Since Jamila’s been our special guest over the past few days and has inspired the past few posts, I trust she’ll be pleased that she has inspired yet a new one.
In the Black community, it is very common to hear the complaint on the part of highly educated Sistas, that they can’t find any Men “on their level”, which is taken to mean, similar or more formal education, income and status. Moreover, the biggest complaint these Sistas have and make, is that far too many Men simply cannot handle their fierce indepence, sparkling intellect and are too insecure for their own good.
So, after giving this a bit of thought and observation, I thought to post a simple question to such ladies (Jamila, etc et al):
If you’re so strong, independent and smart, why not focus on more passive Men? Wouldn’t that create a lot less friction in your life, and be a more mutually beneficial relationship experience for both parties involved?
For example, everyone knows David Alexander. He’s as genteel and agreeable as they come. Surely, strong, fiercely independent Sistas like Jamila could hookup with guys like him, right? Passive guys like him would love to have such a leader in Women like Jamila.
So, why don’t we see more such Sistas getting with such guys?
It seems to me that in order to be successful in getting what you want, you have to go to places where the kinds of people you’re interested in are. If indeed you’re a rare find, then corresponding mate material will also be rare to find, and you accept this going in. If indeed you are more independent and aggressive, then it only makes sense, for the sake of balance, to find a mate who is more passive. And so on. The big problem I see a lot of Sistas having is they don’t seem to understand basic Economics. You have to go to markets that want what you have to offer, and/or you have to tailor your “product” o meet the desires and demands of the current marketplace you’re in. Otherwise, your product winds up remaining on the shelf. Indefinitely.
While Women like to take pride in the fact that their sex is the one who calls the shots as to which Man “gets lucky” they continue to bear out the old Game maxim that they don’t want to take the corresponding responsibility for making sure they attract the right kind of mates from which to choose from. This is especially true for Black Women, who use the dearth of “eligible” Black Men as a crutch as to why they refuse to take any personal responsibility for their lives. Sure, to say that there is a shortage of the kind of Black Me Sistas want, is a given. But that doesn’t mean that Sistas can’t find suitable mates and by extension, have good relationships. Afterall, the very same uneducated, insecure Black Men these Sistas like to bemoan and excoriate, they all seem to do just fine finding mates of their own. Leaving these ostensibly sharp, on the ball Sistas…alone.
So, I thought that since, if you’re like me and are a bit snowed in, that I’d toss this question out on the table.
Comments?
Holla back
The Obsidian
