I’ve noticed that almost all of the guys who denounce Game are what one might call “mature,” whereas those who are enthusiastic about it tend to be quite young. A lot of people might simply assume that it’s because older men are jaded and have had bad experiences with women, while younger men are still hopeful and haven’t yet been through the worst of it. However, that isn’t the entire story.
There’s a fundamental shift in the balance between men and women that occurs right around the age of 35. Naturally, it should happen some five to ten years earlier, but we’ve pushed marriage later and later in recent years by extending education and institutional obligations to some extreme, and women’s expectations about when they need to get on the ball and settle down have followed the trend.
What seems natural to a lot of older men, but is still largely unknown to younger ones, is that by the time men and women are in their 30s the mating game tilts decisively in men’s favor. There are a number of reasons for this, such as women’s beauty being at its height in the late teens to early 20s, men’s hormonal peak being around the age of 20, and female status in the workplace being higher while younger (probably correlated with beauty). Men begin to develop self-control and restraint at the same time women’s beauty begins to decline — usually in the mid-late 20s. By this time, men and women begin marrying each other in large numbers, having children and starting families, which takes a great many eligible men off the table (temporarily in many cases).
Single women in their 30s suddenly find themselves facing much more formidable and scarce prey, whereas single men in the same age range find themselves in a surprisingly comfortable position with a fairly wide range of choices. This change is permanent — women never regain their advantage ever again. It is this fundamental shift in status in the mating game that makes Game seem superfluous to older men. Why would one need it when you can take one look around at what’s on offer and find yourself far from impressed?
Men who have lived in that reality for some ten years tend to forget what it’s like to be a sex-starved college kid surrounded by hot young women. They disparage the idea that game is worth anything at all, because for them it often isn’t. In contemporary society, desperate women abound who will throw themselves at guys in their 30s and 40s. Men often find that a surprising number of these women are already married or in relationships, which tends to add to their cynicism and detract from their willingness to put any effort into wooing women. Men don’t even have to be all that good-looking or wealthy — all you need is a car, a job and freedom from debilitating or disfiguring afflictions. Put yourself out there, and they will come.
However, it’s hard to see this as a guy in your early 20s if you aren’t one of the athletes or smooth-talkers that scoop up most of the hot girls while young. It’s hard to imagine a time when you’ll be the one doing the choosing.
This is why I think it’s important that men who can tell youths what women are really about can impart their knowledge. There is so much bullshit regarding women out there that young guys have a hard time cutting through it. You’ve got men out there telling them that being a feminist will help young men get laid, that being “chivalrous” and kissing their asses is the way to go, or that women all really want to go to bed with a nice, subdued accountant type who always does what they tell him to do. Telling women what they want to hear is big business these days — just ask Dr. Phil.
Unfortunately, a lot of young men are confused by this, and think these peddlers of fiction are being sincere. They think that sleazy professor who declares himself a feminist to ingratiate himself with some butch administrator in a humanities department is actually a righteous, honest man.
Almost all of us men learn sooner or later what garbage this is, but sooner is better than later. So, while many of us may already know that women are nothing like what the feminists or white knights make them out to be, we ought to recognize that young men usually have a great deal to learn. In fact, I’d say that the most important element of “Game” is simply knowing women.
If we put some effort into teaching young men how to see through the fiction and dissembling on the part of women, white knights, and even society in general, a lot more of them might come around and wise up before it’s already too late. Hopefully, fewer of them will have to learn the hard way, and they will gain a better understanding of the women around them a few, crucial years earlier.
