Regular readers of The Obsidian Files will know well my epic struggles with commenters Deery and Jamila, two Black Women who seem to delight in disagreeing with me, LOL. That I don’t mind, actually: if everyone agreed with my take on various things, life would be very boring indeed.
But, as some of my readers have noted, there is a bit more going on than mere disagreement with these two, a kind of “meta message” that both seem to be transmitting, just under the radar, in Game parlance, what we would refer to as “subcommunication”; some have suggested that these two ladies seem to want to “put me in my place” as a Black Man, one who they deem isn’t as smart, sophisticated or urbane.
And to my mind, these astute observers would have a strong point indeed — it has long been known in the Black community of the existence of such Women. In fact, a goodly part of the long-running historical tensions extant between Black Men and Black Women, finds much, by no means all, but much, of its basis in this fact.
I’ve seen the likes of Deery and Jamila all my life. They are often the most haughty, snobbish and bigoted people around. Recently in my post about writer Lori Gottlieb, I argued that I had experienced MORE discrimination and outright bigotry from Black Women than I ever have from Whites, and I stand by that statement today, because it’s true. In another post where I outlined how and why Women were MORE wedded to the notions of a “double standard”, I made the case that Women, taken as a group, were far and away MORE snobbish than are/were Men. Deery and Jamila are Exhibit A & B respectively, on these fronts.
For example, I’ve said before that, based on her comments made here, that Deery not only sees herself as one of the Black Elite, but actually holds lesser Blacks in a goodly bit of contempt-especially Black Males who don’t come from or necessarily aspire to become one of the landed gentry. This was borne out in a discussion where she mentioned her disgust at her own brother’s decision not to continue his formal education and instead chose a more modest life. While I have refrained from publicly commenting, either way, on Deery’s views in this regard, I will now break my silence to say only this: I have four siblings, and at no time did it ever occur to me to hold them in contempt for not doing what I THINK they should be doing with their lives. So long as they were happy and weren’t a net drain on society-not a criminal, having 3 and 4 baby daddies, in jail or on relief forever and a day-so long as they were contributing to the local tax base-I was perfectly cool with whatever they
wanted to do or be in life, be that a corporate raider, or working in a pie factory. My love for them didn’t change one bit.
So, to hear Deery talk about her brother in such acerbic terms, was to be frank, quite painful to me. But it was also quite illuminating, too. In so many ways, Deery values social climbing more than blood.
We saw this in a discussion where I asked whether Axe cleaning products was seen as lowbrow; Deery went to great lengths to suggest that it was, despite the fact that a majority of female commenters were quite clear that what mattered most was that the Man in question smelled clean, regardless if the soap that took to make that happen came from the dollar store or Macy’s.
We saw it again just recently, with a discussion about my take on SCOTUS nominee Elena Kagan; during the conversation, Thomas Sowell’s name came up, and Deery’s reaction to said name, was, again, quite instructive. Although I could immediately see that Deery’s real opposition to Sowell was the simple fact that he’s aligned with the Conservative Right, I decided to let the convo run until it became clear to everyone else what her personal biases were, and the gambit worked. I’ll have more to say about that in a moment, but the point I want to make here is that, aside from his being a Black Conservative, another thing Sowell has gone on record with is his suspicion and disdain of *The Elite* — the very thing Deery is wedded to. It then makes perfect sense why Deery would have the reaction she did at the mere mention of Sowell’s name, now don’t it?
Jamila is no better. Despite her own personal failings, glaring cognitive dissonance and blatant contradictions among her own stated beliefs, still she manages to find a way with which to impugn Black Men as a group; Y, a regular reader here at the O-Files, called it a “Black Men ain’t shit” meme. Indeed, it is, but I’d like to take it a step further-it’s a “Black Men ain’t shit” meme in pseudoscientific drag.
This is because Jamila, in her own sordid attempt to backward rationalize her own mis-steps in life, does so by giving aid and comfort to HBDers like Planet Grok (whom she finally pulled back from, only when he began to get a bit too familiar for Jamila’s tastes) and known and avowed “academic racists” like Michael Levin, a regular speaker at Jared Taylor’s American Renaissance conferences. Initially, on her recent blog post entitled “Why Race Matters”-which is the title of Levin’s 1997 book-Jamila attempts to use Levin’s arguments as to why BLACK MEN were so bad at marrying and being baby daddies. ONLY WHEN I noted that it took two to tango, did Jamila had to admit that, if Levin is correct, it would have to mean that both Black Men AND Women, weren’t too sharp cognitively. She agreed.
But when I then stepped up the Socratic Questioning, asking her that, given the events of her own life would she still agree with Levin’s analysis, she balked. Instead, she blames her own failings not on being fundamentally dim-witted, but rather taking a page out of WEB DuBois’ book(s), and says that her predicaments past and present are the result of her being forced to sharing breathing space with more dimmer Black folk.
Woman, thy name is Cognitive Dissonance.
