their feminine approach to life, their gossip, social networking skills, attention to detail and kudos of a 9 on your arm are benefits, but if I need a personal assistant, public relations expert or escort, I can hire one. The old expression “pay peanuts, get monkeys” even sees Tony Stark tied into a miserable nagging ‘relationship’ with Pepper Potts. I do not need a ‘girl friend’ and neither did he.
Her primarily function is to bring the one thing that is missing from my existence and that is her sexuality. I have everything else covered and according to the tenets of equality she needs little else from me. Equal opportunity workplace? I’m all for it so long as it comes with the equal opportunity bedroom. Why should I pay your rent, introduce you to my social circle or let you consume my time, energy and expertise helping you out? Earn your own money and take care of yourself. Hire a professional to fix your life up.
Forget about cooking pancakes in the morning, I can get those ready-made or hire a cook. Instead wake me up with a blow job. Forget about laundering bed sheets or arranging flowers in the living room, I don’t want you to be enslaved as my unpaid housekeeper, absolutely not—you are an empowered woman now. Rather I need you to slip between the sheets of an evening, dolled up in black suspenders. Don’t worry about scrubbing the floors, I can hire a maid for that—instead let me find you grinding yourself in the shower, with a butt plug inside your anus.
The only time a woman is irreplaceable is in the bedroom. I cannot make love with my pillow. I cannot practice BDSM with only the rope and handcuffs, and I cannot have wild sex in the shower with just the soap. Although it would be much more convenient, I am certainly not interested in sex with another man. Therefore I need a female.
As my Russian date put it: “I don’t need another friend.”
Just as women have championed their liberation and equal rights, I have championed my own equal rights and liberty. You want your equality, no problem. I want mine too. I don’t want to have to game you, impress you, seduce you. You are my equal, you have no need of any of my provisioning, protection, care, and so forth. You can earn your own money and buy your own car and apartment. I just want to make you squirt until your juices drip off the ceiling. That is my function in your life and yours in mine. That is all we are to each other. Our equality removes all need for partnership in every way, with the exception of sex.
A woman that is not prepared to come over, strip off and get down to it within 15 minutes of crossing my threshold is not worth knowing. I don’t want to talk about my work week, my family, friends, or neighbors. If I need a therapist or adviser I can hire a professionally trained psychologist. I don’t want to meet your girlfriends or your mother unless you are bringing them for an orgy. And I certainly don’t need your daddy’s permission and neither do you in these times of equality.
If you aren’t going to give me the sex I want then obviously you neither understand your own sexuality or a man’s. A woman that is not interested in providing me with the sexual pleasure and antics I seek maybe worth hiring as a maid, housekeeper, cook, driver, personal assistant, secretary, manager or executive, but I have no need for female ‘friends.’
The gay world knows what equality is. They hook up amongst themselves whenever they see fit. Sex is not usually a bargaining chip or leverage to a better lifestyle, rather a mutually satisfying experience for both. It’s a pleasurable cheeky pastime to be had wherever, whenever. Why else would someone bang George Michael in the bushes? They just wanted to fuck—they weren’t trying to up their status or angle for alimony. If you are not ‘in the mood’ then fine—I will find someone who is horny.
You want your equality dear lady, fair enough, I want mine. Your only function in my life, is to have sex. If you want remuneration for that we can discuss. If you appreciate the benefits of having an excellent, cost neutral, risk free sex life with me, even better. It is that simple.
Feminism did a great job on behalf of men everywhere. According to feminists, a woman is just a man with a cunt, so we should expect them to be sexual in the same way men are. Or perhaps we all know that that they don’t want it like that at all.
Read Next: Loving And Hating Feminism At The Same Time
