This post is for everyone, including me. We need to stop saying “like.” Now. We’re the only English-speaking country that uses like as a filler word and it makes us sound retarded. I cringe when I meet an American, usually a West-coaster, who uses it in every sentence. I want to shake the shit out of them and say “PLEASE STOP YOU SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT!!!” It’s distracting and serves no other purpose than to dumb down your speech. I’m all for slang though, especially English slang (to make out = snog, to like = to be keen, bang = shag, she wants cock = she’s out for it, etc.).

While I’m on this topic I have two other suggestions specifically for American girls.

1. Volume control. Why do you have to talk so loud? I’ve never had to ask an American girl to repeat herself.

2. Stop talking about yourself. No one cares about your very minor personal stories. Out of all the stories you love telling only 2% are worthy. Save the rest for amusing yourself on the bus when your IPOD runs out of batteries. After your story barrage is done and you leave the room, everyone makes fun of you.

The only potential problem American guys have is they all have the same haircut, but that doesn’t bother me.

Oh dude you left your pomade in the bathroom.

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