It got so bad, that even other Black Women readers/commenters could see what was going on; commenter Terry asked Jamila whether she felt this way about the very people who loved and fed and clothed her; in another post, Terry asked how Jamila’s seeming unquestioned embrace of the HBD position jibes with her own self-professed Christian beliefs and worldview. Y, having extensive familial relations in Nigeria, West Africa, demanded proof that Black people and Black Men in particular, were somehow genetically predisposed not to pair bond with Women. Even Chic Noir, who has thus far defended Jamila, had to question the latter on her views, since Chic also has extensive family relatives, this time in Ethiopia-a far sight from Nigeria.
Would it surprise anyone here that Jamila has yet to respond to either of these Sistas?
Chic continues to defend Jamila nonetheless; Terry continues to pray for the gal; Y left in disgust.
And the beat, as they say, goes on.
A little while back I posted up an article written by Psychology Today regular Satoshi Kanazawaa, about why really smart people say, do and believe in really stupid things. He argued that in evolutionary terms, such people are novel, and they use their smarts as a way to signal to others, particularly potentially mates, that they have a kind of extra feather in the cap. The problem with this is, that they’re misapplying their smarts-the vast majority of situations, problems and the like that most of us face in life, don’t require a 130-plus IQ; indeed, far from it. For most people, most of the time, simple commonsense will do.
But for the smarties of the world, they simply cannot bring themselves to grips with the fact that it ain’t that deep — very little of life is. Hence we see these folks do, think, say, really dumbass stuff. They should be FEELING their way through much of life, instead of trying to show everyone how big their brain stem is.
This creates real problems for Women like Deery and Jamila, all up and down the social foodchain, but especially when it comes to relationships. This is because Black Women are already up against it when it comes to their love lives as a group, and being what some would call an “uppity Sista” can only be a bane, not a boon, to their existence. Instead of merely relating to others on an emotional level, Sistas like Jamila and Deery instead attempt to find some overwrought, overarching paradigm that both demonstrates their smarts, and as well explains (read: justifies/rationalizes) their position. Instead of merely saying, in the case of Deery, “I don’t like Sowell because he’s a Black Conservative”, or in the case of Jamila, “I made some personal mistakes and now I’m gonna do better”, instead these gals have to go through all these mental contortions to explain, defend and justify, their FEELINGS.
This is why Deery can’t discuss ANYTHING without a sliderule or a flowchart, and this is why Jamila can’t discuss ANYTHING without copiously quoting from whatever flavor of the month author she’s reading.
And to many Men, regardless of color, such a thing is really, truly, one. Big. Turn. Off.
Of course, such Women get very defensive when they read/hear such things, for reasons I’ve indicated elsewhere in the forum, but it doesn’t change the facts on the ground. The vast majority of guys simply aren’t interested in what your ACT score, or SAT score, or your GRE score, or your LSAT score was or is. Most guys walking around don’t consider matriculating through a top tier uni that big a plus, or a dealbreaker if you didn’t go. Most guys really ain’t interested in debating a chick over something that is bleedingly obvious to like, Stevie Wonder. And most guys HATE having smoke blown up their ass, and when Smarty Women like Deery and Jamila do the kind of things I noted above, that’s when a lot of guys vote with their feet.
So long as you’re not breathing through your mouth and write and speak in complete sentences, for most guys, you’re good to go. There, I said it.
Much has been said about this particular dispensation of time; whatever the reasons for Black Men not going on to higher ed, the fact is that they are now hardly alone-even ASIAN Males are beginning to fall off in comparison to their female counterparts. This spells some serious trouble for Women in general, and for Black Women in particular, because it can point to some real problems *culture wise*, and, as it always does whenever two people come together, the blame cannot be laid at the feet of just one party. Smarty Women have a lot to answer for, too, and here is why I say that the Deerys and Jamilas of the world are making it a heck of a lot harder for the Ys. That’s because, unlike so many Women, who talk that Keith Sweat, “I’m gonna, I’m gonna” stuff, Men simply vote with their feet if and when they determine things have gone as far as they can, they run across a better option, or have simply had enough. They don’t make a big brouhaha over it. The MSM won’t devote hours and hours of primetime coverage to it. They. Simply. Do. It.
And because human beings being human beings, most guys, after having a taste of the Deerys and Jamilas, won’t want to take a roll of the dice to find out if Y is or isn’t the same.
See where I’m going with this?
A final point. If you’re reading this and think, “Obsidian’s just got issues with Black Women”, I can save you the trouble. I had a Black mom. I have Black sisters by blood. The majority of the Women in my life romantically, were Black BY MY CHOICE, and the love of my life now, is Black — in fact, many of you who read this blog regularly know that I refer to her as such: Ms. Brown Sugah. I do not hate Black Women, far from it. I am proud of their achievements, and want them to succeed.
But that doesn’t mean that I won’t call certain groups among them on the carpet for their ridiculous dumbassery either when I deem it fit to do so. Just remember, that I’m stepping in the name of love.
Which is a heck of a lot more than can be said for Smarty, Uppity Sistas like Deery or Jamila when they talk about Brothas like me.
Now adjourn your asses…
The Obsidian
