Author Sascha Rothchild, achieved some notoriety for her 2010 book, How to Get Divorced by 30. In it, she discusses what she calls her “Starter” marriage. This tale as narrated by her, is quite instructive to understanding modern American woman’s views on the institution most of us in the MRA-sphere call Marriage 2.0. – aka – “til death do us part…or I get bored and just don’t feel in love anymore.”

Now, of course, I would never pay to read an obvious auto-hagiograpy that undoubtedly gives yet another glaring example of the Eternal Solipsism of the 21st Century, Western Female Mind. But I did come across an article she wrote, entitled In Defense of Starter Marriage, in which she discusses reader’s reactions to her book and goes on to reiterate the same case she makes for in her book – that “Starter” Marriages are a great way for people to “test run” before finding the “right” one.

This article is just begging for a red-pill fisking of her blue-pill delusions.

Let’s get started…

For every email or comment I get thanking me for writing my book, How To Get Divorced By 30, or for expressing in articles and blogs how a first marriage can be a positive rite of passage, I get an angry email or comment asking, “How dare you destroy the sanctity of marriage!?”

To those irate people I say, thanks for giving me all the credit and power of destroying an ancient institution. (In truth, my contribution was hardly necessary; there were major matrimonial problems long before I came into the picture.)

Let’s start off nicely…I agree Sascha! Sanctity? Sanctity got nothing to do with Marriage 2.0!

I’m not causing divorce, I’m just relaying my own divorce experience, which has been overwhelmingly fantastic.

Of course! Divorce for women under Marriage 2.0 usually is.

The first time I got married, I was 27 and made many of the standard mistakes, including adhering to an arbitrary timetable. I thought dating for three years meant it was time to get married, and marriage at the time seemed easier than breaking up. I also believed that opposites attracted, and I was a type-A, neurotic go-getter and he a laid-back, lovable stoner.

Red flag gentleman. If your thinking of getting married to a particular lady…and she describes herself as a type-A, neurotic go-getter, RUN TO THE HILLS! (Gratuitous plug of one of my fav Metal vids of all time).

At first we complemented each other; I helped him get motivated to put down the video game controller and actually pursue an acting career, and he helped me calm down and enjoy the quiet moments between stressing out about my writing career.

TRANSLATION FROM WOMENESE INTO ENGLISH:

At first we were happy…but than I got annoyed with him always playing his video games, so I began nagging him to find a job. He started auditioning as an extra for B-Rate Rom-Coms in between the latest exploits of virtual-thuggery on Grand Theft Auto just to shut me up. Eventually he’d tell me to chill and smoke a joint with him whenever I got too worked up about him being such a total loser.

But after awhile we both just resented the other’s very different attitude, rhythm and personality. We were also so conscious of never stepping on each other’s toes that we ended up compromising to the point that we were both miserable.

Take note guys. A classic case of Women saying they want one thing but not happy when they get it. Note the magic word here: compromise. Wasn’t this supposed to be the holy grail of EQUALITY? If she were married to a man she looked up to and respected…which would satisfy her intrinsic biological drive for hypergamy…there would not be this talk of “compromise.”

I loved Hollywood; he loved Venice Beach. So we bought a condo in a place we both hated: Sherman Oaks. This sense of democracy just left us feeling unfulfilled.

TRANSLATION: “I can’t believe I married a loser beta.”

My ex and I had a very small nontraditional wedding, too embarrassed and cool to say words like “love,” “forever” and “’til death do us part.” We thought by laughing in the face of tradition we were being original, when really we were just setting ourselves up for divorce.

Heh. Very fitting…given the state of Marriage 2.0, at least you were not being a hypocrite or a liar by giving a meaningless gesture towards the serious commitments and vows of Marriage 1.0.

I bought my own engagement ring and walked down the makeshift aisle to Joe Jackson’s “Is She Really Going Out With Him,” and, at our reception in a friend’s back yard, the best man’s toast was “to the best five years of your life.”

Let’s all give our heartiest round of applause for her ex-husband. Well done sir! You didn’t bust the bank on this flake, and try to live up to yet another Princesses dream of being the center of attention in a grand ceremony of over-indulged fluff.

He was off by two-and-a-half. While I was planning my 30th birthday party, I realized I didn’t want my husband on the guest list. I wanted to start this new decade of my life single and free. I was way too young to be stuck in nuptial mediocrity, and getting divorced would be better than spending the next 50 years in a hell of my own making. I now see that divorce isn’t an evil at all.

Just like Roissy’s maxim 101: For most women, five minutes of alpha is worth five years of beta.

