Meetings are great opportunities for your career.

The social strategist attends not just to get things done, but to advance his career.
He promotes himself, plays politics… And grows closer to his boss (or those in power)..

This post gives you the ground rules to influence and self-promote in business meetings.

If everyone’s a sycophant, you need a different strategy to stand out

So let’s start:

1. Get Buy-In Before the Meeting

This is a common mistake for less power-aware folks.

They see a meeting on their calendar to discuss a certain topic and think: “Great, that’s my opportunity to introduce my great idea”.

Big freaking mistake.

Persuasion is about power.
Most big-shot executives worth their salt have big egos and are very high on power.

If you persuade them on the spot, it sub-communicates that you have power over them. And if your solution is ‘better’, the sub-communication is that you are ‘better’ than them.
Of course they’ll resist that.

And the resistance is larger when you’re:

1. Junior
2. Newer
3. Proposing big changes
   • Changes impacting someone powerful
4. Challenging the status quo

Solution

Lay the groundwork before the meeting:

1. Talk to key stakeholders
2. Get their input early
3. Make them feel valued
4. Adjust your pitch with their feedback
5. Say you’d like to present the idea and if they’re OK with it

If not possible:

• Provide an early heads-up
• Present with as much power protection as possible

Delivery techniques

The more hurdles you face, the more you should frame it as:

• A possible solution
  • Potentially, a test to run
• An improvement, not a revolution
• A possible solution that may need refinement
• Worth considering, rather than obvious improvement
• Inspired by something/someone else, rather than your sole genius

If attacked, don’t take it personally.
Before addressing it, validate the attacker and the merit of his contribution.

🎓 If it goes well, propose to lead that project.

P.S.:
Men resist public influence more than women.
See this post:

• Women winning in business

2. Sit Right to The Boss

The boss’s power will rub off on you, and physical closeness signals a good relationship.

2.2. Avoid Sitting Alone Across from the Boss

Especially if it’s only you across:

3. In Inter-Department Meetings, Side With Your Team

In intra-team meetings, you can argue with your colleagues.

But in inter-team meetings arguing with your colleagues can be perceived as “friendly fire”. It frames you as a traitor.

Worst of all if the boss is present: he will take it as treason, and as a sign of disloyalty.

Why?
Because inter-team dynamics in the male culture have a tinge of “us/them”.
It’s pure in-group/outgroup and ‘us VS them’ tribal dynamic.

It’s a bad sign when turf squabbles trump good work.
But these dynamics go on a spectrum. And it’s rare to find a boss that welcomes better company output at the cost of his team’s reputation and loyalty.
Conversely, if you hear your boss complaining about other teams or talking about ‘those guys’ with a demeaning tone, adapt.
Don’t defend them, don’t be a politician saying that some mistakes are to be expected, and be too chummy with them in his presence -but be warm when he’s not there 🐍-.

Note: Don’t internalize the ‘belonging to the team’ mindset
Extreme tribalism is bad for humanity and bad for you. You give your individuality and self-interest. So play like you’re a loyal team member, but never become a tribalist.

4. Adapt Like a Chameleon to Boss & Culture

The simplest way to fix a political blunder is to prevent one.

While some cultures welcome disagreement and challenging questions, others expect obedience.

If unsure, ask your boss:

Boss, is it OK to express different opinions from colleagues or management in a meeting? Should I discuss with you first?

You’ll learn the culture, and flatter your boss with the question.

5. Focus on The ‘Alpha’, Ignore The Rest

If there is one main decision maker -‘alpha‘-, respect everyone, but focus on the alpha.

If others attack you, it’s likely posturing.
Stay composed and respond only if it helps persuade the alpha.

🔎 Example:

As ‘talent’ graduates we presented our ideas to the senior management team.

It was textbook political mistake: juniors, delivering big change ideas, without pre-buy-in.

I proposed to let employees book work-from-home days without approval.

Andy the big boss joked that next, we could allow beers at work.
The whole room exploded in laughter.

And other senior managers piled up.

