There’s simply no getting around the fact that, once one has hung out in the Gamesphere, or indeed some of the liars out in the realworld, you can’t help but get the sense of disillusionment, disappointment, even anger or hatred on the part of lots of guys therein. Although ultimately counterproductive if left to its own devices, a bit of “culture shock” is to be expected for the AFC who experiences Game for the first time. We in the know liken the experience to the smash-hit movie The Matrix, where everything you thought you knew about life and the world was turned on its head. Its a powerful, and for many, harrowing experience that some do not recover from.
What I find a lot of Game-related venues fail to point out and/or emphasize anywhere near enough, is that it would be immensely helpful to Men when, upon learning the more uncomfortable aspects of Game and what truly turns Women on, that it all isn’t a one-way street-that Women have their own sets of challenges, both wrt us guys, and things that they have to deal with on and among their own, that never become a problem for us. And if we could see things from their point of view, it would not only take the sting out of a lot of our feelings of disillusionment and pain, it would also gives a degree of empathy for the ladies, because on so many levels, and in so many ways, they are as much slaves to their impulses as we are.
So, just off the top of my head, here’s a few things we guys should think about when:
1. We get shotdown and/or rejected by a Woman, commonly known in Game circles as the Bitch Shield. Because Males display and Females choose, a big part of a Man’s life will entail Rejection, and there’s no pretty or easy way to deal with it. Simply put, you gots to Man Up. No Man likes being rejected, but if you think the Masters of the Game don’t get rejected, you have got to be out of your ever-loving mind. These get more action because, simply put, they talk to more people than you. Its a simple numbers game, and sooner or later, the law of averages kicks in.
But what we don’t consider is, while we’re getting shotdown, Women aren’t in such an enviable position either when you think about it-a
good looking Woman can expect to get approached easily, what, 5, 6 times a week? And that’s not including ogling, stares and the like-in other words, she’s constantly being assessed as if she was a piece of meat. And because Women are, as a rule, more inclined to seek relationships than merely sex, do you realize how disheartening this can be and often is, to Women? This is why your approach, when you make one, has to be so very different from all the other jokers out there, because if you don’t you’ll just be seen as another mope who wants to get in her pants and then be out the door. Which brings me to the next point:
2. Women risk a helluva lot more than we do to have sex. For us guys, its wham, bam, thank you Ma’am, and we’re done. For Women, its a lot more involved than that. For us guys, bagging chicks left and right makes us a hero; for her, having a revolving door of lovers lowers her chances of landing a really good guy for the longhaul-we don’t have that sort of problem.
Then there’s the STDs. Women are much more susceptible to them than we are, and more likely to have life altering consequences as a result, too.
Then, of course there’s pregnancy, and if you’re just hooking up, the chances of a planned one aren’t high. So she’s faced with several choices, none of them great-either abort outright, have the child and raise it most likely alone, or put the child up for adoption. I know there’s a lot made about the Child Support Industry and so on, and for what its worth I am deepl sympathetic to those issues many guys raise, but the fact remains that for Women, this is something they have to constantly think about when they agree to lie down with a Man. It’s not something we ever have to give much thought to at all. And let’s not even get started on Rape. Yea, yea, I know all about false rape charges, believe you me, I’m totally with you on that. But the fact remains that Women still have to be on guard for such things a heck of a lot more than we do.
3. Recently, I wrote a post called Are You A Slob? It was aimed at getting guys to start taking stock of their own appearance, instead of constantly ragging on the ladies. Yea, a lot of them let themselves go, but a whole heck of a lot of guys do, too, and since we’re dealing with guys instead of Women here, the only people you can change is YOU.
Anyway, here’s something else to consider: taking the time to care about your own appearance will give you a newfound respect for what Women go through, I know for a fact it did for me. Case in point-last night I got a much-needed haircut. Took me about 2 hours of waiting before I got in the chair (we Black folks take our doos very seriously, LOL). Now, consider if I were a Woman and particularly a Black Woman-it would have easily taken me 4, 6 or 8 HOURS, IN THE CHAIR, before I would have gotten done. And unlike me, who at most might get his hair washed before being cut, Women have to deal with perms, relaxers, extensions, dying, twists, locs, braids, this, that, etc. For a Man, getting a cut is a chore; for a Woman, getting her hair done is an Odysessy.
