There was a gamesman a few months back that advised other aspiring gamesmen to never leave the house without looking your absolute best. In some ways this is easier said than done. We’ve all had days where the will does not hold sway over the mind or body. Days where we’ve all just said ‘screw it’ and headed out on our daily tasks looking slightly better than death warmed over. Invariable, we see some cute little number and find ourselves wishing we’d made a little more effort in the grooming and apparel department. Yes, it does pay to look well composed, but it also imports a certain level of confidence that comes through during an approach.
Most women I know also spend an inordinate amount of time primping and preening prior to heading out the door. On some level they know that they will always be judged on their appearance. At least on a superficial level. But I’ve come to recognize that women (at least American women) aren’t just making themselves up for potential men they may run into. No, they are also putting themselves together in the off chance they run into another woman they know.
Heaven forbid they run into a female friend or acquaintance when looking less than their stellar best. Status jockeying doesn’t take a break just because she isn’t motivated to put herself together. I’ve known too many women who gleefully recount running into a ‘friend’ who was having an off day. They seemed to enjoy, relish even, the discomfort of the other woman. When the shoe’s on the other foot, they have waxed poetic about the injustice of it all. They sheer rage they felt for the whole belittling experience.
I’ll provide one recent example. There’s a woman I know. She’s married, has two boys under the age of 6, and to all appearances does not enjoy the fact that she’s in cougar territory. She works out religiously, has had a couple of plastic surgeries, including a tummy tuck, butt lift, and boob job. Yeah, for a near 40 year old she doesn’t look half bad compared to other women her age. Put her next to an attractive woman in her 20′s and she is but a pale shadow of her youthly vigor.
A short while ago this woman took her two boys to the local Target store for who knows what. She was in a hurry so she threw on some sweats, put her hair up in a pony tail, slapped on a baseball cap, and a pair of flip flops and headed out. She was mortified to run into a woman she’d graduated from college with.
This woman she’d known from college came off as a royal SWPL bitch. Oh, ‘her kids are home schooled,’ and ‘oh, they are so smart because of blah, blah, blah.’ Her husband is head of this, that, and the other meaningless paper pushing job. The litany of status markers and the desire to compare lists of said markers, so to speak, was nauseating (even in the retelling of the tale). There was a smug self assurance to this SWPL gal.
What did plastic fantastic cougar do? Nothing. She was unprepared for the verbal assault. She lamented after the fact that she was able to come up with all kinds of comebacks AFTER the conversation was over, but at the time couldn’t think of anything.
I found the whole tale kind of funny. What does she care what this woman thinks. It’s not like they travel in the same circles anymore. And yet, I suppose that’s too much to ask or hope for.