I strategically laughed with them.
Then, as the laugh died down, I addressed Andy first. I looked at everyone, but still I spent more time on Andy.
And I said (improved version for better learning):

Me: I can see why you’re worried about this <— Pacing and validating

It is worrying to give away so much power <— Validating

And I agree with you, some people will abuse of that power <— Extra alignment they weren’t expecting

And that’s great <— Leading with a huge attention grabber

That’s why this proposal can be a good idea <— ‘Can’ is strategic

When everyone’s free to choose between abusing the system or use the freedom to do better work, we can quickly tell who are the good guys from the bad ones <— ‘We’ framing us on the same team

This proposal isn’t a blank check for everyone to do whatever they want. This is a reward to keep and attract the top performers we want. <— Ends with the positive of this proposal

Even if the original wasn’t this polished, it still turned the power dynamics on their head.

Andy stopped being a d*ck and began pondering.
And so did everyone else.

The proposal was drastic, and it wasn’t accepted.
But I gave it the best chance, and it was still a personal win.
Including with the HR coordinator when much later she mentioned that I could ‘negotiate with a very difficult opponent‘.

5. Challenge External Vendors (& Job Candidates)

Prepare thoughtful questions to display your acumen and high standards for vendors and new hires.
Some tips:

• Display responsibility for your work
  • Ask how the new hire will support you or how the vendor’s software benefits your work
• Display your commitment to go the extra mile
  • Ask what they’re willing to do if achieving your goal requires extra effort
• Inquire about costs as if you were spending your own money

6. Speak Early, Speak Often, Speak Confidently

This is the rule of thumb when it comes to the order of speaking:

Those who speak early and often are seen as more credible, greater risk takers, and possessing more leadership potential than those who speak later.

Those who speak last are seen as “also-run”, the ones that didn’t have enough value or courage to speak first.

What if you didn’t have anything to say, or you really didn’t dare to go first?
Well, here is a cool power move for you, then: summarize what everyone else has said before you add your own. Give credit, mention a few people and their ideas. And then add yours.

A few posts on how to be confident:

• Executive skills: how confidence looks like at work
• High-power behavior

8. Self-Promote, But Offset It With Collaborative Frames

You want to self-promote, of course.

But you don’t want to look like you’re only out for “team you”.

Doing it well requires some social calibration and smoothness.

Imagine you’re in a team meeting.
There is a lot of discussions back and forth, but so far no decision has been taken and there seems to be no one leading.

You feel that you have found the perfect way forward.

How do you present it?
It’s usually best to present your idea as the culmination of everyone’s input, rather than your own stroke of genius (examples in Power University).

Meetings are great opportunities for your career.

The social strategist attends not just to get things done, but to advance his career.
He promotes himself, play politics… And grows closer to his boss (or those in power)..

This post gives you the ground rules for influencing and promoting at meetings.

If everyone’s a sycophant, you need a different strategy to stand out

So let’s start:

1. Get Buy-In Before the Meeting

This is a common mistake for less power-aware folks.

They see a meeting set on their calendar to discuss a certain topic and they think: “great, that’s my opportunity to introduce my great idea”.

Big freaking mistake.

Persuasion is about power.
Most big-shot executives worth their salt have big egos and are very high on power.

If you persuade them on the spot, it sub-communicates that you have power over them. And if your solution is ‘better’, the sub-communication is that you are ‘better’ than them.
Of course they’ll resist that.

And the resistance is larger when you’re:

1. Junior
2. Newer
3. Proposing big changes
   • Changes impacting someone powerful
4. Challenging the status quo

Solution

Lay the groundwork before the meeting:

1. Talk to key stakeholders
2. Get their input early
3. Make them feel valued
4. Adjust your pitch with their feedback
5. Say you’d like to present the idea and if they’re OK with it

If not possible:

• Provide an early heads-up
• Present with as much power protection as possible

Delivery techniques

The more hurdles you face, the more you should frame it as:

• A possible solution
  • Potentially, a test to run
• An improvement, not a revolution
• A possible solution that may need refinement
• Worth considering, rather than obvious improvement
• Inspired by something/someone else, rather than your sole genius

If attacked, don’t take it personally.
Before addressing it, validate the attacker and the merit of his contribution.

🎓 If it goes well, propose to lead that project.

P.S.:
Men resist public influence more than women.
See this post:

• Women winning in business

2. Sit Right to The Boss

The boss’s power will rub off on you, and physical closeness signals a good relationship.

2.2. Avoid Sitting Alone Across from the Boss

Especially if it’s only you across:

3. In Inter-Department Meetings, Side With Your Team

In intra-team meetings, you can argue with your colleagues.

But in inter-team meetings arguing with your colleagues can be perceived as “friendly fire”. It frames you as a traitor.

Worst of all if the boss is present: he will take it as treason, and as a sign of disloyalty.

