Women just can’t fathom the fact that unattractive men exist, and are thus duped by the apex fallacy.
Readership: All
Length: 1,200 words
Reading Time: 4 minutes
From the age of 18-30, all women see is very attractive men for sex and relationships of varying duration and intensity (whom she’s sharing with a couple of other women, whether she knows that or not).
And indeed, that is precisely the experience of a lot of women from age 18-30 – attractive men are everywhere, for whatever purpose women want.
Because of 10+ years of experiences and interactions with others during their peak SMV years, most women really believe attractive men would always be available to them for whatever they want/need them for, whenever they want/need them.
Women are not only solipsistic in the short term, they’re also solipsistic about the long term.
As I described in last week’s post about the Rupture of the MMP, women simply cannot understand why men cannot or will not do what they want. It just doesn’t compute. Women view men not doing these things as a personal affront, as if men are supposed to self-improve for them.
A key reason for this is that many women have never really seen a grown man go through his life, because they grew up as young girls not living with their fathers. They’ve never seen an adult man live his life, how he lives, how he works, what he likes, the daily and weekly rhythms and ups and downs that he experiences. They don’t even really know how to live with a man. Not a boy, not her brother – a man. Living with brothers is similar, but not the same. Girls watch their brothers interact with other girls in overtly sexual ways, so she learns about boys’ sexual proclivities and responses. But brother doesn’t show or teach her much else. (In fairness, the reverse is true too – at least some men aren’t much keyed in to women’s motivations and timetables, and that too has caused a lot of these problems.)
Women understand what attracts men, and what men like, for the most part. Women know how to attract men. But women in their 20s and 30s don’t really understand men’s different timetables and motivations for interacting with women at differing stages of men’s lives and that can make it hard for women to relate to men on anything more than a superficial level. They don’t understand or really care about why men do what they do sexually and relationally, and why they make the decisions they make, until it really starts affecting them. They don’t understand or care much to understand, why men decide to have sex, how they go about picking women for sex and relationships, and how men view the roles of sex, commitment, marriage, and parenthood in their own lives. Men and women are not the same at all in this regard. And a lot of women aren’t much attuned to those things.
Women don’t care about unattractive men going their own way. They don’t care about unattractive men, period. Women are just fine with unattractive men doing whatever they do, so long as those men do it away from them. The only times women care about unattractive men are when one tries to get on her radar (where she tries to avoid them) or her attempts to get their money via her online webpage or OnlyFans site (where she feigns “interest” for the sake of collecting $$$).
Women don’t see or don’t know about men trying and failing, or having already been through repeated rejection and failure with women, or men’s ineptitude at dating and sex, or men doing the risk/benefit analysis and concluding it’s not worth it, and so they conclude, “Those men are screwing this whole thing up! They’re not doing what they’re supposed to do! They’re just not keeping up! Don’t they know they’re supposed to be ready to be sex partners, boyfriends, husbands, and fathers when we need them? Hey, men, what’s your problem?? Why are you just sitting there not doing anything? You’re supposed to be courting us, asking us out, dating us, marrying us, and fathering our kids!”
This is of course because the attractive men they were having sex with a few years before aren’t interested in commitment with them, or have since picked someone else and are unavailable. So they’re left with the less attractive men, who of course were either playing a different game with different women, or not playing, or unable to play. So there are very few attractive men left when they’re looking to marry in their mid-20s to early 30s. Jack called this a mating glut, and it is.
Even though men who go MGTOW are most likely NOT in the top 20 percentile of men, nor are they in the wider pool of Betas comprising the marriage market, women are ignorant enough to conflate the whole MGTOW movement as a shortage of attractive or marriageable men.
Furthermore, they view MGTOW as being a problem that men caused. To women, the problem is “weak men screwing feminism up” (as Dalrock accurately called it). Women’s view on this is that women are advancing and doing it on their own, and it is men’s job to stay apace with what women are doing. It’s men’s job to improve themselves, be fit and good looking, and to be high earners, so they can be selected for sex and for LTRs and marriage, as women deem appropriate, when women want them. Women think that men not doing these things are being selfish, shallow, short sighted, immature, insecure, and “afraid of commitment”. In other words, “screwing it all up”.
Look up “apex fallacy” – the erroneous assumption that the characteristics of the top members of a group apply to all members of the group. Only top quality men are “visible” to women, so they believe that all men, including ones they don’t know, including men they have never talked to or noticed, and including unattractive men, are out there having all kinds of sex, all the time. I’ve talked to several women who have never heard of MGTOW or the Manosphere who really do believe this. And they believe it because that’s what the attractive men they’re watching and having sex with are doing. Their conclusion is that “If the hot guys I have sex with are doing this, then that must be what all men are doing, right? I mean, men are all horn dogs, so they’re out there getting sex from someone, somewhere, right?”
So when women hear about MGTOW, they conclude that Bradley Betabux has gone AWOL and is now off the sexual market. Although this idea is ridiculous at face value, they think this is reality – and it is terrifying to them.
So that’s what is going on. Women don’t really care about MGTOW until it comes time to find men to marry, and there aren’t any men left. They don’t understand why the guys “aren’t keeping up”. And they don’t understand what’s motivating men at different times in their lives. They also fail to understand that men who go MGTOW are not the same men they are after, so they fall victim to their own ignorance and fears.
Related
- Spawny’s Space: The Future of MGTOW by Deti (2016-10-31)
- Σ Frame (Novaseeker): The Lopsided Liberalized Mating Market (2021-02-17)
- Biblical Gender Roles: Are There Any Marriageable Gen Z Men? (2021-07-14)
