I find it’s better to grab field reports from guys at random. It’s too easy to inject my personal bias, or to pick the saddest sack of a man for better engagement; everyone loves a good rubbernecking. (except the guy behind you while you jam up traffic) This week it’s for this guy

This guy, right here

40 years old, 5’9”, 176lbs, 18% bf, a wife of 36 years, Married 15, together 17, 5 kids.

First thing to check on a guys field reports: what is his Magic Wand? This is a concept I’ve used to flesh out a guys expectations. Wave a magic wand, assuming you cannot make anyone else do anything for you, what do you want to happen? For this guy?

• Week 1: Fuck more, own my shit.

• Week 16: Be an inspiring and wholesome father and partner who will lead my pack through discoveries & great adventures.

• Week 26: Pursue life with an unrelenting drive to explore, innovate, and grow.

The first concern is ego. Fuck more is a goal. If you fuck once more than the week prior it’s a win. If you don’t, it’s not. Own my shit is a more nebulous one. It could mean the guy is not great at articulating his goals, which is natural. Most guys don’t have to articulate themselves in life. I have the field repots below, and it is likely a combination of losing weight, accepting rejection better, boilerplate stuff; but

I think it’s something more damaging. Malaise.

Most of my Case Studies are guys who suck. Objectively suck. This guy does not suck. He has a great job, 5 kids and an almost 20 years marriage. He is skinny-fat, but not horrible. On paper there’s nothing wrong with the guy. I have to ask, what brings a guy who apparently has his shit together, then I found it:

While I used Rollo Tomassi SMV chart up above to illustrate what we are talking about, I have my own to further illustrate what we are dealing with:

The technological shift of modern men

It’s this one. In a pre-internet age, this guy would have been the 3rd standard deviation of men. Success in spite of any outside obstacles. Today? Pushed just behind his potential. What would have been a pinnacle example of men is now an above average one. Is it any wonder he finds himself lacking satisfaction with his life?

“Who is he to complain? There’s men with real problems out there!”

And while it sounds like a non-problem, it’s really not. First, we don’t get to have our lives defined by other peoples standards. The key part of Frame, of assertiveness, is the Assertive right: no one gets to judge your actions, except you. He tried a marriage, he tried a family, he tried starting a business. None of it seems to work.

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Why you’re lost

It’s Rule Zero. Male sexual strategy and a positive male identity. Male sexual strategy is easy. Make a better product, market a better product, increase potential customers. Apply this to your sexlife. I won’t go into details, as I’ve written 2 books on the subject already. The hard part is the positive identity. you can’t define it but you can feel when it’s missing.

I’ve never liked Way of the Superior Man. It feeds into a guys ego without offering any tangible identity ideas. The only use I have for it is to see if someone new to the RP likes the book more than the rest. It is a litmus test for ego. Similar to Evola. It’s not that Evola or WOTSM are bad, it’s that it attracts a certain type of man.

Having said all this, here’s the issue. These type of men haven’t had to define their own success, or create their own vision. They use their parents, their wives, their friends, church and social circles to define them. It’s not vision, it’s ideology. If they fail than everyone gets to tell them ‘it happens’ and that they just didn’t work hard enough. That non-hedonistic treadmill can keep people running for the impossible. but like a dog chasing cars, what actually happens if he catches one?

And this is where I find the bare bones basic RP mental models of Frame can help. If other people define your goals and you succeed, you have a malaise. If other people define your goals and you fail, then they create a worker bee filled with guilt. Do it for long enough and a guy doesn’t know how to make his own vision.

It starts with the gym. A selfish program for an unselfish man. You can’t answer your phone when you’re at the gym. You can’t think about anything except that bar that will crush your head if you don’t balance it above your head for 8 reps.

It continues with assertiveness training, nice guy behaviors, building Frame. You learn to say no to other people. You teach yourself to be OK with being the bad guy in someone else’s story. you teach yourself to resist being manipulated unless you get something sufficient out of the deal.

Soon. The metaphor of Frame starts to click. You still can’t define it, but you can see where you lack it, and you can see who around you has it. For this particular guy, I’m rooting for him (I rarely care about individual guys) Mostly because he’s the kind of person who can learn his vision form this place and is most likely to create his own body of work that will shore up the canon.

Because this space is full of the sad sack, the men at the tail end of the bell curve. Occasionally, the head of the curve find themselves here. They will be the people who create new theory, who observe new patterns, who ultimately, add to the rich tapestry of Rule Zero.

Summary (for free subscribers to enjoy)

You can do all the same steps that a man with Frame does. You can start to increase your sexlife. But unless you accept the idea of your mental point of origin, and all the ugly little realizations that come with it, you’ll ultimately be looking for a salve.

This is why I say Frame is the key. It’s easy to have Dread, Frame, and a vision. It’s not easy to have those things when your wife cries, yells, or otherwise doesn’t approve. This guy might take 2 years to learn about the Dancing Monkey Improvement programme, he may not, but this is how it happens.

Remember, change is hard and your wife may not want the new you. You have to be OK with that.

Enough of this, onto the Case Study

Week 1

5x5 265SQ / 280DL / 230BP

Read: NMMNG, MMSLP, SGM, MAPx2, Mystery Method, Book of Pook, The way of the Superior Man (40% feel a real connection with this book)