Game is for Jerks, Too?

This is a guest post written by Factory

This post will actually come a little too close to TMI in spots, be forewarned.

I have never really had all that much trouble attracting women. For whatever reason, I have constantly had women tell me they “feel comfortable” with me, for example, for as far back as I can remember. And I was 31 before I first asked out a girl, which was me trying something new after my split with the ex.

Because I have had such fortune with women, I have indeed had many sexual partners. It’s not uncommon for me to go to a bar, and have some woman make the thinnest of pretexts before trying to lean in for a kiss…

Again, not sure why. Maybe it’s because I’m regarded as attractive physically (this much has to be a given, I would say), maybe it’s because I’m not a very intimidating guy physically (I’m 5 foot 8 – maybe 160lbs soaking wet).

But here’s the thing. Like I said, I have VERY limited experience “dealing with women” because I have NO idea what to do if they don’t throw themselves at me (ok, these days it’s more like lack of interest, but I digress).

I imagine that’s a bit of an uncommon state for a man to find himself in. I imagine there would be a lot of men that say “boo hoo” to all of this, and are even now unclenching a fist…but consider:

Even I, a guy who has had way more success with women than he has any right to expect, could benefit greatly from Game. Because even though I have no problem at all getting “women”, getting a QUALITY woman is not easy.

A couple of personal examples to show what I mean.

The other weekend, a friend called me up, and suggested we hit a bar we hadn’t been to in years. This bar is a meat market pick up joint, and strange things happen there (the last time I was there some chick bit me…at random…just walking by, and I guess I looked tasty. No, she didn’t break the skin, and yes, it hurt).

While there, I ran into one of the women who has done some modeling for me (I’m an ex commercial and advertising photographer that does digital art now and again), and as it turned out, she was interested in “partying” after the bar..

I take her back to my place…

Where she proceeds to make out with BOTH of my roommates! (No lectures on taking her to my place… she’d been there before).

So, attempting to rectify the mistake of taking this obviously crazy woman home, I call her a cab and wait for it with her outside. Which is when she tells me she doesn’t want a “cheap night” with me, she wants me to COMMIT to her (if you can believe it) and go on “dates” before I get any.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her she was such a screwed up slut, she wasn’t even going to get the one nighter, let alone the relationship she wanted. I was still sort of in shock that she thought I wanted Thing One to do with her, to be honest….

Another one….

A few months ago, I was seeing (OK, FWB type seeing) a girl 18 years my junior. This was an on and off, over the course of three years casual kind of thing. One night I was at her place when a friend called with an invitation to go see another friend play in a band. She and I went to said bar, where she at the end of the night proceeded to go home with another guy…and I mean RIGHT at the end of the night.

Now, don’t get me wrong, the “no strings” thing is fine by me, and if she wanted to go home with this guy any other day, get his number and call him later…whatever, I wouldn’t have cared.

But no, she ditched me right there, publicly. Then called me the next day hoping to apologize.

I’m no idiot, this was a huge diss, and both of us knew it, but what blew me away in this case was not that she ditched (I’ve been the guy ditched FOR way too many times to get angry when it happens to me), but that she genuinely couldn’t understand why I tossed her, since we weren’t “dating”. Apparently, common courtesy is an alien concept.

Needless to say, while I mourn the loss of pussy half my age(-ish), it was the only acceptable solution.

So why the public self-flagellation?

If nothing else these experiences have taught me these simple truths:

You can have all the “natural advantages” in the world, and still fail due to lack of knowledge/training. This is as true for the dating/mating world as it is for Professional Sports or your Career.

AND

Without a clear idea of where you would like to be, all the forward motion in the world cannot guarantee you’re not headed in circles.

I have had, oh, well over a hundred sexual partners I would imagine. I got married and Divorced (and had numerous “partners”) before I ever asked out a girl, and to this very day have 19 and 20 year old women literally throw themselves in my lap (it’s happened more than once this year – and I’m OLD now). Yet not once, never, have I had any real control over my own “dating destiny”.

And that’s what it’s really all about, isn’t it?

Taking control of one’s own destiny? Deciding what you want, and then finding a way to get it?

There is no one that cannot benefit from at least a basic understanding of “Game”. There are very few men that would not benefit from a little more self confidence, and for many men, self confidence is really all Game instills…

We all have our troubles with the opposite sex (even same in some cases – Game works for Lesbians too). The point is, learning Game does not make one “weak”. It doesn’t turn you into a “manipulator”, although it will initially likely drop women quite a few pegs in your eyes, to see how vain and easily led “astray” many are…forewarned is forearmed.

But it does, to some degree, give men back some autonomy. If nothing else, it shows the games women play for what they are.

For example, I know EXACTLY what went on in those two examples given. I know what it says about their regard for me, and their expectations. And while I may not have had enough of an interest to “play the game” to ensure these scenarios never took place, I do at least have an idea of how to avoid this in cases where I actually care.

That’s something you can’t take away from Game…once you see these things for what they are, you see them that way forever. And this knowledge has at the very least given me the backbone to tell these life-sucking harpys to piss off…

Because in my younger years, I would have put up with it.

-Factory