What parents name their children has a direct impact on how they’ll be treated growing up. I have yet to meet a woman who understands this concept. I’ve never seen a study of the effects of unique names on the interactions of children. I have seen studies showing that names do have an impact on peoples perceptions of potential candidates for employment positions. Here’s a typical conversation I’ve had with the LTR.
LTR: What do you think of the name Finley?
Al: Horrible name.
LTR: OK, what about Tristan?
Al: Please, the kid will grow up to be a pansy!
LTR: Huh? What about Magne?
Al: Are you shitting me? Do you want the kid to get his ass kicked on the playground?
LTR: That wouldn’t happen. Those are strong names.
Al: You obviously don’t understand the playground rules. Ask your brother what he thinks of those names.
A few days later we’re visiting the LTR’s brother.
LTR: Hey Bro, what do you think of the names Finley, Tristan, and Magne?
Bro (without any prompting from me): LTR, you can’t name a boy that, he’ll get his ass kicked!
LTR: Men!
Al: lol, told you.
So, on the off chance that you’re inclined to have children, don’t give them names that are extremely out of the ordinary. You’re guaranteeing the kid will get the crap kicked out of him. Take it from somebody who lived the experience. I spent most of the second and third grade fighting and dodging a large group of kids intent on beating the crap out of me on a daily basis during recess. All because my name was a little out of the ordinary.
