Yesterday was Father’s day here in the United States, and I invited my father over for a grilled dinner. A couple of rib eye steaks, corn on the cob, grilled asparagus, a nice bottle of wine. It would have been nice, but the weather didn’t cooperate. C’est la vie. Dinner still turned out well. Split the bottle of wine with the old man so we were both comfortably lethargic by the end of the meal.
Earlier in the day, I stopped by the local drug store to pick up a couple of father’s day cards for the old man. Mind you the two of us are a little more than 20 years apart in age, so at this point I find there’s little need to ‘tell’ my father how great he was as a father. Now that I’m an adult, I can look back at my childhood and see that for the most part he did a pretty good job of raising me.
Try to find a simple card that says ‘Happy Father’s Day’ and nothing else. It’s damn near impossible. Strike that. It is impossible. I don’t need an emotional trope to some fantasy father of perfection in a father’s day card. Normally, I can be in and out of a card section in about 30 seconds. I stood there, going through card after card, trying to find one, just one, that wasn’t obviously written by a woman (or a mangina, I suppose). Seriously, who writes this stuff? Guys don’t say this crap to one another. Guys don’t need to say this crap to one another. I don’t care who you are.
Let me back up a moment. Some of you are probably wondering what the heck I was even doing getting a card for the old man in the first place. A fair point. Normally, I don’t and haven’t gotten a card for him. Growing up father’s day was no big deal. Nor was mother’s day for that matter. The LTR and her family on the other hand do make a big deal over father’s day. The LTR’s father passed away a few years back, and as a result I think she get’s a bit emotional about the whole event. Combine that with the fact that I stiffed the old man for his birthday a couple of weeks ago, and I’ll admit that I felt I needed to make it up to him. Hence the dinner and a quite above average bottle of Pinot Noir.
Cards are an entirely feminine form of social glue. There are cards for everything, and let me tell you, my LTR collects them. Just in case of emergencies. Birthday cards, anniversary cards, engagement cards, wedding cards, birth announcement, baby showers, bridal showers, Christmas cards, valentine’s day cards, mother’s and father’s day, condolences, thank yous…the list appears to be endless. The LTR can disappear into a stationary shop and come out with a stack of these things. Last time I checked she has two organized boxes of the things and still she buys more.
I am more of a minimalist. I’ll buy a card if it’s the right thing to do and makes the person receiving the card happy. I don’t go for the emotional cards. I prefer the off color or slightly blue variety. My guy friends would be very uncomfortable receiving a card filled with emotional ejecta. We are comfortable with our actions and interactions, the shared trials and tribulations of life that build a bond of friendship. No words are necessary.
