Continuing the exploration of what is, or is not, a virtue that began with niceness, I will now continue with fatness.
It would seem that gluttony would obviously not be a virtue, but not in the la-la land of the 21st century during the twilight of our democracy. Oh no, we are pushing to celebrate fatness while some people are actually pushing the government to tax the crap out of fat people because they are a health risk. Which is it? My gut tells me its going to be fat men that pay the taxes and fat women that get celebrated because fat men carry their weight “wrong.”
Let’s start with this article from Glamour. I like the name of that magazine. Glamour originally meant a magic spell, specifically an illusion and one that made things more enticing than they really were. An illusion is a lie, and a glamour is a pretty illusion. It is the perfect name: pretty lies.
Women lap up these pretty lies like the good little doggies that they are.
If you search their site for “plus size” (the euphemism for chubby) you will find 748 articles! You go grrl! But Glamour is proudly proclaiming a body image revolution:
I’m especially proud of a shoot you’ll see in our November issue . . . seven beautiful women, all three to five sizes larger than the models you generally see in magazines.
O.k. Take a minute and read that quote. Does anyone see the telling lie in that quote? The women are “three to five sizes” larger than most models. What is the typical size for a model? Well, it’s size 2. Let’s give these fine fashion magazines the benefit of the doubt and say the high end for models typically is size 4, that makes the women in the November issue top out at size 9.
Anyone see the problem with this yet? Anyone? O.k., how about the fact that the Average American woman is a 15? These women are nowhere near the chunkiness of the typical American heifer.
Men would be so lucky if women actually averaged around a size 9.
Will these pictures inspire women to actually get down to a size 9? Please. They’ll just look at the “plus size” women and figure they look as good because she’s “plus sized.”
No. You don’t.
More lovely wisdom:
[O]ver 1,000 of you posted your own joyous reactions to a figure with curves. “Lizzi, you are radiant,” wrote one. “Shine on, sister.” (Men loved the picture too: “I speak on behalf of all men: she is stunningly beautiful,” went one typical comment. “Please, make more of her.”)
First off, what “man” reads glamour? (And yes I realize the irony of me saying this, but I don’t read the magazine, I came across this article on the MSN webpage) Dude, stop whacking off to you’re wife’s magazines.
Yay for more self love among American women. They aren’t narcissistic enough:
This photo … reminding me to love myself, treat myself well . . . and showing me that I can and should smile in my nakedness and belly rolls, because I’m worthy of that kind of that unabashed self-love right this second. We all are!
No you’re not.
Think about it: In real life, women of all shapes and sizes have crazy sex appeal and killer confidence. Why should our own pages look any different?
No they don’t. I will go out on a limb and say that women on the high end of the size spectrum don’t have killer confidence, because if they did, they would have killer self control and would lay off the ho hos, Twinkies, corn syrup and every other empty calorie food there is.
Let me be blunt: Fat women ain’t pretty. Anyone that says they are is a liar or self hating. And don’t give me the bull that fat women are prettier on the inside. They’re women. Enough said.
One of the commenter’s of our fine blog believed that I exaggerate the epidemic of fatness in our culture. According to time magazine, that bastion of fair reporting 61% of American women are now overweight. For a thorough dissection of the article go here. You can find the link to the article on his blog. (Just trying to get you more hits, amigo!)
Let’s look at that again 61%, that’s 6 out of 10 women that are less attractive because of their weight. Yes you heard me, you’re less attractive if you’re fat, big boned, large framed, a little heavy, have extra cushioning. Whatever euphemism you place on it. And you are less healthy because of it.
There is so much talk of “girl game.” You want to know what you can do to enhance your girl game, sweeties? Stop eating simple carbs. Stop eating wheat, corn and potatoes and anything made out of them. It ain’t a thyroid problem, its those three things.
If you want to be happier in life, learn self control. If you want to be more attractive and get a better man, lose the weight.
