According to an article in The Daily Beast, men are demanding that women get pregnant, and then forcing them to have abortions. Nobody knows why the men are doing this, but as we all know it is the nature of men to do mysterious things that make no sense so that they can have “control.”

If one were to take the article at face value, despite the laws and technology that allow women to either give birth and force a man to pay for a child whether he wants to be a parent or not, or have the incipient human vacuumed from her womb – again, whether he wants the child or not – dastardly men have been thwarting the intentions of our benevolent feminist social workers and professors by exerting this reproductive control.

However, it goes much farther than abortion. According to some “stories,” men are telling women whether or not they can use birth control. In a veritable epidemic, men are forcing women into pregnancy, perhaps because being hauled before a judge and ordered to pay child support gives them that superlative feeling of power that the abusers crave like soma:

These disturbing stories were recounted to researchers from the Guttmacher Institute by women sitting in the waiting rooms of family planning clinics and domestic violence centers. They are different from one another: one portrays a man who pushes a woman to get pregnant, only to irrationally pressure her to have an abortion, while the other shows an act of birth-control sabotage. But the stories have something in common: they hinge on themes of coercion, control, and pregnancy.

Actually, it is easy to believe that some guys might freak out over pregnancy, given what it could mean for them. Child support laws have probably persuaded millions of men to attempt to convince their potential babymommas to abort. Additionally, there are a lot of guys out there who are not too bright, or may be immature, and who quickly sour on the idea of fatherhood when they realize the financial penalty they are likely to pay for it.

However, let’s get to the real issue at hand: the study is largely aimed at young, poor and unmarried women who probably shouldn’t be having children anyway. What is really going on here is that there’s a coterie of feminist bureaucrats attempting, as usual, to lay the blame for illegitimacy squarely at the feet of men. No, it isn’t the girl’s fault that she got pregnant or had an abortion — it’s all about “reproductive control” exerted by men.

As with most of these issues, when feminists get involved things get worse, because accountability cannot be found in the feminist dictionary. But for those of us with the ability to think rationally, how about this solution: young, unmarried women exert some “control” over whether or not they take off their pants. If a woman is not married and does not want to get pregnant, excluding forcible rape, she has all the opportunity in the world to avoid pregnancy. Therefore, to argue that men are somehow responsible for the abortions and pregnancies is simply another example of insulating women from their own bad choices.