Virgin at 50 had a post up (which I believe I linked to in the weekend link fest) about pointless conversation. One of his conversations went like this,
The highlight was a day when the morning sun was blinding over the cashier’s shoulder. I covered my eyes with my hand and said, “I’ve never noticed your halo, before; usually, I just see the horns and pitchfork.” She laughed out loud and beamed at me.
That line was funny enough that I thought to myself, ’self, if you ever get the chance, you need to use that line.’ OK, I’m kidding about that internal monologue. In reality, Virgin’s post got me laughing and thinking about the mindless things people say to each other. The social lubricant necessary for living in close proximity to thousands of others every day (assuming you live in a decent size town, city, or metropolitan area).
What is it we are communicating when we participate in pointless conversation? On some level I suspect it could be seen as a semi-ritual form of greeting, ‘See, I mean you no harm.’ A way of easing the anxiety of the possibility of social rejection. I’m friendly and sociable. A way to fill dead air so that no one feels uncomfortable with the silence.
But there are also pointless conversations with people you are already familiar with. Friends, family, and acquaintances fall in this category. These interactions fall along the lines of catching up, asking about mental state, etc. An interesting observation I once heard is that women will typically greet their female friends with a compliment about something they are wearing, or their hair. Generally it will be a compliment about their appearance. I started paying attention to this behavior after coming across this fact and in most instances it holds true. See for yourself. Makes me wonder if that could be an explanation of why a neg along those lines works so well. A short circuit of the standard female greeting.
Over the weekend I happened to be picking up some items at the local bric-a-brak store. It was late in the day and the sun happened to be shining through the window behind the checker. A cute brunette. I squinted at her, which she noticed. She commented about how they were all hoping management would install some shades on the windows as it was too bright. I replied, “It’s not that, I was noticing your halo. Usually I just see a pitch fork and horns.”
For my efforts I got a nice laugh, a self-conscious grooming gesture of her hair, and a demure head down look up through her eyelashes at me. Not bad.
