This excerpt is from Bang…
With any task you do, whether it be related to women or sports or any type of game, there are a certain number of times you must fail until you succeed. Each act of failure puts you one step closer to success. During an important presentation at work in front of thirty scientists, I interchanged the words lactose and lactate several times. This is akin to showing up at a meeting in the Oval Office without wearing pants. While I was embarrassed afterwards, it taught me simple but essential rules of how to plan and construct a presentation for educated professionals. With each presentation, I got better and better, until I was the preferred person to present data generated by our group. But without those initial mistakes, I wouldn’t have been able to polish my skills. Not doing anything may prevent you from failure, but because you make no attempt, it prevents you from success as well. This principle is especially important when it comes to women because you need to rack up a boatload of rejections to understand how to be really good with them. I have been rejected more than most guys I know, but I have also been with more women than most guys I know. You try more, you get more—there is no secret to it.
A week ago I got an email from a guy. He said he’s been reading my newsletters and he likes them, and is ready to put them into action with a girl he likes. He wanted specific advice for this situation so that he could succeed on his very first at-bat.
I don’t think he liked the advice I gave him, which focused on the long-term instead of the short-term.
Improving your game is not meant for any one girl, it’s meant for you. It’s meant to give you a skill that you can use until you die. Studying the game or improving for one girl is supplication. You might as well impress her with a fancy car or put on magic pig pheromones.
A lot of guys don’t understand that you have to fail a lot with the girls you want to get the girls you want. I keep tabs on the seduction community and there are a lot of products that promote instant, effortless change which appeal to the guys like the one who wrote me. They want to come across as supreme alpha stud to bang the girl in Psychology class. They want to get better NOW to get that gorgeous girl at work. He wants to fake it with a couple magic lines and live the rest of his days as a happy man with the dream girl that all other guys want. But it doesn’t work like that.
If you’re not ready to put in the work, to get rejected and allow girls to spit on your fragile ego, you will never be good. There is no shortcut.
It’s Friday. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t do at least 10 approaches this weekend. You’ll get rejected in most of them, I can promise you that, but come Monday you’ll feel like a king. You’ll be a bit closer.
If you liked this post then I think you will like my book Bang, a collection of simple but powerful techniques, moves, and lines that make it easier for the average 20-something man to be more successful with women. Topics in Bang include discussion of the alpha male, effective opening lines, conversation themes, getting phone numbers, detailed dating strategy, and much more.
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