Since I suggested people in my local area meet up in person last week, I’ve met with two men in person, and had productive, enjoyable conversations with both. As one might expect, all of us were drawn to men’s issues through personal experience. One of the reasons I started The Spearhead was that I knew there must be millions of men out there who have had personal experiences with state and social discrimination against men, particularly in family law. I figured that this would be a pretty large pool of potential readers, so I wasn’t worried at all about whether or not there would be enough interested men.
However, I noticed that there was very little on offer for men who have had these kinds of painful experiences. There were few easily accessible sources of information, and I wanted to change that. Not to say there was nothing out there, but it was largely confined to forums and other communities that required some effort to access. Angry Harry, the pioneer of MRA blogging, may have been the sole MRA blogger online, and there’s just too much out there for one man to cover. Fortunately, that has changed quite a bit over the last few years. Now, it’s pretty easy to find information and articles on any number of relevant topics with a simple Google search or two.
I’m pretty confident that the content and info out there, while perhaps not yet as comprehensive as it ideally could be, is sufficient to get the average guy started on educating himself. Work remains to be done, but we’ve got a good foundation set up.
So now it looks like it’s time to move on to developing a sense of comradery. Groups like AVfM and CAFE are doing that through activism, producing good results on the ground. Others are reaching out through video blogging, and of course a number of us continue to build communities online. But nothing can substitute for face time. And for a lot of us, human contact is pretty important.
Unfortunately, many divorced men and noncustodial fathers are emotionally pretty screwed up. There’s a strong temptation to withdraw from society during recovery from a traumatic event like divorce. I did it myself, living like a hermit for a few years following my divorce, but at least I had my children around much of the time. Although it was probably necessary to have some time to lick my wounds, and it helped me get The Spearhead off the ground, I came to realize that it was becoming a habit and part of my character, which was a reversal from my earlier life, when I’d been quite social and gregarious.
Getting together with men in real life – especially those who share a common experience or interest – can not only help us get things done, but help us deal with some of the misfortunes we’ve experienced. I think it’s necessary, and it’s a damn shame how little is out there. This is largely the fault of feminism, which has so demoralized and frightened divorced men and fathers that until the last few years all they could do was blame themselves, so whatever groups that did exist had no lasting appeal, because the message was so negative. Usually, the leaders of these groups were counselors or other “professionals” who made a living largely off of feminist destruction of families. Naturally, they had little interest in changing the status quo, and this left men who needed company and support profoundly alienated.
Things have changed. Men don’t feel the need to apologize any longer — they are losing that sense of guilt. This is a great opportunity, and I intend to seize it. I hope other men in other places catch my drift here: it’s time for men to start getting together and enjoying each other’s company and promoting each other’s interests again. There is a lot of strength in personal associations, and we’d be foolish not to take advantage of that.
So, once again, I invite any men in the Seattle area to contact me through the contact form. I’ve received responses from nearly a dozen so far, and responded to every one (if you missed my response, please let me know). I’m happy to continue to meet with people personally for the time being, until we can organize a group meeting.
Additionally, if anyone in another location would like to suggest a meetup in their neck of the woods, I’d be happy to facilitate that with a post here.
