A perennial topic in our Body Politic is the idea of “freedom of expression”, in this case, with regard to how we present ourselves to the wider world in terms of dress and appearance. Perhaps some of the biggest supporters of the notion that not only should we be allowed to present ourselves any way that we wish, but that there shouldn’t be any judgments of same by anyone, are, as a group, Women. We’ve all heard the defiant refrain about a Woman should be able to walk down the street nude, with no repercussions from the act. Such a statement, while tenable perhaps in theory, is in the realworld, horrendous in actual fact. It is so because it turns a blind eye to the reality of Human Nature, and it is Human to make *value judgments* about each other-based on how we act, speak, dress (or undress), and associate with.

Of course, Human Nature has its foibles and excesses, and to be sure, Women as a group have borne the brunt of much of this down through the years. But that’s a separate issue from the simple fact that we, arguably the most social animals on the planet, care deeply about the kinds of signals we send out into the larger environment, and that said signals carry with them consequences, big and small.

The real issue, insofar as Women taken as group is concerned, is that they don’t want to be *shamed* for behavior or perceptions that don’t sit well with the society at large; as I’ve noted in my previous post, Gamesmen understand well WHY Women are very much into the idea that one shouldn’t be “judged” for their behaviors. But, much to their chagrin, many Women find, that despite polite society ostensible “progressiveness”, Women can and will be judged rather harshly if she’s been found out to have presented herself in a questionable way, and shouts of “sexism” and/or “misogyny” are at this late stage of the sociopolitical game, are really getting old.

Since I find that whenever I bring up just about any topic that addresses Women in any way someone will bring up Black folks as a kind of retort, I think the following recent news item will add a bit of illumination to the discussion:

Yesterday while watching Fox News, they gave a report about how the country’s HBCUs (Historically Black Colleges & Universities) were beginning to mandate dress codes, particularly for its Black Male students; among the prohibitions were no more wearing saggy or drooping jeans, doorags, “grillz” (gold teeth) and the like. Morehouse, a traditionally all Black Male college in Atlanta, and alma mater of the late great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., seems to have lead the effort in this regard back in Oct of this year, and has been at the epicenter of this “debate”-I phrase it this way, since I find it deeply ironic that MLK’s alma mater has had to codify into “law” rules against its students looking like Thugs-moreover, I see it as a real nadir in Black American mores that such a thing even has to be “debated”.

Around the same time that Morehouse came forth with its dress code, Conservative talk radio personality Rush Limbaugh came under intense scrutiny because of his bid to purchase the St. Louis Rams football team; a major part of the reason why he was denied admittance into the NFL Owner’s Club, was because of his politically incorrect comments about many of its Black players, among them, that he couldn’t tell the difference between them and members of the Bloods & Crips street gangs, on the basis of how they looked (and in many instances, acted). While there was much squawking about Limbaugh’s comments, I submit that there was so much flailing of arms BECAUSE WHAT HE SAID WAS TRUE.

Indeed, part of the reason WHY Tiger Woods’ peccadilloes is making so much fodder for the news and rumor mills, was BECAUSE of his squeaky clean image as a Black (or at least, partially Black, according to him) Sportsman, at a time when both the NBA and the NFL had an ever increasing image problem with regard to its Black Male players-to such an extent, that finally David Stern, commissioner of the NBA, has to do basically the same thing that Morehouse and other HBCUs did, institute, for grown Men, an offcourt dress code. The general, though never openly stated in polite company consensus among a heck of a lot of Whites-and a not insignificant number of Blacks-is that the NBA and NFL is chockfull of Gangsta Thug Niggas-and all the tats, braids, baggy clothes, big SUVS and “Jesus pieces” worn by many of the players, don’t do much to allay these concerns by the wider (and often, paying public).

The other night, at a Christmas dinner I was invited to, we discussed these and related issues. When asked how I viewed it, I simply noted that at the end of the day, I, as a Black Man, have to be pragmatic, IF my goal is to make it back home in one piece. Because, I explained to them, as a Black Male, this is far more than a more abstract academic point of debate for me-how I present myself to the larger world carries with it real consequences. It can make the difference between whether I get hired (or fired!); whether I get a bank loan or not; whether I get a house or apartment; or whether I go to jail or not-indeed, looking the way wrong way could get me shot and killed, by a really nervous cop who’s not gonna bother to make distinctions out there on the bricks between the good and not so good Nigras-because, he’s trying to go home, too.

I told my dinner hosts that a week previous, my Lady and I went to the local mall to do a bit of Christmas shopping; it was very cold that day, and she wanted to buy me a “skullie”. I took great pains to get one that differentiated me from the “hoodrats”, and made light of it in humorous terms-but the point was made, and she understood it as well-because Black Men have the perception of being up to no good, the simple fact of life is that guys like me have to give a bit of forethought about what clothing to buy and wear. Because there are clear and real, consequences for putting out the wrong kind of perceptions. And again, this just ain’t a “racial” thing, because LOTS of Blacks think the same way as Whites-recall what the Rev. Jesse Jackson once said about being somewhere dark and hearing footsteps behind him.

At some point, arid academic “debates” and infantile cries of “expression” have to give way to hardheaded reality-which is, that people can and will judge you, based on how you present yourself to the world. For Black Men like me, it means I have to give a good bit of thought as to how I want to be seen and perceived by others regardless of color; for Women, it means whether they want to be treated as Ladies or “Ladies of the Evening”-or worse. To pretend otherwise, is not to approach the world as an adult-but as a child.

“Now these ladies is lookin pretty from city to city
I refined a few I met, around the country
The nitty gritty, it’s all reality, no question
Actual fact like tight jeans cause yeast infections
And sisters with good minds, get no respect when
Their ass is all hangin out, playin the bar section
of the club shake what your mama gave ya, back to the lab
I drop the truth, cause rhyming is more than just my craft
Or a way to get ass, or fast cash, or blasted
Black women, make sure you’re respected
When niggaz is kickin that old off the wall shit, let em know from jump: “Dead it”, you’re not ignorant
Knowledge wisdom understanding is the key to wealth
Put some clothes on that ass if you respect yourself

Chorus:

With those hooker type wears hon you’re, playin yaself
With those skin tight jeans baby you’re, playin yaself
Everything all exposed you’re, playin yaself
You’re, playin yaself, you’re, playin yaself

Everything all exposed you’re, playin yaself
With those skin tight jeans baby you’re, playin yaself
With those hooker type wears hon you’re, playin yaself
You’re, playin yaself, you’re, playin yaself”

-Ya Playin’ Yaself, by Jeru The Damaja

Now adjourn your childish asses…

The Obsidian