Why?
Because inter-team’s dynamics in the male culture have a tinge of “us/them”.
It’s pure in-group/outgroup and ‘us VS them’ tribal dynamic.

It’s a bad sign when turf squabbles trump good work.
But these dynamics go on a spectrum. And it’s rare to find a boss that welcomes better company output at the cost of his team reputation and loyalty.
Conversely, if you hear your boss complaining about other teams or talking about ‘those guys’ with a demeaning tone, adapt.
Don’t defend them, don’t be a politician saying that some mistakes are to be expected, and be too chummy with them in his presence -but be warm when he’s not there 🐍-.

Note: Don’t internalize the ‘belonging to the team’ mindset
Extreme tribalism is bad for humanity and bad for you. You give your individuality and self-interest. So play like you’re a loyal team member, but never become a tribalist.

4. Adapt Like a Chameleon to Boss & Culture

The simplest way to fix a political blunder is to prevent one.

While some cultures welcome disagreement and challenging questions, others expect obedience.

If unsure, ask your boss:

Boss, is it OK to express different opinions from colleagues or management in a meeting? Should I discuss with you first?

You’ll learn the culture, and flatter your boss with the question.

5. Focus on The ‘Alpha’, Ignore The Rest

If there is one main decision maker -‘alpha‘-, respect everyone, but focus on the alpha.

If others attack you, it’s likely posturing.
Stay composed and respond only if it helps persuade the alpha.

🔎 Example:

As ‘talent’ graduates we delivered a presentation with our ideas to the senior management team.

It was textbook political mistake: juniors, delivering big change ideas, without pre-buy-in.

I proposed to let employees book work-from-home days without approval.

Andy the big boss joked that next, we could allow beers at work.
The whole room exploded in laughter.

And other senior managers piled up.

I strategically laughed with them.
Then, as the laugh died down, I addressed Andy first. I looked at everyone, but still I spent more time on Andry.
And I said (improved version for better learning):

Me: I can see why you’re worried about this <— Pacing and validating

It is worrying to give away so much power <— Validating

And I agree with you, some people will abuse of that power <— Extra alignment they weren’t expecting

And that’s great <— Leading with a huge attention grabber

That’s why this proposal can be a good idea <— ‘Can’ is strategic

When everyone’s free to choose between abusing the system or use the freedom to do better work, we can quickly tell who are the good guys from the bad ones <— ‘We’ framing us on the same team

This proposal isn’t a blank check for everyone to do whatever they want. This is a reward to keep and attract the top performers we want. <— Ends with the positive of this proposal

Even if the original wasn’t this polished, it still turned the power dynamics on their head.

Andy stopped being a d*ck and began pondering.
And so did everyone else.

The proposal was drastic, and it wasn’t accepted.
But I gave it the best chance, and it was still a personal win.
Including with the HR coordinator when much later she mentioned that I could ‘negotiate with a very difficult opponent‘.

5. Challenge External Vendors (& Job Candidates)

Prepare thoughtful questions to display your acumen and high standards for vendors and new hires.
Some tips:

• Display responsibility for your work
  • Ask how the new hire will support you or how the vendor’s software benefits your work
• Display your commitment to go the extra mile
  • Ask what they’re willing to do if achieving your goal requires extra effort
• Inquire about costs as if you were spending your own money

6. Speak Early, Speak Often, Speak Confidently

This is the rule of thumb when it comes to the order of speaking:

Those who speak early and often are seen as more credible, greater risk takers, and possessing more leadership potential than those who speak later.

Those who speak last are seen as “also-run”, the ones that didn’t have enough value or courage to speak first.

What if you didn’t have anything to say, or you really didn’t dare to go first?
Well, here is a cool power move for you, then: summarize what everyone else has said before you add your own. Give credit, mention a few people and their ideas. And then add yours.

A few posts on how to be confident:

• Executive skills: how confidence looks like at work
• High-power behavior

8. Self-Promote, But Offset It With Collaborative Frames

You want to self-promote, of course.

But you don’t want to look like you’re only out for “team you”.

Doing it well requires some social calibration and smoothness.

Imagine you’re in a team meeting.
There is a lot of discussions back and forth, but so far no decision has been taken and there seems to be no one leading.

You feel that you have found the perfect way forward.

How do you present it?
It’s usually best to present your idea as the culmination of everyone’s input, rather than your own stroke of genius.

Examples in Power University.