The “creepy old white guys buying Asian girls” meme is heating up again, thanks in part to a new movie :
…an eccentric modern love story about Steven and Sandy—an aging white man with “yellow fever” who is obsessed with marrying any Asian woman, and the young Chinese bride he finds online. Debbie, a Chinese American filmmaker, documents and narrates with skepticism and humor, from the early stages of Steven’s search for an Asian bride, through the moment Sandy steps foot in America for the first time, to a year into their precarious union. Global migration, Sino-American relations and the perennial battle of the sexes, weigh in on the fate of their marriage in this intimate and quirky personal documentary…
The recent Spearhead essay profiling my own ForeignBride generated a lot of interest and queries from men, who, concerned with the lack of domestic skills combined with the pork-normative obesity in western women, were beginning to consider the possibility of getting their own ForeignBride. So I will kick off the conversation with some simple anecdotes and recommendations for evaluating whether to start your own ForeignBride project, or simply emigrate to friendlier climes.
Many have expressed concern that once a woman arrives to a western country, she will become “westernized” and create the same sorts of problems for her husband as women deluded through a steady diet of feminist brainwarshing. Another fear is that these women will make false domestic violence accusations and abscond with a man’s sanity and financial assets. Given that professional feminists have made DV into a personally lucrative income stream and passed laws enabling this scam as well as funding initiatives to council foreign brides to take advantage of their husbands, these fears are well-founded.
But if a man does some soul-searching, defines for himself what his true needs and wants are that can be shared with a foreign bride, and importantly, shops carefully among the many options available to him, the chances for finding a loving and supportive companion can be improved greatly.
So education is an important first step. A fella that is considering the ForeignBride route can find a lot of resources on the web to gain an understanding of the process and what he’ll have to do to make it a success. While learning the path to attaining a ForeignBride, the hopeful groom-to-be needs to think about what he wants and consider what realistically may work out for him. The good news is that there are vast numbers of lovely and charming foreign women eager to meet and marry an American man, because outside the U.S., American men are considered top quality in terms of husband material. Along with their good character and talents, these women have strong traditional upbringing and attitudes conducive to making for a happy marriage. Frankly, they consider it their number one duty to make their husband happy, and don’t have the confusing panoply of feminist policy directives swirling around in their heads to complicate their everyday existence.
And what of that drive to please their husband? Perhaps because the marginal of survival is very thin in many lands. A woman’s husband is vitally important to her, because it’s her husband, she lavishes care on him and ensures her own survival. As for subservience, what a laugh. These women, through their expert ways in pleasing a man, quickly take control of the relationship while fooling the dumb brute to think he’s in charge. They tolerate no disrespect. Cross them and the pussy shuts slams shut until he makes entreaties for reprieve. A little knowledge of female psychology can help him get through these difficult times.
So the comments often come up that “once she gets her Green Card, she’ll take off” or “she only wants a ticket to the U.S”. To this one can reasonably observe, the U.S. ain’t so great as many would claim, and for most of these women, who love their land and culture, it is difficult indeed to depart and come to live in the frozen wastes of the great North. More likely, your problem will be to convince her to leave her home and come live here, and once she is here, to make her life as comfortable as possible as she adjusts to this strange land, where dogs wear clothes and live in houses, and men live under bridges.
We return then, to the idea that a man needs to define his requirements. They depend on his age, income, personal interests, where he lives, whether he wants children, and how his prospective bride might mesh with those and compliment them. It is a mutual thing. Consider her needs in this equation and your chance for happiness becomes greater. Here’s the thing that has helped my situation a lot and something for you to carefully consider : my wife is Vietnamese, and her cultural bonds are very strong. As it turns out, in many large metropolitan areas there are large numbers of Vietnamese. In some cities they have developed vibrant economic activity, and thus new Viet immigrants can find fellowship and cultural activities to make their life a lot less lonely and homesick. If you live in a rural area, or a cultural demographic that has no connections with her culture, the isolation may be too much for her. At the very least (if you go Asian that is) is that there is a decent Asian market nearby. Ideally, you should spend significant time in her culture and appreciating her ways, and let her build that in your home.
The quantity and quality of foreign women available for matchmaking is astounding. If you have carefully weighed your situation and understand what you want, use the websites to match your needs to hers, make contact, and if you find the one that’s right, go meet her. Get a passport if you don’t have one yet. Vaccinations for the regions you will visit are recommended and can take 6 months for the proper regimen.
The process to get her here takes about 18-24 months initially, then several more years to establish her permanent residency. You need to understand this process in detail, even if you hire an immigration attorney to do the work for you. It may cost you $20,000 or more after all the fees and travel. The upside of this will be the fun in traveling to her country. I lived with my bride there for awhile and had a great time. As for success in getting her fiance’ visa, the great majority of K-1 visas applied for are granted. In 2009, 95 percent of the K-1 visa applications were approved: out of 29,127 K-1 visas applied for, 27,678 were issued, and 1,449 refused, and 1,266 were waived/overcome.
It will likely be a real challenge for her to live here, as well as for the two of you to build a relationship. On a positive note, you will likely find her very adaptable and eager to learn about her new home and language. As you have seen from the photos in the last essay, the benefits to a marrying a foreign lady can be very satisfying and a just reward for the sacrifices you have made to bring her to live with you.
