The goal of this post is to make you feel better about your life.
My doctor prescribed me the antibiotic cefdinir because I was having sinus issues. On the eighth day of a ten day treatment, my body got itchy in multiple places at the same time. I wrote it off as crabs (the sexual kind), but the next day it got much worse. Globs of raised red skin with the itching power of a million mosquitoes moved through my body like plucky terrorist fighters. When they attack my face, I look like a burn victim. Then they go hide in their sophisticated cave system, regroup, and come out later to attack again in different places… twenty-four hours a day, for the past nine fucking days. From a skin perspective, these have been the worst of my life—and I’ve had some bad pizza-face breakouts in my day. The first couple of days were so bad that I had a scratch queue where I had to prioritize which area got attention first (balls). Anti-histamines and cortisone creams have done little. Here’s how my back looked on day two:
You’re probably wondering what that patch of hair is. Sometimes I think it’s the result of a secret government experiment (my bet is on the fluorine), though I can’t say for sure. But I do know that it is growing in size and thickness.
Anyway, my doctor said my hives would go away in 2-10 days. The welts aren’t as bad this week but the quality of my life just isn’t what it used to be—to play with myself I have to carefully time it between hive episodes. I did some googling and turns out that for some people hives stay with them for over 20 years. Since this is day nine for me, I’m happy they will suddenly disappear tomorrow, just in time for the weekend! 
