George Zimmerman, who is going through a divorce, was detained for allegations of domestic violence a few days ago after his wife accused him of attacking her and her father and threatening them with a gun. The event made the news, but despite Zimmerman’s very high and controversial profile, reaction to it was muted, suggesting that people have grown accustomed to these allegations, and don’t take them all that seriously.
However, Amanda Marcotte does, and she bemoans the fact that so many wives make an accusation and then later retract it:
Statistics on victim recantation vary from district to district, but experts agree that it’s an extremely common problem, reaching as high as 90 percent of cases in places like Queens, N.Y. It’s long been assumed that the major reason victims recant is out of fear, especially the fear of the abuser retaliating. But a 2011 study out of Ohio State University suggests another reason: sympathy for the abuser. Researchers found by listening to recorded phone calls between men arrested for domestic violence and their victims that the abusers generally started off by getting the victim to question her own version of the story, insisting she remembered the whole thing incorrectly or that she’s making mountains out of molehills. Once softened, he then starts to lean on her sympathy and concern for him. Often, by the end, the abuser has convinced the victim that they are a single unit, a couple standing against a vicious system that’s trying to take him away from her.
This is personal for me. I was accused of pretty much the exact same thing Zimmerman was, and it could have gone very, very badly for me if my ex hadn’t recanted. I wouldn’t have been convicted at a trial, as my neighbor happened to witness the entire “incident” (which in reality was a mere handoff of the children with no threats or agitated behavior on either side), but I could have been shot or hurt badly by the police during an apprehension. Of the thousands of officer-involved shootings that happen every year in the US, a very high proportion are over domestic disputes, whether real or alleged. Police treat domestic disputes as very dangerous calls, and come loaded for bear. The results can be deadly.
Because of the lethal risks involved, police have become more cautious about these calls in recent years. They are also well aware that many of the allegations are exaggerations or outright fabrications calculated to give wives the upper hand in divorce proceedings. Attorneys specifically counsel wives to call the police if they feel “frightened,” and that often translates into calling them when they feel angry or frustrated with an obstinate husband who won’t give in to divorce demands.
What’s left out in the domestic violence debate is that making a false or exaggerated accusation is in itself spousal abuse. Having others beat or shoot one’s spouse is no less abuse than doing so oneself. In this sense, police often become the tools of an abusive spouse. They are the fists and guns of the enraged wife. To Marcotte, who truly fears and hates men, this is right and proper. The only way to achieve justice and equity is to beat, shoot and cage men. This is why she deplores recantations, which allow both parties to calm down and begin to deal with each other as grown-ups.
Marcotte hates men so much that she even lets her prejudices get in the way of women’s best interests. Instead of a reasonable divorce, which is likely to be better for wives in the long run, she prefers escalation and the use of police and criminal law, which typically results in a wife getting nothing from her ex husband. How does it empower women to impoverish them?
More mature, intelligent women know better than to kill or lock up their spouses, because they know that it won’t do them any good. But less sophisticated, i.e. average, women often don’t understand, and lose their heads in the heat of the moment. When they make this mistake, the sick feminists like Marcotte step in to ensure that the family is not only broken, but smashed into tiny pieces, and then they call it “empowerment” and “justice.” One of these days, when we can, we’re going to have to put these people out of business. We just can’t afford this kind of “equity” any longer.
