As everyone here knows, I learned Game in the literary sense from two primary sources; one was The Mystery Method, the other was The Game. I read both in the same weekend, the latter first and then the former, and I’m glad that I did. That’s because Style’s book-a colorful memoir of how he went from a zero to a hero with the ladies-really fleshes out and puts a human face on what became the Seduction Community. Moreover, it makes sense of the deeply arcane language that comprises the former work. In my humble view, you really can’t learn Game if you don’t read this two books, and I submit, in the order I’ve suggested above.
A little while back I decided to sign up to get on Style’s email listserv; and every so often I receive emails from him that discusses various aspects of Game, among other things. I thought I would share what he has to say from time to time, if only to dispel the notions of some, that Game is inherently sinister and so on. As anyone who is familiar with Style knows, the Man is hardly a sheister selling snakeoil to the masses, nor does shy away from the real problems the Seduction Community had and continues to face. One of the things I loved most about The Game was his brutal honesty about things.
The following post by Style then, should explain itself. That the Game has its enemies is nothing new; readers of this humble blog know this well. The question, though, has to be WHY do they fear Game so? Please keep that in mind as you read what Style has to say.
And, as always, comment and reply, holla.
The Obsidian
“Hey Obsidian,
I wanted to share some thoughts on an
experience I recently had.
I received a call from two producers on the Dr.
Phil show. They wanted me to come on and
discuss The Game and the community with
Dr. Phil.
However, the more I talked to them, the
more it seemed like a set-up. So I declined.
Instead, they got two of the people in The
Game to participate.
And they did a few sneaky things, according to
those who were on the show:
1. They filmed some guys sarging, but planted
women with secret cameras in the club.
2. They didn’t tell one of the PUAs that another
guru was going to be on the show, then they
encouraged the guru to be adversarial. The
result was a PUA slugfest that sounded like a bad
day at Project Hollywood.
3. They brought out a woman at the end of the
show who’d been hurt by a man who was NOT in
the community to confront these guys.
The working title of the segment: WOMEN, BEWARE!
This information just broke my heart. It really infuriates
me.
When I wrote The Game and went on to do the press, I
told myself that I would neither DEFEND nor ATTACK the
seduction community. I’d simply present the truth as it was, the good and the bad.
However, the more interviews I did, the more I realized I
was going to have to defend something: The right of guys
to learn this.
Anyone who’s ever seen the front page of Cosmopolitan
or Sex in the City knows that self-help, sexual improvement, dating advice, and attraction skills is an accepted rite of
passage for women.
There is no equivalent for men: We are simply shown images
of women we are supposed to desire in the pages of Maxim
and Playboy, then not told what to do about it.
People get tutored for everything else in life. If you can’t do math, you get a tutor. Sex in the City was women getting tutored in what to do with different types of men. I think the coolest thing someone could do is recognize their weakness and work to
improve it.
When guys ask me questions, it’s usually not about what to do to trick a woman into bed — it’s about how to get over heart- break, whether Alexander Technique will improve their posture, whether improv classes will make them more spontaneous,
what to do about “this one special girl,” how to dress, and so on.
Though some of the “gurus” may have their issues, 99.9 percent of the guys I met learning this are the NICE GUYS. They are the guys women always say they are looking for, yet at the same
time are never attracted to.
Usually, the true assholes, jerks, and misogynists are too
cocky and arrogant to even consider that they might need
to “learn” how to interact with women.
So anyone who’s going to get on a bully pulpit and demonize
men for trying to improve themselves is not a friend of mine.
And any pundit who’s going to criticize men for manipulation when that’s exactly what their show producers regularly do to their guests is not a friend of mine.
The community may have its problems — especially for those
who get sucked too deeply into it, as I did — but there’s nothing wrong with learning social skills, if you’re learning from the RIGHT teachers.
The real victims in my experience were not women. The
victims I witnessed, the people I saw hurt by the game, were only men. Because the game is a forking path: there’s a light side and a dark side, and some get lost in the dark side and lose themselves — in addition to creeping out the very women they’re trying to attract.
As a writer, I understand the temptation members of the
media feel to create an obvious sensationalism piece. But
it’s far better to do the research and find the REALITY of a situation — and it makes a better story. Because the reality is often never obvious. Sometimes it’s the last thing you’d
ever expect. That’s what most of my books are about.
I realize this email is sort of a rant, and perhaps I’m
even preaching to the converted, but I had to get it
off my chest. There are some 42,000 of you on this
list. Some of you are in positions of influence or
respect — whether on campus, in the media, at home,
at work, or in a community.
Let’s do our best to counter small-mindedness and social
pressure designed to hold US back because of someone
ELSE’S fear wherever we hear it. Whether it’s about learning the game, a personal attack against you, or something else
you care about, don’t take the bait and get defensive. All you have to do is speak the truth. It’s the best weapon you have, and so sharp that no one can ever bend it if you wield it
properly — without fear or insecurity.
And that’s one to grow on,
Neil”
The Obsidian