In this case, 2 and a half years of beta was hell enough. Time to go alpha-cock hunting!

My definition of a starter marriage is one that lasts less than five years and in which there are no children. But based on my experience, I coined the term “learner marriage”—the kind that helps keep you from making the same mistakes the second time around. It’s true that second marriages have an even higher divorce rate than first marriages, but that’s because many people don’t investigate why things went wrong and instead repeat the same self-destructive patterns.

We do have to give Sascha some credit here. She’s not putting all the blame on her ex-husband here. The big problem here is that it appears she’s investigated why things went wrong, but because she’s a typical, 21st century, empowered female endlessly searching for Equality, she doesn’t even understand the patterns of self-destruction. Watch the pretty lies she recites in the next paragraph…

I wasn’t emotionally available in my twenties, but instead of confronting that, I married a man who was even less emotionally available.

“Emotional availability” is a code word, and it indicates that her ex-husband most likely started failing her shit tests, and as this drove her crazy, she’d try to “communicate” with him. But because he no longer made her ‘gina tingle, and he was most likely clueless about LTR Game, she grew to despise him. Beta contempt. But most women don’t even consciously realize what is going on. So they resort to vague rationalizations and pop-psychological buzzwords like “emotionally unavailable” to justify their decision to end their marriages.

I tried to hide my own issues behind his. Once married, I realized that keeping the knot tied is a lot of daily work, which only just begins with “I do.”

That’s because you married a slacker-stoner-video game addict who you did not look up to and respect. It sure does take a lot of work to try and live with the cognitive dissonance of going against your basic hypergamous hard-wiring.

I made the mistake, as do many women, of focusing on getting married rather than on the actual marriage.

Ok, I’m finding hard to work up too much schadenfreude here….she at least has a level of awareness not typical of most Western women nowadays.

It wasn’t until it fell apart that I forced myself to look inward, went to therapy, spoke honestly with friends about my fears and feelings. I also decided that instead of being bitter and baggage-laden, it was time to be a more independent, wiser, and all-around happier person. In a radio interview about my book, a DJ said I sounded cheery for a divorced lady. I replied, “Divorce shouldn’t make you depressed; it’s being unhappily married that does that.”

Of course divorce made you happy…what negatives are there for women getting divorced under the Marriage 2.0 regime? Nevertheless, I do have to give you kudos for avoiding the trap of victimization and letting your baggage make you embittered and unpleasant like so many other divorcees.

More than 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, yet the wedding industry is booming, which means the belief in nuptial bliss remains.

More like their is still a sizable section of men that don’t know any better and are still susceptible to being suckered into Marriage 2.0.

And so it should! If you find yourself divorced, as I did, and actually take the time to dissect the death of your marriage and make some needed changes in your life, then learning from that starter marriage can prove to be a crucial step towards happiness.

Too bad you missed the most important lesson. Cross your own hypergamous instincts when choosing a spouse, you will almost certainly end up divorced.

I recently got engaged again, but rather than living like glorified roommates and watching TV every night, my fiancé and I actually spend time together out in the world (snowboarding, trying new restaurants, going to concerts and actually holding hands).

I’d bet an entire paycheck that the subtext of her new relationship has aspects she doesn’t even realize is going on here: her new guy has taken on an assertive role, and she submits and follows…tingling her hypergamous instincts. I’d bet he introduced her to snowboarding ,and introduced her to new restaurants…rather than her trying to beg her stoned ex to put down the controller and take her out.

Sure sometimes I have to sit through a Cubs game and he has to watch me try on shoes, but we don’t avoid conflict by losing ourselves in compromise.

Don’t you want EQUALITY in your relationship?

We moved to a neighborhood we both enjoy, communicate by expressing actual feelings rather than just saying, “OK, whatever,” and combined our books on shelves knowing we will never have to separate them.

“OK, whatever,” I think this corroborates my initial suspicions that her ex-husband was regularly failing her shit tests, she’d get upset, and he’d just blow her off.

Our wedding will be filled with family and friends, traditions and the word “love.” We have a wedding planner, I will wear an actual wedding dress and we’ll say vows that are emotional rather than snarky. But most importantly, my second marriage will work because I’m armed with the knowledge gained through my misguided first.

Good luck Sascha. I only hope your new partner doesn’t get too comfortable and routine and starts to bore you.

Of course, the more important thing to take away from this entire experience is the general attitude of Sascha when she “settled” for Mr. Good Enough. Ladies, don’t settle to get married.

Given the realities of Marriage 2.0 and the divorce regime that ruins so many men and children’s lives, thanks…but no thanks.