Here’s something else to consider: a little while back I bought about 5 pair of jeans from the store. Took me all of about 20 minutes to get it done, because I know what I like, all I had to do was try em on for fit. Now, consider what a Woman has to deal with-first of all, their sizing scale is ridiculously complex because, unlike us guys, who have a much more uniform sizing scale thanks to the Civil War, this never happened for Women. Put that together with the ultra sensitivity of Women’s body images and so on, and a simple matter of a Woman buying one pair of jeans, let alone four or five, can be a day long thing. It’s not unusual for a Woman to end up exchanging a pair of jeans she thought would fit only to find out they’re too long, too high in the waist, not enough room in the thighs, big enough for her butt not the waist is also huge, etc, et al. We guys rarely encounter problems like this. And I’m talking about jeans here-don’t even get me started on dresses and other outfits.
4. While most guys go through a very painful and lonely time from their 20s up through their 30s in terms of sex and romance because unless they have wealth, status or Game, being younger often means having less sex, for Women its the reverse. They get mad attention in their latter teens all the way up to about mid 30s or so, early 40s at the most if they were blessed with great genes and they’ve taken care of themselves. After that though, its downhill for them, and the dropoff is sharp indeed. Think about it-how many Men are viewed as sexy well into their 40s? Denzel Washington, Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford, George Clooney, Brett Farve, Daniel Craig, R. Kelly, Jay-Z, Barack Obama? ALL of these Men, and many others, are at least 40 years old, and guess what?-the vast majority of them didn’t really hit their stride until AFTER they turned 30 at least.
Now, let’s consider similarly-aged Women: Janet Jackson, Helen Miren, Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey, Jennifer Lopez. Most of the Women on this shortlist were consider certified hotties, yes? But NONE of them now are. They’re respected for their past works, yes. But how many guys can be heard pining away for any of them NOW? How many of them got more success after 30 than before? And how many of them are still widely desired after 40? See my point?
What lots of guys don’t get is that being shotdown is akin to being shot-its acute and “death” comes quickly. But for Women, being “shotdown” is like terminal cancer-its an inexorable slide that can be managed, but never overcome. She can delay it at best, and she should. But once the youth goes, so too does the beauty, and even in our age of amazing science, it can only go so far. Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, George Clooney, Denzel Washington, Wesley Snipes and many others have proven, that if a Man takes care of himself, he can and will enjoy quite a few ladies well into his 40s and beyond, because an older Man is quite sexy to most Women. But for Women, being over 40, even while she may still have a strong sexual drive, is a very difficult time of life to handle, as she’s not as desired as much as she once was, if at all. Hence the “strongarm tactics” many such Women employ out there today, aka the Cougars. In fact, I happen to know quite a few such Women, who are into porn and the like more than a lot of Men I know, they’re that hard up for Wood. I’ll speak on this more in due course.
5. Lots of guys are truly bitter at how so very often, Women will fall for the Lotharios of the world. Tru dat-but let’s be frank. How many of us guys are really caring about that Hottie’s inner beauty, let alone intelligence, moral fiber and familial upbringing we saw at the club or the mall? Hell to the naw, we concentratin’ on them thighs, that big ole booty, them banging’ boobies and that luscious face-we tryin’ to get to know her better because we want to HIT IT. The end-and don’t think other Women don’t know this, they most certainly do. Yea, go ahead, call em haters because they mad they ain’t as hot-the very same thing could be said of YOU by the gals you despise for hooking up with the modern day Lord Byrons. The bottomline here is that we can’t help being drawn to what we like, and there’s nothing good to come of complaining about it like a loser. The strong thing to do is recognize that no Man can or will appeal to everyone, and to simply move on to those Women who are attracted to us. Believe me, nothing’s worse than being a Woman who few guys want, because it is part of a Woman’s makeup to be desired.
Keeping this shortlist in mind when you go out there will go a long way to give you a sense of perspective wrt Women, to see them as flawed human beings just like the rest of us, respect for their humanity, empathy for the daily grind they have to put up with that in so many ways, we simply don’t. Remember: those who tend to do best with Women, do so because they take the time to truly understand them.
I’m just sayin’.
Now adjourn your horny asses.
The Obsidian
